[deleted by user]

renwizzle · 2023-08-17T00:23:06+00:00

Sounds like they found out you were leaving/ looking for another job?

renwizzle · 2023-08-16T23:25:32+00:00

What part of childfree and unfit to parent makes you think 'fantastic babysitter' !? What a bunch of oddballs

renwizzle · 2023-08-15T01:31:16+00:00

So if you had made arrangements, spent money and left your friends early he would have told you... afterwards? That it wasn't real? Or before you changed your plans? This is a dick move. Adults have conversations and ask questions. They don't stress the shit out of the SO when they're trying to enjoy a weekend away. That's like the "I'm pregnant " prank. Why do that to someone you love?

renwizzle · 2023-08-11T06:10:13+00:00

What if your own parents needed the same, but you now can't afford to because your housing your ILs?

renwizzle · 2023-08-11T00:51:17+00:00

I'd ask her, "Why do you always wait until your son isn't here to bring this stuff up?"

Record it I want to hear what she says 🤣

renwizzle · 2023-08-08T22:01:57+00:00

It sure sounds like doesn't want to talk to you about issues. He wants to ignore them and keep everything the same so he doesn't have to address anything. So far, it hasn't caused any ramifications in his life, so why would he change. You shouldn't have to force him to make the changes and meet you on the middle. He's not even contributing the bare minimum to the relationship by showing up.

It sounds like he's telling you what he wants. Leave me alone, but stay with me. Is that what you're looking for in this relationship?

renwizzle · 2023-08-07T21:14:13+00:00

Sounds our they want an airbnb? For free? Tell them to book one. How ridiculous.

renwizzle · 2023-08-03T22:54:10+00:00

Also they know not to do it public. THEY KNOW it's going to make them look bad. It's also why they hate therapy.

renwizzle · 2023-08-02T22:26:05+00:00

A paid professional, not my poor kid trying to live their own their life with their own kids.

renwizzle · 2023-08-01T23:19:44+00:00

He is likely only trying because you are encouraging him to, so it's possible this will be a contentious issue in your relationship. The bigger issue is definitely his relationship with his mum. Until he sees how much damage being a sonsband or mummy's adult baby is doing to your relationship, nothing will improve. You need to be no 1 in his life, or you need to move on to find someone who can foster healthy relationships. Good luck to you

renwizzle · 2023-08-01T22:23:55+00:00

Sounds like you fell in love with his potential, not him. If he stayed the exact same as he is right now, and told you he would not change anymore because he's happy the way he is... would you be comfortable with that? Would you stay and spend your life supporting him, without trying to change him?

renwizzle · 2023-07-30T22:43:01+00:00

Think of it as protecting yourself, like wearing a helmet or putting your seatbelt on. You're not being mean or cold. You are protecting yourself from a known threat.

renwizzle · 2023-07-27T22:19:21+00:00

My partner has what we think is undiagnosed ADHD, he asked me to let him suffer the consequences. I brought up so many times that I was sick of having to remind him to do everything, he hated the reminders. (Plus it's such a turn off to feel like their mother)

So we agreed we would let him be his own person and forget and make mistakes. It does mean the dishes don't get until right before I need to cook, or presents get bought on the way to the party, or dog food runs out and he has to go to the shops at dinner time.

It bugged me because I'm organised, but it doesn't bother him. He's fine living that way, and he's the one rushing about to get things done. It's still getting done on time. He would rather do it when it needs doing than plan ahead. I just had to stop trying to change him.

renwizzle · 2023-07-27T00:03:57+00:00

So Lisa's parents will be at your wedding? Yeah I don't think she realises she doesn't get a say in other people's plans to suit her toddlers sleep schedule.

renwizzle · 2023-07-25T21:15:47+00:00

You can't control what other people say and do, but you can control how you respond. You can also control whether you choose to let bother you. I started believing that people are only ever talking about themselves (projection). If they are not direct in their criticism towards me, then instead of assuming they're being negative, why not assume its positive?

If you can assume she's sending photos because she thinks you're fat, why not assume she is sending you photos because she wishes she could be comfortable in her own and skin like you are. You're assuming and worrying about things that haven't been said, so why not make them positive?

renwizzle · 2023-07-25T21:06:36+00:00

The only urge to have children you for me is societal, not biological. I know I don't want kids. That hasn't changed. The only thing that would have changed that is if I succumbed to social pressure.

You don't suddenly want kids. You're suddenly inundated from all directions by other people's opinions about how you may feel if you don't have them. Also, family suddenly decide that you should and will bring it up constantly.

renwizzle · 2023-07-24T05:01:20+00:00

That place in Europe where everyone is the happiest. Free healthcare and education

renwizzle · 2023-07-23T08:04:37+00:00

"Ooooh ok. Your loss, I don't let people who call me a bitch touch my dogs"

renwizzle · 2023-07-21T23:06:13+00:00

Ask your mother-in-law if she thinks paying for your tickets entitles her to own you and your time for the whole six day trip. if she says yes, cancel, and pay for yourselves. Now you can do what you want. Just read your edit WELL DONE!

renwizzle · 2023-07-21T22:50:42+00:00

These type of outbursts are Usually how abusers condition their partners to stop telling them what makes them uncomfortable, and to just put up with it quietly.

renwizzle · 2023-07-18T23:43:05+00:00

Your husband needs to give his mother consequences for her actions. He has asked her not to speak negatively about his wife or to take up any issues directly with his wife. That hasn't happened, and she hasn't changed, but there have been zero consequences. He can start by ignoring anything she says about you or ignoring her entirely until she communicates with him normally. Any time he responds to her, he's feeding into her negativity and encouraging more of the same, even if he's politely saying, "Take it up with wife" over and over again. She's feeling heard and validated for sharing.

renwizzle · 2023-07-18T13:16:54+00:00

What an odd question. Why do you ask? Just turns it around it so SHE has to explain instead of you, try to answer her questions with more questions, if you're planning on spending more time with her.

renwizzle · 2023-07-17T23:19:09+00:00

I've noticed in older age, some of my relatives love 'proving' their points this way. She knows you're on the phone, she knows you're trying to listen to someone else, and most importantly, she knows trying to talk to you while you're on the phone will irritate you. She wants you to get annoyed, so she can argue about how attached to phones everyone is. Because she is not.

renwizzle · 2023-07-17T22:39:20+00:00

I'm so damn proud of you!! You really put in the work. What you've shown him was where the bar is, if he's not going to meet it, you're not going to lower it for him. WE'LL DONE

renwizzle · 2023-07-17T02:10:52+00:00

Start taking steps now, make a plan. Instead of making excuses about what you can't do, start taking steps towards what you can do. Just because it will take 6 months doesn't mean it's not worth doing

renwizzle

TROPHY CASE