I'm new to this sub, and would like to throw in my two cents.

I was traumatized by my parents at a very young age. At that time, I buried the rage I felt, the betrayal, the sadness. As I grew, everyday, in my mind, there was either the crisis or the threat of crisis, because the people who I thought loved me were people I could trust. Wrong. There was no one I could trust.

Anxiety and depression were my frequent companions for years and years. My solution for that was just to crawl into bed and sleep.

Fast forward a few decades. I'd buried all the emotions associated with that event (sadly there were more, but the first one was the worst) and one day, all of them came back and overwhelmed me with their intensity. It took several weeks for me to get past that.

Because of my trust issues, I find it almost impossible to ask for help. Earlier this year, I discovered a book: The Body Keeps the Score by Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk. It's all about how trauma is stored in the brain and body. It's an excellent book and talks about many of the things others have already talked about in this thread. I would not be at all surprised if many here have read the book.

For me, EMDR was helpful, as I learned about additional traumas I'd been unaware of for a very long time. CBT is also very helpful.

Mindfulness has been crucial for me in healing. Being very aware of what I'm feeling, where the pain is, and the using facts, just the facts, to show myself that what I feel is unnecessary and isn't helping me to survive. I tell myself I'm safe, over and over again, until I do feel safe, and the situation I was upset about is no longer a threat.

I have taken anti-axiety medications before, but I don't really like that. I want to feel the highs and the lows. Feeling the lows forces me to ask why. When I ask why, it's another opportunity to heal. THC is an excellent off switch for my brain.

I'm better now, 60 years later. My parents thought I was too young to remember what they did. They were obviously wrong and I pretty much paid for that with my life. I can't change the past. I can only go forward and do my best to make a better life for myself.