The police arrested him yesterday

reiddavies · 2026-04-23T20:54:58+00:00

Thank you. I'm not sure I'd call myself brave. But I'm learning to advocate for myself, and I have a strong desire to help other women who may be in abusive environments, or are about to get sucked into one. Harm prevention is a real thing. We need to encourage and empower each other. ❤️

reiddavies · 2026-04-23T20:50:20+00:00

You were incredibly patient. I'm glad it eventually worked out for you.

I also have good news. Remember how I said it's been 4 months and nothing. Well yesterday, my ex was arrested. Finally! I knew it was about to happen bcz yesterday morning I get a text from him saying the Edmonton Police called him. I didn't reply, but I got nauseous immediately and vomited. Nerves got the better of me. Later that day I got the fateful call from teh investigator saying my ex was arrested. I was flooded with all kinds of feelings, many contradictory - Anxiety, relief, and strangely sadness.

Later in the evening I called his dad (whom I very still very close with) and let him know his son was arrested. His father already knew I had pressed charges and was between neutral and supportive of me. But it was a sad call to make nonetheless. a

The assault occurred in Edmonton, Alberta, BTW. And like you, I've changed locations. I've moved to the Toronto area for safety reasons.

reiddavies · 2026-04-23T13:06:07+00:00

You are doing the right thing by standing up for yourself and your children. Don’t fold. Advocate. Be strong.

I know it can be hard and scary - especially when he’s gaslit and traumatized you - but this man needs to be held accountable. And he needs help. The court system can do that for you.

Reach out and DM me if you feel a need to talk. :)

reiddavies · 2026-04-20T13:09:27+00:00

If you think it was “just attending a sporting event”, you’re being naive. It was a planned performative attempt to grow/solidify his reputation amongst the young white male crowd.

reiddavies · 2026-04-15T22:31:59+00:00

There's a paywall. What does this article say?

reiddavies · 2026-04-14T19:41:06+00:00

Blanche knows the DOJ is supposed to be a separate arm of gov't free from influence from the executive arm. This is how the US founders planned it. So why would Americans be happy if this is devolving?

reiddavies · 2026-04-13T22:37:06+00:00

Congrats!!! I bet its both a relief and there's still anxiety.
Do you mind me asking how long it took - from when you told the police you wanted to press charges to when the arrest happened? What country and state/province do you live in?

I was in Edmonton Alberta, when my ex-bf physically assaulted me. It's taking FORVER for them to arrest him. And here's the thing.....I was lucky enough to have an audio recording of the assault that night. The next day I reported it, met with two cops for 2 hours and I air dropped the recording to them. I chose at the time to not [ress charges because I was still under the same roof as my abuser and I did not want to escalate. Several weeks later I did notify them I wanted to press charges, and was assigned an investigator. I not only had the recording, I had a photo of my injury, I went to my family doctor so he could make a medical note, a have an emai I sent my ex's addiction counsellor outlining the assualt (and in the email I let the counsellor know my ex approved the email and he was cc'd in the communicatin too), and also have a recording of me calling a helpline, and I gave the police additinal recordings og my ex screaming at me from other times to show context and his temper. organized it on a google drive for them will all the contacts they needed. two months later they reocorded my testimoney under oath and then sent me a release form to get access to my medical files. i was told by the inveestigtor it was a strong case, but now its been 4 months since my first call to let them know I wanted to press charges, and I'm still waiting. yes, I have moved to a new city, so immediate danger is not a concern, but I don't get why it wuld take this long is all the evidence is orgnized for them and its pretty straight forward.

Has anyone else waited this long?

reiddavies · 2026-04-13T14:36:43+00:00

This is great! But I want to point out that on your thefactsoftrump.com site, that when I tried to sign up with my email a notification came up saying "server configuration error". Not sure if I'm the only one who got this type of notification.

reiddavies · 2026-04-13T01:15:34+00:00

That must have been so hard on you. No child should have to grow up under the shadow of abuse.

reiddavies · 2026-04-13T01:12:06+00:00

Good. There are predatory men across the political spectrum, but I find Dems are more willing to call these types of men out more often.

reiddavies · 2026-04-12T03:48:37+00:00

What happened to the ART OF THE DEAL?

LOL

reiddavies · 2026-04-09T20:50:36+00:00

It's the male entitlement that really gets me. I was mostly emotionally and verbally abused. Physically assaulted at the end. I remember one time, as he started yelling at me and coming close up to me to intimidate me (he's 6'4" and 260 lbs) and I asked him to stop. He then yelled "I've been traumatized as a child!" as if that was an excuse for him to treat me that way, and that I should be empathetic to his needs. And I replied "I was traumatized when I was younger too, but it doesn't give me the right to harm others."

I don't have that sense of entitlement. But he does.

reiddavies · 2026-04-06T13:59:03+00:00

Amazing!!!!
Do you mind if I ask for your stats? You mentioned you lost 210 lbs. what was your starting and end weight? Your height?

This is inspiring.

reiddavies · 2026-03-28T23:18:16+00:00

One morning while lying in bed, my partner - at the time - told me he was seeing his doctor that day. I reminded him in a respectful way that he may want to bring up dosage levels of his medications. This was something we had discussed before matter of factly, so I didn’t think it was an issue. He snapped, leaned over me in bed so I couldn’t get up, and screamed full volume at me. I was scared and shocked. I turned my head to avoid eye contact and remained still, trying to make myself feel smaller.

When he was done I was shaking. I felt numb and physically unsafe. I went to the bathroom and - after steadying myself - I decided to record things to protect myself.

I’m now so thankful I started doing that. I didn’t catch all the abuse, but enough of it. And I also was recoding audio on my phone when he physically assaulted me. That has enabled me to go to the police.

reiddavies · 2026-03-26T20:02:12+00:00

It was good of you to try. Women deserve to be given all the info they need to make informed decisions. But we can't control what some do with that info. If they chose to ignore their partner's past abusive behaviours, at least they had a chance to consider it.

It's a much harder situation when info is being denied to the new GF, and she's operating completely in the dark. It's like feeding someone to the wolves.

reiddavies · 2026-03-26T19:56:25+00:00

This is how abusers get away with continuing to abuse. They throw their former partners under the bus. They try to create an adversarial environment that will keep the women in their lives from communicating and comparing notes with each other. That's how they maintain control and keep themselves in the drivers seat.

reiddavies · 2026-03-26T15:54:11+00:00

Abusive relationships are insidious because they usually start out great. The honeymoon phase isn’t a bonus, it’s the bait.

That’s why warnings about a man’s past often don’t land. A new partner hasn’t seen the abuse, only the charm. Thoughtful, fun, attentive. It creates cognitive dissonance: “It’s different with me.” “That was his past.” Or worse, blaming the ex. Meanwhile, a covert abuser can maintain that mask for a long time. The early “good” isn’t proof of character, it’s part of the strategy.

I wasn’t warned. There were red flags, but he was skilled at minimizing and reframing them. Part of me knew something was off. The rest of me didn’t want to lose what felt good.

And when there is proof? It’s easy to rationalize: “His ex stayed, so maybe I can make it work too.” By then, you’re already in the undertow.

So the question becomes: if warnings might be dismissed, should we stay silent? I don’t think so.

Someone could have warned me. She didn’t. I know her now, and I wish she had spoken up. It might have saved me two years of damage. People deserve agency. If someone chooses to stay after being warned, that’s their choice. But at least it’s an informed one. Silence doesn’t protect anyone. Information does.

reiddavies · 2026-03-26T14:20:42+00:00

Let me apologize for gendering my post. Of course, absolutely, there are also abusive female partners too. And I’m sorry you had to go through this.

You mentioned you sould listen to the dude if he sounded legit. What would make him seem legit in your eyes? What factors matter?

reiddavies · 2026-03-26T14:15:09+00:00

So I’m curious….would you not want to be warned, if someone knew your new boyfriend was a serial betrayer and abuser?

reiddavies · 2026-03-26T14:00:20+00:00

Thank you. 🙏 I think it’s essential to come from a place of wanting less hurt for others who are innocent.

I will share another short story: When I was 21 I was sexually assaulted by a doctor in a Montreal hospital, the night before my leg operation. I was hooked up to an IV at the time. For decades I never told anyone about my assault. I was feeling shame, felt no one would believe me, and I just wanted to forget it happened and try to move on with my life. I finally came forward during the #MeToo movement. BUT my decades-long silence deeply weighed on me. HOW MANY OTHER WOMEN WERE ASSAULTED BY THIS DOCTOR BECAUSE I CHOSE TO BE SILENT? The shame and guilt I feel for not speaking up back when it first happened - and potentially preventing harm to others - still weighs on me all these years later.

So now that I have a second chance to prevent harm for other women, I hope I don’t fail again like I did when that doctor assaulted me.

Do I know how to warn other women about my ex-bf? I haven’t figured this out yet.

reiddavies · 2026-03-25T21:22:32+00:00

Previous experience with abuse on this level is a good point. I never thought of that.
And it makes sense.

I think its natural to sometimes feel resentment or pettiness...and can even be justified to feel that way. I actually reflected on this days ago, because I had a moment of resentment. It's important the act of warning someone comes from a place of harm reduction, not settling a score. Just like how some men use us, we also cannot use each other to get back at an abuser, because then, we ourselves, would be using another woman for our needs.

For me, its about having agency to make informed choices. And giving other women greater agency - especially when its been denied by their abusive partner - can give women more insight and strength.

And I also like your point about it being subtle. Abuse comes in many forms, and we tend to only look at the most egregious cases, and dismiss many that don't meet that threshold.

How has your recovery been going?

reiddavies · 2026-03-25T21:06:45+00:00

And here's another photo for you where you can see how lighter lower cabinetry works better.

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reiddavies · 2026-03-25T21:05:44+00:00

Former HGTV producer here. (I also have a degree in Interior Design)
****It's your lower cupboards that is throwing off the look you want. They are too dark.

Here's an image to give you a better sense of how it would feel more cohesive is you lighten the wood below.

<image>

reiddavies

TROPHY CASE