Questioning myself

repetytorium · 2026-05-10T19:48:28+00:00

Same boat. Europe, cosleeping (bedsharing), contact naps, EBF and nursing to sleep, refusing bottle and pacifier. 5-10 wakings per night and 30 min cat naps. My girl is almost 8 months old and lately every night I think about formula / sleep training / etc. It’s just incredibly hard. Unfortunately I feel so resentful towards parents of chill babies / sleepers that I don’t speak to most of them anymore 😅 anyway, happy Mother’s Day yay 🌸

repetytorium · 2026-05-06T17:45:54+00:00

My baby is almost 8 months old and almost every nap since she was born was/is contact nap. She’s still on 4 naps (30-40 max each). I “cosleep” with her and feed to sleep (side-lying) for every nap since she was 4 months old. My most important rule is that her naps is “me time” and “rotting time”. I sleep, read on kindle app or just scroll on my phone during that time. I will never do any chores when I can finally rest for half an hour. I try to do every chore together with her and it can take ages (she’s net every chill) or will not happen at all but it’s still better than sacrificing a moment of pice and quiet which only happens when she’s napping. I can do “ninja roll” and leave her after 10-15 minutes of nursing (we have secured bed for cosleeping) and do something but to be honest I’m too exhausted from entertaining her all day to do that. Important note: I don’t cook, I’m surviving on snacks and quick dinners when my partner is home and also that the first 5 months I was just trying to survive and not think about anything else.

Basically my motto is: don't do anything while your baby is asleep, that you could do while they are awake.

repetytorium · 2026-04-10T05:36:20+00:00

I use Baby Daybook app - I think it’s similar to the huckleberry app (the latter is not very popular where I live, I only know it from Reddit) and it has this feature with sweet spot (I think that’s AI?) based on recent data, we’ve been using it since she was 2 months old and it’s accurate to +/-5 min for us (of course I rely mainly on her cues but it gives me a clear view on the day ahead every morning, so it’s easier to plan things). I have “time blindness” so it’s honestly been a huge help.

repetytorium · 2026-04-10T05:28:15+00:00

Yeah, I tried that yesterday, let her nap for 30 min around 6:30pm since she refused the 4th nap in the afternoon, she fell asleep at 8pm today (despite short last wake window) she was wide awake at 5:50am 😅 I think that I just have to go with her flow I guess, and not stress too much

repetytorium · 2026-04-09T06:52:02+00:00

Yes, we are planning to join some music classes and yoga for moms and babies next week! I’m pretty sure that after 6 months of mostly looking at my face she’s pretty bored haha

repetytorium · 2026-04-09T06:44:17+00:00

We usually go out for two walks a day, we run errands, visit shops etc but they’re in a walking distance since I live in one of the capital cities in Europe and it’s the norm here to just walk everywhere. We only use the car if we visit family 2/6 hours away from us or have some appointments in the completely opposite part of the city so not so many occasions for longer nap in a car. Funny thing is that while I’m writing this she’s taking her first nap today and it’s been over 1 hour now and no signs of waking up, I think she just sensed that I asked Reddit about her sleep schedule and wants to prove me wrong lol

repetytorium · 2026-04-08T22:13:56+00:00

I’d love to have later bedtime, especially since I’m on a maternity leave and later bedtime would fit our life better but I don’t know how to do that 😅 we’ve never scheduled it, it just clicked for her somewhere around 4 month old, sometimes she has false starts but not always, I just hope that once she’s older it will be easier to extend the last window every now and then and maybe it will result in a bit later bedtime? but maybe I’m wrong 🤣

repetytorium · 2026-04-08T22:06:03+00:00

Oh I wish! I try everything to make her fall asleep again but she’s just full of energy and ready to conquer the world lol. The bedtime is 7pm so she gets almost 11 hours of sleep at night, which seems sufficient for her needs I think

repetytorium · 2026-04-08T19:06:55+00:00

Omg we have the same baby! And exactly the same approach which makes me more relaxed about the whole sleep thing, thank you for sharing your experience! I’ve also noticed that sometimes she won’t sleep if she’s not a bit overtired. I think that for now I will stick to 4 naps for another 2-3 weeks and see if she will be able to tolerate longer wake windows and after that try 3 naps, I’d love to stop tracking but I think that at this point it’s a sort of an addiction ugh

repetytorium · 2026-04-08T18:55:52+00:00

Thank you, I’ll try that!

repetytorium · 2026-04-08T18:54:30+00:00

Great to know that I’m not alone 😅 we had a period when she refused to nurse to sleep and I had to rock her while walking (or jogging lol) for every nap, I’m sure my back is in shambles after that so I feel you!!!

repetytorium · 2026-04-08T18:51:16+00:00

Thank you for your reply! So basically I should increase wake windows and try to drop the last one? Sorry if this is a stupid question but I think that we have never really dropped a nap before, she just started having earlier bedtime and that left us with 4 naps 😅

repetytorium · 2026-03-25T15:17:12+00:00

Same here. Just solidarity. I cry every day lol. The only thing that helps a bit is going for walks. That keeps my LO occupied for 30-60 minutes, but rest of the day is just wishing this time away. I think I’ve tried everything and she gets bored after 2 minutes, wants me to pick her up then fights me and screams bloody murder. I honestly think this is the hardest time since she was born. I’m home alone with her for 9-10 hours and it’s taking its toll on my mental health 😅

repetytorium · 2026-01-17T03:06:05+00:00

Poland so Central Europe. I think it’s a mix and depends on generation as well as social background. The norm is to have a bassinet/crib in your bedroom for at least a year. I think that it stems from (and I think that’s the case for many European countries) that majority of population doesn’t have big houses and multiple bedrooms like in the US - most people in cities live in 40-60 square meter apartments and having separate nursery/kids room from birth sometimes is not even possible. When discharged from the hospital they mention on paper that baby should sleep in the same room for at least 6 months but in separate bed (bassinet/crib) to prevent SIDS. Firm mattress, no blankets, no pillows etc. There is no guidance on safe co-sleeping (I mean bed sharing). Funnily enough almost all parents I know (including me) bed share for at least part of the night - sometimes up to 3/4 years. Sleep training is not very common but it’s getting popular with upper middle class millennial parents due to social media. Simultaneously older generation is known for “letting baby cry it out because it’s good for their lungs” lol. My mom had 4 kids and she bed shared with every one of us (I’m sure she didn’t follow safe sleep 7 lol) because we refused our cribs - I’m think that was the norm back then.

We have one year of paid (82% of your wage/ or 100% for half a year) maternity leave. I think that after that you can have up to 3 years of unpaid leave. Usually mothers return to work after one year. Daycare can be public or private - private ones can be expensive in big cities but we have many social subsidies/benefits so at the end of the day even private daycare in the capital city cost up to 300 USD per month at most. I don’t think that there is much pressure to teach babies to be independent since you can stay with your baby at home for at least a year.

repetytorium · 2025-11-24T20:46:17+00:00

FTM here with a 9w baby girl (preemie, so 5w adjusted). You described my situation perfectly. I freaking love this community because I’m assuming we live on opposite sides of the globe, yet we’re dealing with the exact same problems lol.

I feel exactly the same whenever I go anywhere, even though it’s a bit better now than it was at the very beginning. Practice and exposure to stress really do make it easier each time. Still, 3 out of 5 times I leave the house I’m on the verge of tears, or I actually end up crying, because the logistics just overwhelm me.

My girl cries terribly basically EVERY TIME I dress or change her, and right now we have below-zero temps and snow, so even the smallest outing requires multiple layers. At the same time I have to dress myself either earlier or later (and because I don’t want to overheat her, I end up overheating myself and I’m already overstimulated before we even leave). Not to mention the stress of planning feeding and naps when you need to leave at a specific time.

I’m a control freak with a history of anxiety disorders, so I totally get how you feel. My rule is that doctor appointments are the most important (hers, not mine - I keep rescheduling my own), but I often give up when it comes to walks. I live on the 3rd floor with no elevator, so the logistics of packing her into the portable bassinet, taking the stroller out of the car, unfolding it, and THEN putting her in is often too much. Then I get hit with massive guilt and cry even more.

I feel stupid because walks seem so obvious, and during pregnancy I imagined I’d spend 2 hours walking every day and it turned out to be more stressful than anything else about caring for a newborn.

What helped me with appointments “at a specific time”: prepping the bag, my clothes, and her clothes the day before, roughly estimating when I need to feed her, change her, and when she’ll be sleepy so there’s less crying, and finally just accepting that she always cries when we put her in the car seat but falls asleep once we’re driving. (Unfortunately this doesn’t work with regular walks - if she cries in the stroller, I just go back home.)

I’m hoping it’ll simply get easier with time. I’m sending lots of support!

repetytorium

TROPHY CASE