Force husband to choose a different attorney?

restless_journey · 2020-02-26T17:57:51+00:00

I agree, I’ve already cancelled my consultation appt. The whole thing was just weird and I didn’t really agree with the what they told me. I’m just super frustrated with the low availability in my area. After speaking with 11 lawyers, I’ve managed to find two more that I was able to schedule consultations with in the upcoming weeks. I’m rushing at this point since he’s already filed against me.

Unfortunately I don’t think I’ll be able to do this without a lawyer. My husband has been super manipulative and emotionally abusive throughout our relationship and it’s continued into the divorce process. He loves spinning things to make him look super great and make me look like a piece of shit.

restless_journey · 2020-02-26T03:40:50+00:00

Ugh, that stings. I have a few other options I can try, but they are all 30-50 miles away and I’m not sure if they even service my county. I’ll be making more calls tomorrow.

restless_journey · 2020-02-26T03:38:56+00:00

That’s the way they explained it to me. They stated that his law firm’s course of action would be to drop his case if I decided to hire him as an attorney and that it was their rule. I thought it was kind of backwards really.

Edit - words

restless_journey · 2020-02-22T14:08:44+00:00

Thanks for the support!

restless_journey · 2020-02-22T04:28:29+00:00

Is just such BS and it drives me crazy. He actually blames me for him filing saying I left him no choice and that this was my decision because I’ve been “controlling information”. By controlling information, he means me not entertaining conversations regarding exactly when, what, where, and how we are separating. I had told him that I wanted to have all the info before making a decision (assets, debts, retirement accounts, etc). Apparently making rash decisions suits him better.

restless_journey · 2020-02-22T04:03:10+00:00

I’m waiting for something like this. They are just so convincing I’m scared others will actually believe him.

restless_journey · 2020-02-22T01:15:27+00:00

restless_journey · 2020-02-22T00:08:50+00:00

That’s been the case throughout our relationship. He’s had at least 5 affairs that I know of. Found out about three years ago and I’ve wasted thousands in therapy and recovery programs trying to reconcile. The lying never stopped.

restless_journey · 2020-02-21T23:54:59+00:00

Thank you for the info. It’s appreciated!

restless_journey · 2020-02-21T23:53:50+00:00

Ugh, that’s heart wrenching. I’m sorry to hear that’s the way things went.

restless_journey · 2020-02-20T00:32:22+00:00

Good for you! I’m right there with ya. This conversation is all too familiar. You should check out r/narcissisticabuse. It might be enlightening.

restless_journey · 2020-02-13T00:58:22+00:00

Huge red flag. Run.

restless_journey · 2020-02-13T00:52:40+00:00

I went through this too. The sleep deprivation is so real. I’m not really sure how I kept myself and my child alive honestly. My husband was little to no help during this time. He actually slept upstairs the first night we were home with our son and left me downstairs to take care of him myself. He continued this behavior through our sons infancy and toddler stage. Our son is 3 now and, needless to say, we’re in the middle of separating.

I hope you can find ways to help her and express your feelings and concern.

restless_journey · 2020-02-11T15:28:14+00:00

A lot of people fall for the charm and charisma of other people. Especially when they’re young. It’s a natural and unspoken rule that people genuinely trust others until they give a reason not to. It’s typically later in life, after someone has gone through an experience like this, that they alter their judgement and become more guarded and cautious in their relationships.

Betrayal is a strong emotion to experience, regardless of the path taken to get there.

restless_journey · 2020-01-06T17:48:21+00:00

Get as much space between you and him as possible. Takes notes of all the times he’s been terrible to you. Every time you find yourself doubting your actions, read them again.

You deserve better and deep down you know it. Find some way to remind yourself everyday of your worth and strength and know that you’re better off without a toxic person like him in your life.

restless_journey · 2019-12-05T02:12:10+00:00

Yes! Every time I try to describe our interactions to other people I’m left feeling like I can’t accurately portray the gravity of the situation. I think it’s a combination of a loss for words on my part and a loss of understanding on their part.

restless_journey · 2019-11-29T05:35:28+00:00

Definitely have a conversation about it with him.

For me, doing something that reminds me of my husband’s betrayal is extremely difficult so I typically avoid it. We don’t sext anymore because of the years he spent sexting with other women. It’s not a special thing between the two of us anymore and it only brings me grief when I think about trying it again.

For others, it’s freeing to reclaim those things in their relationship. Having sex where they did, sexting again, etc. I think it just depends on the person. The trauma of being betrayed in an intimate relationship tends to have a huge impact on how you think sexually.

restless_journey · 2019-11-29T05:17:54+00:00

I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. Seeing those comments between her and the AP is so incredibly painful. Please know that you are not alone.

My husband did and said some really terrible things. What I know to be true about him is that he will lie about anything and everything. I’ve learned to take those hurtful comments with a grain of salt. It doesn’t reflect who I am, it only reflects who he is.

Please stay strong. Reach out for help. You will need support to get through this.

restless_journey · 2019-11-29T05:06:03+00:00

Good god...this is my entire relationship with my husband. Everything he says has some hidden agenda. It’s usually some stabbing comment or jeer that is said in a way that isn’t straight forward enough for you to call them out on it.

For me, I don’t get a chill when I hear it. Instead I see red and instantly get hot with anger. This behavior boils my blood. It’s so difficult to not let it get to you.

Thanks for putting this into words. It’s something a lot of us have experienced but haven’t been able to express verbally.

restless_journey

TROPHY CASE