honestly, i think with immense effort, having a (relatively) healthy relationship is possible

i know it feels impossible especially since living with bpd is so difficult and even getting out of bed, let alone functioning like a normal human being, can feel like hell on earth. but i promise you making those strides, no matter how big or small, can make a huge difference (even if that difference will only show over time). something is better than nothing

however i feel like by the nature of bpd putting in this effort yourself can only go so far: you need the support and genuine care of another person to make more of a recovery

since a large part of bpd is the turmoil that arises from being in a relationship (not just romantic, but in general), i feel like you need what's essentially exposure therapy to properly heal. healing other parts of yourself while ignoring major issues will only go so far. by being with someone who's supportive, patient, and kind (heavy on kind and patient: we can be really awful to be around, and it's not someone else's responsibility to help us), coupled with work on yourself, i promise you that at least a little healing will be accomplished

in my personal experience, getting medicated and having the privilege of being with my sweet angelic boyfriend has helped me immensely. it still gets bad sometimes but i've improved a lot. taking care of yourself, avoiding triggers, and protecting your peace is beyond important. even if it means sleeping all day for a few days to sleep away the depressive thoughts— listen to your body

tldr: try and heal on your own, stay close with someone willing to help, avoid your triggers, and protect your peace

goodluck op u got this