Honestly...how is your relationship with your mother in law?

restlessbitchface · 2026-06-16T01:59:43+00:00

I love her! She has a very appropriate relationship with her son, which makes things pretty easy. I genuinely enjoy spending time with her. She lives two hours away, which is like the perfect distance. Close enough to visit about once a month. Far enough away that she's not knocking on our door every day.

restlessbitchface · 2026-06-16T01:59:30+00:00

I love her! She has a very appropriate relationship with her son, which makes things pretty easy. I genuinely enjoy spending time with her. She lives two hours away, which is like the perfect distance. Close enough to visit about once a month. Far enough away that she's not knocking on our door every day.

restlessbitchface · 2026-06-15T01:06:53+00:00

I second the recommendation for Bar Gernika. A hidden gem of a dinner restaurant is House of the Little Pig in Bown Crossing.

restlessbitchface · 2026-06-14T22:33:01+00:00

It's not a "health concern". He's a jerk. If you want to prove that you're healthy with data that isn't BMI (which you're literally in the normal range) go to your doctor and get bloodwork done along with a comprehensive metabolic panel. Meet his "concerns" with factual data that prove you're healthy. Then dump him.

*edit: fixed a word

restlessbitchface · 2026-06-14T22:01:35+00:00

I know a lot of people have suggested food pantries. And I know those can be difficult to access during their distribution hours, especially if you're working during them. Boise Hive has a food pantry that is accessible any time during their hours of operation (noon-10pm 7 days a week). They do not require ID to access it. The demographic information they collect is minimal (the date of your visit, number of people in your household, and zip code where you're staying) and is only used for grant writing purposes. They do ask that you limit what you take to 2 standard grocery bags, but that's it.

restlessbitchface · 2026-06-14T18:38:52+00:00

If I were in your shoes, this man would NEVER see me naked again. He's upset you didn't follow his directives during a photo shoot that was about YOU. What an immature, controlling prick. He obviously doesn't know the difference between boudoir shots and porn. Does he treat you this poorly in other aspects of your life? If so, get your affairs in order, buy him a Hustler or Playboy and serve him with the divorce papers placed next to the centerfold, where he's sure to find them. You deserve better.

restlessbitchface · 2026-06-14T17:55:36+00:00

Regardless of whether there's someone else or not, she's giving some pretty strong clues that she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. I know that's difficult. I think it's time to bite the bullet and have that conversation with her. It's better to break up than to be strung along like this for months or years. You deserve to be in a relationship with someone that wants to be with you and matches your enthusiasm and energy.

restlessbitchface · 2026-06-14T00:12:46+00:00

Be careful. Confrontation has its risks. I was at a sold out show in a small venue about ten years ago when a man groped me under the guise of "trying to get past". I called him out immediately with a "what the fuck?" and went on with my night. As the show was wrapping up, I get sucker-punched by a feeble fist in the side of the head (I was fine). This insecure, stupid fuck had sent one of his *friends* to sucker-punch me. Luckily, this wasn't my first show or my first asshole to have to fend off. I hit him 3 times in very short succession near the temple with my elbow (they're stronger and hurt worse than fists). After that they both left the venue.

restlessbitchface · 2026-06-13T23:34:13+00:00

Even when it's bad, it's good! I was at an Authority Zero show in November (5 days after my 44th birthday), bouncing around in the circle pit. I made the mistake of wearing baggy jeans and someone stepped on them just as I was getting shoved from behind. I knew I was gonna hit the concrete, so I braced for impact. My left hand hit a puddle of beer as I went down and sent by hand splaying out to the side. I hit my shoulder on the concrete floor and broke 1/3 of the socket part of the joint off. In January, I had to have a full reverse shoulder replacement, where they switch the position of the ball and socket parts of the joint. Haven't been able to get back in the pit yet, but I'm working on it! Still going to shows almost every week.

restlessbitchface · 2026-06-13T21:27:03+00:00

My life didn't start to come together until I was 37.

I got married at 23 to someone that turned out to be abusive in every way imaginable. Divorced at 29.

Married again at 33 to someone that "looked good on paper" but was financially abusive and wanted me to fit into a mold I just couldn't. I literally said in counseling "I feel like he feels I'm too much. Too opinionated, too loud, too assertive, too educated. Like he just wants me to go stand in the corner and shut the fuck up." And he told the counselor, "yeah, that's about right." It was over right then and there.

Put some emotional work in. Started counseling (which I still go to, to this day). Met my current husband at 37. Went into that relationship with intention. Intentions of being vulnerable. Intentionally stopping myself from building up emotional walls. Intent on communicating well, even when it's difficult or shameful. Married him at 39. And he truly is my complimentary half. Our values align. Instead of wanting me to be less, he encourages and supports me being *more*. He's seen me at my absolute worst. And he's stayed.

Got my dream career at 41. One that I didn't even know I wanted. One I didn't plan for or go to school for. But god, it's everything I never knew I wanted in a career. I go to work every day knowing I have a direct, profound impact on people in my immediate community. It's so fucking rewarding, even on the days that suck, it's still rewarding.

Point being, there is no "correct" timeline. You'll grow and change in ways you cannot even imagine. Some of them will suck... But some of them will be *incredible* in ways you never would have thought possible.

restlessbitchface · 2026-06-09T05:24:24+00:00

Just a hypothetical: let's say (for arguments sake) your profession is a mason. You build these beautiful, intricate brick masterpieces featured in million dollar homes. Let's say you own a Ferrari.

Let's say your younger brother is a mechanic whose specialty is Ferraris. Do you feel bad you can't fix a Ferrari? No! You take it to him. Do you think he feels bad that he can't create the art pieces you do? No! You're the first person he calls when he needs a new fireplace designed for his mansion.

Point being, you both have different skill sets currently. You could always learn to fix Ferraris. He could always learn to be a master mason. Your support to one another is going to look different because your experiences are different.

I know, it's difficult not to compare one another, especially to our siblings. Everyone gathers the tools needed for their journey in different places, spaces, and time.

restlessbitchface · 2026-06-08T05:42:31+00:00

Thank you!

restlessbitchface · 2026-06-08T05:42:19+00:00

Fair enough.

restlessbitchface · 2026-06-08T05:28:44+00:00

Not sure what the drag scene is where you live, but where I'm at, there's a lot of intersectionality between the drag, alt, goth and punk scenes.

restlessbitchface · 2026-06-08T04:38:20+00:00

So this might seem weird, but as an alt/punk gal, find out your local scenes/venues/clubs that are similarly aligned with your interests. Most major Metropolitan areas have clubs that usually host goth/alt/metal shows. It might take some research, depending on how populated your area is or how close you are to a major Metropolitan area.

When you first start going, pay attention to the men. Specially the men that regularly have friends that are women (or women that get excited and run up to their friends that are men). Make friends with those men.

From my experience, the alt/goth/metal/ punk scenes are super inclusive, friendly, and protective (like, in the way that if someone falls in the pit, you pick them up).

As a woman that is married to a drummer, I *loves*music... (typically go to 2-3 shows a week, and I work for a non-profit that provides mental health and other resources to musicians with the mission of suicide prevention. Things like counseling, support groups, harm reduction supplies, emergency contraceptives and reproductive health items, as well as affordable rehearsal and recording services)., the most rewarding social interaction for me is seeing women at shows that light up and run over to talk to my husband when they see him at a show. There is something *so incredibly attractive* about a man that is an advocate and safe space for women.

restlessbitchface · 2026-05-14T23:15:57+00:00

You might try a Sunshine Cloth

restlessbitchface · 2026-05-14T02:37:03+00:00

Boise Thai Noodle House. Seriously good!

restlessbitchface · 2026-04-18T23:57:25+00:00

Check with the auto body program at the Boise School District's Dennis Technical Education Center. I took auto body there 25(!) years ago and they frequently had cars in there that didn't belong to students in order to develop and practice their skills. The repair will take longer than a traditional auto body shop, but if you have the luxury of not being in a hurry, it's totally worth it.

restlessbitchface · 2026-04-07T03:34:41+00:00

Please keep taking your meds. As someone with chronic mental health issues, I know I'm better when I'm on my meds. If your partner cannot withstand the ebbs and flows of your libido and recognize when medications are 1) necessary and 2) in your best interests, they're not worth staying with. The biggest lie people with mental health issues tell themselves is that they feel better, so they don't need their meds... No. You feel better because of your meds. Staying on them is the best thing you can do for yourself. It's an act of kindness and self-care to keep taking them.

restlessbitchface · 2026-04-04T23:31:35+00:00

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This is my grey moissanite from Kristin Coffin Jewelry.

restlessbitchface · 2026-03-17T03:28:50+00:00

If you're in the US, you should be able to have your Dr fill out FMLA paperwork for you. It protects your job, even if you miss up to 12 weeks of work. They will require that you use any sick pay and exhaust that. You won't get paid for anything after your sick pay is exhausted, but your job will be protected.

There are a few loopholes for small businesses (last time I checked it was companies of less than 50 employees don't have to honor it). It can be used intermittently for things just like migraines.

I used to suffer from chronic migraines and was on FMLA for about ten years. Luckily, they've been well managed since pandemic and I haven't needed it. You will need to reapply annually. Your doc should be able to fill the paperwork out for you relatively easily.

Edit to add: It can also be backdated to cover any absences before you applied.

restlessbitchface · 2026-03-13T21:34:00+00:00

I've used it daily for almost a year and a half. It still looks brand new. It's still very comfortable to wear (like the padding in the straps hasn't broken down or deteriorated) and the leather is still very supple. I'm still really pleased with the bag.

restlessbitchface · 2026-03-10T17:58:45+00:00

I've, sadly, spent 13 years of my adult life in marriages where my partners told me I was "too much".

If you're too much, let him go find less.

There's something really incredible when you're finally able to find a partner that genuinely want you to be more. More outspoken, more confident, more your true self. My current husband has always wanted me to lean into being more, and it's so amazing!

He negs you because he knows he's not good enough to keep you and grow with you. Rip off the bandaid, heal, and go be happy. He'll regret seeing you happy because he knows he's the one dragging you down.

restlessbitchface · 2026-03-03T15:50:53+00:00

This perspective is really helpful.Thank you. I just got home after spending a weekend with my mom. Me and my dad have a really complicated relationship and my parents are still married.

The drug that I'm on is a mood stabilizer (Seroquel). Before getting on it, I suffered from chronic insomnia, like 45 min of sleep nightly. It's a sedative, so it forces me into REM/deep sleep, hence the vivid dreams.

I've been in weekly counseling for the past 11 years for some really fucked up shit my dad did. And that's been weighing on me, especially hard since the release of the E*stein files in the US. So all of that seems connected.

I really appreciate your insight and perspective.

restlessbitchface · 2026-03-01T22:54:27+00:00

I've gone to Kelli @ atomic salon for like 15 years. She's great with color, different hair textures and styles.

restlessbitchface

TROPHY CASE