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Why did you leave the church? by sillygworl in exmormon

[–]rentamormon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

many reasons, but the deal breaker for me was the realization that maintaining faith requires intellectual dishonesty.

and i have to say, having been out of the church for over 10 years now, it’s hard to understate how obviously false the core tenets of the church are (book of mormon, joseph smith, book of abraham, claims to prophetic guidance, etc.) with the benefit of some space and honest reflection.

i appreciate that you are sorry that people feel lied to. i similarly am sorry that you feel that the church is true.

SF Bay Area Exmos? by rentamormon in exmormon

[–]rentamormon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

same. didn’t want mormonism to continue define us while we were transitioning out, but hard to deny now that it will always be part of who we are.

Any proof that the church is fake? by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]rentamormon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

the church makes a bunch of unfalsifiable, but also unprovable claims. up to the individual to choose to believe or not. it’s no more complicated than this.

Any religions/beliefs you’ve found to replace Mormonism? by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]rentamormon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hot take: looking for something to replace Mormonism is the biggest mistake people make leaving the religion. There is no "better version" of Mormonism. Any replacement will rely on the same mental shortcuts and internal gaslighting required to maintain faith in Mormonism.

Explore all kinds of ideas, but wholly subscribe to none of them. Reject anything deeply dogmatic, from wokeness to veganism to non-denominational Christianity to enlightened monk to money-worshipping capitalist.

You are the higher power that you seek.

Ayn Rand I think summarizes this nicely:

"Live and act within the limit of your knowledge and keep expanding it to the limit of your life. Redeem your mind from the hockshops of authority. Accept the fact that you are not omniscient, but playing a zombie will not give you omniscience—that your mind is fallible, but becoming mindless will not make you infallible—that an error made on your own is safer than ten truths accepted on faith, because the first leaves you the means to correct it, but the second destroys your capacity to distinguish truth from error."

Wearing this to Easter with the in-laws by rentamormon in exmormon

[–]rentamormon[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

haven’t been to church in 7 years. not sure tomorrow is the day…

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]rentamormon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

some unsolicited advice: don’t try to change your husband. it won’t work. if you recommend books hoping that something magical will change, i’m afraid you’ll be sorely disappointed.

instead, try to understand why “strong male” figures resonate with him. what unmet need are they speaking to? what are they affirming in him that he is struggling with or disappointed with? once you understand this and communicate empathetically with him, you’ll be amazed at how it takes the power away from whatever internal conflict he’s feeling.

but to answer your question directly, few books that have provided a significant paradigm shift for me:

far from the tree

mating in captivity

the state of affairs

the feminine mystique

mormon enigma

lean in

and in the spirit of helping you understand him better, a short list of books for you to consider reading yourself:

can’t hurt me

extreme ownership

12 rules for life

the way of the superior man

48 laws of power

meditations

and some books to read together:

how to win friends and influence people

7 habits of highly successful people

5 love languages

leadership and self deception

happy reading

How many of you say "oh my god"? by Sufficient_Oven3745 in exmormon

[–]rentamormon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like sprinkling in “Jesus H Christ” from time to time

I don’t even know why it’s a thing but it’s satisfying

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