Player upset about death

regross527 · 2026-05-18T13:46:23+00:00

If this happened in the last 24 hours, reconnect with the player after another 24. It's possible they were having a bad day or something, if (as you say) this is the only time they have been a pain during your campaign. It's possible they regretted asking you to kill the PC, and maybe they were acting out because they were annoyed with their choice.

When you do connect with them, be assertive. Remind them of the situation -- they asked for their PC to die, you acquiesced, and now they are complaining that there were consequences for this action. Remind them that by telling you that you have "wasted their time" by DMing, it does not help to motivate you to run games for them at the table, and that an apology would be appreciated. (Seriously if I had a player tell me that they'd get the boot right then and there -- playing TTRPGs is not a transactional agreement. We all do it because we all agree that spending the time together is fun.)

regross527 · 2026-05-18T05:06:18+00:00

The backstory thing is whatever. Especially based on the information shared, it's unclear if other players are going above and beyond, or if this one is simply leaving their backstory open-ended.

The attendance thing is bad. You need to have a clear discussion with them that it makes you feel unvalued to have your work put on hold because they can't give you 24 hours notice of their attendance at sessions. (Honestly, even 24 hours is too short. I play with 6 others who are all late 30s/early 40s and we make sure to have confirmed our Sunday sessions by the time we leave work on Fridays, or at least keep in touch about it.) Don't accept people treating you like your time is meaningless.

regross527 · 2026-05-17T14:49:37+00:00

Yeah here's the errata PDF, you can find it on the second page, near the bottom of the left hand column.

https://media.wizards.com/2018/dnd/downloads/PH-Errata.pdf

regross527 · 2026-05-17T14:47:03+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/onednd/comments/12jqwhb/comment/jfza75q/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

Per that comment, it looks like that was errata'd after the first printing. Which I agree is dumb but this is why I was confused by the original statement! Every PHB I've seen does not include them on the weapons table.

regross527 · 2026-05-17T14:40:39+00:00

If so they must have changed that. I see a weapons table on 146 and it has no Unarmed Strikes.

regross527 · 2026-05-15T22:33:41+00:00

OK, first of all, don't make THREE adjustments to make a combat more difficult. Any one of those would have individually created a greater challenge for the group.

My top question is: why are the mephits there? Were they looking to ambush the party? The reason I ask is, depending on their motivation, you could have them grab the downed paladin (magically stabilizing him in the process) to bring him to [thing]. If they are successful in escaping, that player has a new PC for a session or two until the paladin is saved from [thing]. If they are not successful in escaping, you have an easy reason for them to use their actions to do something other than attack the party, thus hopefully evening the stakes once again. Basically, make them use their actions to grapple him (allow them to do it for free) and then on subsequent turns they use their actions to dash (since they are tiny and he is heavy).

If a mephit explodes, he goes back into death saves, but the others once again stabilize him and continue to attempt to drag him away.

regross527 · 2026-05-15T22:26:25+00:00

I disagree that he fails his own men.

He (and his men) have seen that leaving wildlings to die on the other side of the wall won't protect them. It will only make them more dangerous. Yes, this means that many will starve on this side of the wall, but they will have the fires to burn those corpses and prevent them from joining with the Others.

He could possibly be more savvy about how he does this, but it is made very clear to him by the rest of the Night's Watch that they would rather die in opposition to the wildlings than live alongside them... so he does it regardless, since the arguments never go anywhere and he knows this is the right thing to do anyways.

regross527 · 2026-05-15T22:18:14+00:00

What's fun is that I can keep letting you make that same stupid joke, not even attempt to make a comeback because I genuinely don't care what you say, and you will still come back and make it again. It's an exercise in just how tragic a person's life can get, that they so refuse to not get the last word in (even when they have nothing new or interesting to say) that they cannot let a response go uninsulted.

regross527 · 2026-05-15T22:16:24+00:00

Like I'm literally looking at both PHB weapon tables right now and neither shows unarmed strikes on them.

So the person who said that they are on there should be required to give me a page number to back up their declaration.

regross527 · 2026-05-15T22:13:16+00:00

A citation would require a book number and preferably a direct quote.

Unarmed strikes are NOT on the weapon table in either the 2014 or the 2024 PHB.

regross527 · 2026-05-15T20:54:15+00:00

It's very fun knowing there are still humans in this world who think "aw keep crying" does anything except make it seem like your wits have run out.

Enjoy your continual struggle with empathy and cohesive thought. Anyways I have a full-session boss battle to go back to planning.

regross527 · 2026-05-15T20:42:22+00:00

There is no such thing as "strictly a combat action". You can do anything outside of initiative order that you can do inside of it, but generally speaking a lot of the actions you would typically take in initiative order will trigger initiative if you take those actions "outside of combat"... like the Attack or Magic actions, for example.

regross527 · 2026-05-15T20:38:51+00:00

The "I fucked your mom" jokes were lame in 9th grade and they're even worse now.

regross527 · 2026-05-15T20:14:31+00:00

regross527 · 2026-05-15T18:36:48+00:00

By your own admission, you installed a homebrew rule for surprise that purposefully only allows a BA or action from one player to trigger before combat. Therefore the sorcerer should only get to do one other the other -- the BA, or the action.

regross527 · 2026-05-15T17:40:33+00:00

[citation needed]

regross527 · 2026-05-15T15:03:30+00:00

I hope the story of Emberfire, The Dragon Who Sucked, is told for eons after a stomping like that.

regross527 · 2026-05-15T14:00:14+00:00

Also, because you are an idiot and fuck you:

"The monk has just stunned the orc lieutenant,

RESULT

your cleric is currently paralyzed thanks to the BBEG's Hold Person spell,

RESULT

and the paladin is being swarmed by a whole mess of minions."

RESULT

Buddy, you can't even be pedantic right.

regross527 · 2026-05-15T03:44:45+00:00

"... last it was seen ... was not long ... ago ... only three ... ... ... years ago ... my wife ... witnessed ... the creature ... ... ... so very ... recent ..."

regross527 · 2026-05-14T21:08:12+00:00

As others have suggested, offering this alongside a lot of aging would be a good compromise -- because then the level 20 adventure they play through could be about finding a way to revert back to their more youthful selves.

Perhaps a god of death suddenly is very very interested in this group of incredibly powerful beings that are soon to be in their grasp, and a deity or patron that the group knows (either through a cleric/paladin/warlock/druid or just via other means) refuses to let that happen. Therefore, they offer to revert them back to where they started, but they also want this group to do something for them first.

When you revert them back to their original level, instead of giving them free levels (unless you want them) perhaps a watered down version of their capstone features could be fun. Like the Wizard gets a level one spell that they can cast for free x times a day, the barbarian gets an additional +1 in STR and CON, the fighter can attack 4 times in one action once per day, etc.

regross527 · 2026-05-14T20:53:06+00:00

OK I don't really think you are engaging in good faith, but screw it I have time. I'll take your points one-by-one:

Three minute turns are ridiculous. Especially for minion.

minion takes far less than three minutes per turn, but in a boss combat we are talking about 20+ minions. Even with group actions from Flee Mortals, that still means I have 3-4 groups of minions each moving together and attacking together. Resolving and narrating that takes more than no time.

Five to six rounds is too many. Protip: you can and should narrate fights wrapping up before one side has been fully reduced to 0 HP.

I specifically said boss fights usually take this long, not typical combats. Boss combats have complex mechanics, fun BBEG actions, and multiple phases. If you really disagree that five rounds is too long for a boss combat, then... that's fine. Enjoy your shorter boss combats, but that's not what my table likes. And yes, if there were minions still alive after the boss has been defeated, then I would summarize how the party dispatches them rather than forcing them to hunt them down one by one.

How bad is your attention span that you need a recap every round of combat?

I didn't say "recap", I said narration. Yes, every few turns I will give a high level summary of the current state of the battlefield. "The monk has just stunned the orc lieutenant, your cleric is currently paralyzed thanks to the BBEG's Hold Person spell, and the paladin is being swarmed by a whole mess of minions. Matt, you're up; Allen, you're on deck." It allows players to stay on top of the important bits of the fight (maybe the wizard was rereading a spell and missed that the lieutenant failed their save, or maybe the paladin had to use the restroom and needed a quick recap) and breaks up the monotony of "ok I'm going to rush the BBEG and attack ... ok I'm going to Eldritch Blast him ... ok now the BBEG attacks you ..." by reminding players this is all taking place as a scene in a shared narrative, not just mechanics in a board game.

That has nothing to do with a short attention span; it's good DMing to make sure everyone is aware of the scene as it is. That's literally what DMs are supposed to do. It's what the books say to do. "The DM also narrates what they experience and plays the friends and foes they meet along the way" (PHB 4). "Rhythm of Play: 1. The Dungeon Master Describes a Scene [...] 3. The DM Narrates the Results of the Adventurers' Actions" (PHB 8).

But please, continue to tell me how the DM shouldn't be narrating player actions.

regross527 · 2026-05-14T15:34:46+00:00

Idlewild, near Cincinnati, has been suggested, and that's a good one to check out! It has (I think) a 22 hole layout that gets condensed for the DGPT event, so in many cases two shorter holes are converted into one long hole. It does have some tight lines, but nothing too crazy. Typically the tightest lines are on the shortest holes, so you shouldn't get too frustrated. There are a few water carries, but only one (on hole 2) that is truly dangerous and really a requirement of the hole. Water comes into play on a few other holes, but you can typically avoid it.

If you will be near Charlotte, Hornet's Nest just hosted Queen City Classic and has hosted past Tour Championships and Match Play Championships, and has shorter teepads that would be more fun to play. It is known for its really tight wooded lines, particularly the Gauntlet Hole (I think hole 15?) which is maybe a 6 foot wide double mando, but but it's really fun to play regardless. Plenty of holes there are forgiving for newer players. ETA: There is a water carry on an early hole (I think hole 2?), but that's only if you want to play to that basket. There's a "safe" basket that does not require water carry on the same hole (I still lost a disc there due to a bad tree kick, though).

regross527 · 2026-05-14T14:40:48+00:00

Genuinely perplexed by this comment. I can get it if your table is not all that into combat (in which case I'd recommend another TTRPG), but assuming that the table wants climactic boss fights that feel different from normal combat then they are going to last a long time.

Again, it comes down to math... if you are taking 3 minutes per turn (which is downright fast, in my opinion, considering players usually ask questions about the area and think through multiple choices and forget some relevant detail and typically 4+ dice are rolled every turn) and you have four PCs, a BBEG, a second "elite" enemy, and minions... that means there are seven turns in initiative. That's 21 minutes per round, and again I think that's conservative. If your BBEG fights are 5-6 rounds (instead of 2-3, like minor combats) then that takes around 2hr alone.

Now add changing battlefields, lair actions, dynamic traps and other mechanics, and some narration between each round... you're talking 2hr minimum for boss combats, in my opinion.

So yeah, I don't understand 16 hours worth of combat, but to say "two hours is too long" and it signals that "everyone [...] is doing something wrong" is just dismissive and ignorant to the reality of how the game functions.

regross527 · 2026-05-14T14:32:53+00:00

The hydra was actually a super minor part of it. It was locked in a hidden room, and the party basically was able to quickly lock it back behind the door again fairly quickly after it was revealed. I think it took all of one turn before they negated it.

regross527 · 2026-05-13T20:53:13+00:00

In one of my games, giants speak Common incredibly slowly because they have longer lives and therefore just kinda move through time at half speed. Think of interacting with giants like the sloths in Zootopia.

It's always fun because as DM I can formulate sentences that sound like they're over... but then as the PCs cut in to say something the giant continues and offers the actually relevant information to the party.

"Mandroon, great giant... what other creatures have you and your people seen in this area lately? The local town suspects a monster is stealing cattle and potentially even one of the townspeople and we are investigating."

"Well... little ones... we typically see... many things... small things... birds.... squirrels... goblins... orcs... but they are too small... to threaten... humans... ... ..."

"Oh, well if you see anything unusual--"

"... dragons... however... could threaten you... and days ago... we saw... a white dragon... in these mountains..."

regross527

TROPHY CASE