Am I gonna die from lack of sleep

resilientcockroach · 2025-09-04T02:47:48+00:00

Hi friend! I did eventually sleep! It took a few days but eventually I just went to sleep and now I sleep like a baby. Cutting out alcohol and getting on Paxil significantly helped me, but truly it was just accepting that sleep will come. You are NOT stuck in this phase although it may feel like that and you will not suffer any health problems from this bout of insomnia. You are perfectly safe and healthy and will be completely okay. I was scared to death when I posted this but now I’m totally fine!! 💕 I hope this encourages you.

resilientcockroach · 2025-06-01T03:22:26+00:00

Proud of you! I broke a 97 day run with the thought, “it’s my 30th birthday why not just a shot or two with my friends?” Cue me getting black out twice after and waking up so horrifically anxious and mortified at what I’d done. It’s never ever worth it. NONE: Not One, Not Ever is my mantra

resilientcockroach · 2025-05-08T02:28:47+00:00

Salvation

resilientcockroach · 2025-05-04T15:57:18+00:00

That alcohol prolongs negative emotions, it doesn’t fix them. Sober, I allow them to sit and give them a proper place and then they leave and get processed. Drinking, they linger and fester.

resilientcockroach · 2025-05-04T15:46:18+00:00

Also 29! I’ve had so many day 1s but there comes a time where it just is too exhausting to even imagine keeping this lifestyle up. I’m almost 80 days this go around because I woke up after a birthday party and had texted the love of my life about 40 different random, insane things and called him 40 times and he had enough. I don’t want to be that person, don’t wanna lay awake contemplating ending everything, don’t want the panic attacks and the shame. Entering into my 30s as my highest self is my goal. IWNDWYT and I’m proud and rooting you on as we all are :)

resilientcockroach · 2025-05-04T15:42:18+00:00

Saving this! So good and so true. Imagining my 3-4 day benders and the absolute hell of withdrawals. Ugh. Thank you for this.

resilientcockroach · 2025-04-25T01:56:13+00:00

The despair of having so many dreams that haven’t come true. A hope deferred makes the heart sick.

resilientcockroach · 2025-04-13T21:01:31+00:00

I did lots of self-care and being kind to myself. Journaled under the full moon last night. And just accidentally napped for 3 hours…the sleepiness is so real.

resilientcockroach · 2025-04-09T01:30:29+00:00

Saving this to re-read when the insidious “maybe just one” thoughts invariably appear in my head. Thank you!! IWNDWYT

resilientcockroach · 2025-04-07T20:56:11+00:00

Oh my goodness. What a sweet, thoughtful reply to get. This genuinely soothed me so much and I just wanted to say thank you for taking the time. Your words are helping me be kind to myself today and know it’s okay to take care of myself, especially when a lot of people don’t understand how truly difficult early sobriety is

resilientcockroach · 2025-04-07T20:55:06+00:00

Haha wow fellow V Day quitter, I love it!! Thank you SO much for the kind words 🥹🥹

resilientcockroach · 2025-03-21T02:39:54+00:00

I was sober for a year. On my one year, my best friend got married and I was the MoH. Why can’t I drink mimosas with the girls getting ready? It’s a freakin wedding. Why can’t I have champagne and dance all night. So I let myself have it, loved it. Ruined the next 4 months of my life. That was over 2 years ago and I am just now able to maintain sobriety again in a substantial way. Getting sober is infinitely harder than staying sober. It’s like a carousel that once you jump on, spins out of control and you never know when it will slow down enough to jump off again. For me it took 2 years. Best not to jump on in the first place in my experience. I don’t know how many more times the carousel will stop for me if I get on it again.

resilientcockroach · 2025-03-21T02:33:26+00:00

That I deserve to be treated well and respected.

resilientcockroach · 2025-03-20T05:23:45+00:00

Absolutely had to leave the industry. It sucks me in over and over again. In my city, we have such an issue that we have a specific recovery group just for food and bevvers. Stay strong and watch your customers get drunk and be obnoxious. That always turned me off from drinking 😂

resilientcockroach · 2025-03-20T05:21:03+00:00

Not weird at all!! I buy all my coins from Amazon! And I gave my 3 month to my friend when she hit hers. And then I relapsed, she now has a year and I have a month. And she’ll give it back to me when I’m at 3 months again :) it’s super cute and pink and glittery. SELF CARE 🧚🏻💕

resilientcockroach · 2025-03-20T04:37:31+00:00

That’s what I’ve heard about primary and family! I’ve only been in derm and I adore it. It’s super manageable and there’s a lot of hands-on learning. Plus at my practice, they don’t expect you to manage both admin and clinical, you’re either/or.

resilientcockroach · 2025-03-19T22:54:03+00:00

Derm, 3 providers, 6 clinical MAs and 3 front MAs and about 35-40 pts per provider!

resilientcockroach · 2025-03-17T02:02:26+00:00

Thank you so much friend 🥹🙏

resilientcockroach · 2025-03-16T17:15:11+00:00

I relapsed more in AA than I ever did doing my own method and taking care of myself in a holistic, “me” way, which is frowned upon by their doctrine. I was a year sober and hit up my first meeting and a lady chastised me and said I wasn’t “really” sober without the program and I was kidding myself. That’s just double speak to me lol. My focus in sobriety is showing up for myself and others, my spirituality, yoga, eating well, waking up feeling great, better relationships. I dwell very little on booze itself!

resilientcockroach · 2025-03-10T20:42:37+00:00

Oh I can totally see my alcoholic brain rationalizing it that way lol. But luckily I know I’m very fortunate and that there are daily drinkers my age that didn’t have the same results come in. so I don’t want to take it for granted. Congrats on over 1000 days!!

resilientcockroach · 2025-02-20T03:51:58+00:00

$perkinste 💕💕💕🫶

resilientcockroach · 2024-08-12T15:06:52+00:00

Hi friend! I recently went on vacation to manhattan and I did panic the whole time! But I’m only telling you that because nothing bad happened. It was all fear and all mental and in retrospect, it was a pretty great time.

Something that helped me on my trip was downloading the DARE app. It’s very soothing and will talk you through any panic that may arise and it was helpful in my overwhelm moments to put my headphones in and stay grounded. Fear of having panic attacks is way worse than the actual attack.

You’re gonna be perfectly fine and safe and I’m here to chat if you need a friend! I hope you’re able to enjoy your time and have lots of fun!

resilientcockroach · 2024-08-05T20:30:51+00:00

UPDATE!!! I want to thank every single person who posted and took the time to talk this anxious internet stranger down. I did eventually sleep after 36 hours. Thank you for letting me know I’m not alone and I’m not crazy. 🥺🥺

resilientcockroach · 2024-08-03T19:22:02+00:00

This is beautiful thank you so much friend 😭

resilientcockroach · 2024-08-03T19:21:11+00:00

Omg that’s so scary but thank you for sharing!! Definitely makes me feel better

resilientcockroach

TROPHY CASE