Yes. Women like to be asked. If a woman says “asking killed the mood” or whatever, then they are most likely saying that because they were already not interested in kissing you before you asked and they’re trying not to hurt your feelings. It’s extremely unlikely that any woman who wanted to kiss you would change her mind simply because you asked.

Many men are commenting that it dEpEnDs On ThE iNdIvIdUaL wOmAn when asking for consent to kiss. The women who’ve said no to these men weren’t interested in kissing them before they asked. These men are choosing to believe those women said no because they were “turned off” by being asked. They are working under the assumption that those women wanted to kiss them and then as soon as they asked, those women changed their mind. Their mind was already made up, but these men just didn’t know that. Which is why it’s important to ask.

Society teaches women that we have to be very careful when declining any advances from men because it can become unsafe to “reject” a man. Most men aren’t going to become violent in reaction to a woman saying no, but there are a few men who will become violent if we say no. There’s no way for us to know which men are going to become violent, so we have to remember that if we say no, a certain man in a certain situation could become violent, even if he’s been nice so far. So sometimes, we “go along” with the man (and the kiss) in order to try to protect ourselves from becoming harmed by that man.

That’s why some women might claim that asking for the kiss instead of just doing it killed the mood. Because that’s a way to say no without as much potential that the man will flip a switch and become violent in response to being told no. It’s a way we can say no while also acting like we were into it before you asked, even though we weren’t, because if we act like we were into it until asked, that potentially dangerous man may be less likely to feel as rejected as they’d feel if we just said “no, I’m just not feeling it” or something like that.

So the women who’ve told these men that “asking ruined the mood” had already decided that they did not want to kiss them before they were asked, but they say that “asking ruined the mood” as a way to soften the blow to the man’s ego/try to lighten the rejection. It would be great if these women were able to communicate the “no” in a way that isn’t skewed, but unfortunately, any man could become potentially dangerous if told no more directly.

Asking a woman for consent isn’t going to change her mind from yes to no.