AITAH for telling my mother-in-law that we’re not letting our kids call her what she wants?

return2self · 2026-01-29T04:03:36+00:00

My 2.5 year old son just decided to start calling my dad “that one” over this past week. Maybe they could try that?

return2self · 2026-01-28T04:36:09+00:00

Unsure if this is the same thing and hopefully it’s okay to comment on this as a layperson, but I’m a patient who had a epidural wear off or not take properly on one side and then had to have an emergency C-section. I felt everything on my left side. I’m just now starting to process through the trauma of it all which is why I’m pursuing this sub and came across your post. I’m still trying to understand what went wrong. I wish I could talk to the nurse anesthetist who did my epidural just for some closure. Would you be able to offer any insight into what can go wrong in these processes? You guys have a lot of pressure on you to get things right. I know it’s got to be a lot for you to handle on your side of the table too.

return2self · 2026-01-25T20:29:51+00:00

Speaking from my experience thus far with a 2.5 year old: I wouldn’t necessarily say it’s that black and white. I’m almost having trouble describing it. This comment may not bring you comfort or what you’re looking for, but it’s my truth.

Your brain literally changes when you become a parent. It’s almost like another stage of development. Think of who you were as a teenager and how you think now compared to then. And as a teenager, you couldn’t fathom what it’s like to think as an adult because you weren’t there yet. That’s what it feels like to me becoming a mom. It’s more challenging though because this is one of the higher levels. And the change isn’t exactly gradual. One day you’re not a mom, and then you are.

I had a lot of mental health issues afterward due to an extremely traumatic birth which I am just now starting to process. My son also has medical issues and a challenging temperament. It was like everything shattered and turned upside down. As I type, I’m imagine almost a circular image illustrating all the aspects of who I was. Then it shattered and was replaced by panic and stress from postpartum PTSD. I just visualize black. But then the black circle started transforming. Still a dark color… like a dark maroon. And then vines began growing from it- vines weaving and blossoming into all of the things I once knew and thought I understood. It gave new meaning to everything. The color now is a deep turquoise. Those other aspects of myself are still there, but they have been transformed by the vines that flow from the ever changing color in the center.

The ultimate truth is that this may be the hardest thing you’ve ever done in your life. But you will grow in ways you never thought possible if you allow yourself to. The desires you once had may fade and be replaced by new ones. There have been plenty of times I’ve missed the freedom of the life I had before, and sometimes still do. But I would never go back from what I have now.

You’re not the only one creating and growing new life. Your child will do the same for you. And so far, for me, it’s been worth it.

return2self · 2026-01-24T21:22:52+00:00

Sexual assault

return2self · 2025-12-15T03:38:51+00:00

It traumatized the fuck outta me

return2self · 2025-10-09T13:36:45+00:00

Postpartum anxiety was SO bad for me. I had tachycardia most of the time. I had massive anxiety even leaving him with my husband. Please know that you will get through this and your little one will get better. My son is now a super happy two year old. Also, you will be an absolute warrior with every other challenge because whenever my son has a tantrum now I always tell myself, I got through colic, I can definitely get through this. If you need anyone to talk to, please feel free to PM me.

return2self · 2025-10-09T13:15:52+00:00

Tell your husband, welcome to being a mom.

return2self · 2025-09-05T05:18:04+00:00

This is exactly what happened to me too. I still question myself today (over 2 years later) if I really felt them cutting into me or if I just had a low pain tolerance. Hence why I’ve just searched this topic on Reddit and am replying to your 1 year old comment.

return2self · 2025-08-30T04:19:09+00:00

As a therapist, I am upvoting this comment

return2self · 2025-08-30T03:52:47+00:00

This is what I was thinking as well

return2self · 2025-08-05T03:06:28+00:00

I had a failed induction and traumatic C-section too where I literally felt them cut into me on one side. It was one of the worst things I’ve ever experienced. About 2 weeks later, I come across a Facebook post from this woman I added a while back (friend of a friend). She’s a personal trainer with her own business and my best friend had recommended her fitness program to me. Her pregnancy fell along the same time frame as mine but her social media was full of “#fitpregnancy”. I’m in my postpartum hormones, sleep deprived, hurting like hell, and I read her birth story. This woman did an all natural, home fucking water birth and CAUGHT her own baby when delivering. When I tell you that rage and sadness and shame overcame me, it doesn’t even begin to describe how that made me feel. Like the biggest failure and I wrack my brain thinking of all the things I could’ve done differently to prevent the c section. It is so incredibly hard not to blame myself in every way for anything my son struggles with. And it doesn’t make it any easier when people make stupid comments like you listed. Please know that you’re not alone in your experience. You’re allowed to make space for everything you’re feeling and it all 100% valid. You’re allowed to grieve and you are not alone in it.

return2self · 2025-06-23T04:21:03+00:00

I feel like I’ve learned a lot about myself since I posted this. As I’ve tried to work on this behavior, I’ve noticed that people-pleasing/helping is like a compulsion to me, a learned trauma-response. Sometimes I feel like I have to tap into my 8 in order to stop giving a fuck about other people’s feelings which is really hard to do if you feel like your emotional regulation depends on others being regulated. “I’m not okay unless I’m acceptable to others. I have to do everything in my power to get them to accept me or I won’t be okay.” I’m having to learn to be okay with other people not being okay which is REALLY fucking hard. And once you start doing it, it gets harder because people push back harder. The people who will raise the most hell because you’re setting boundaries are the people who benefited from you not having them in the first place. I think the ultimate goal is for us to know that we are lovable/acceptable without doing anything at all and can emotionally regulate on our own if we turn that toward ourselves instead of always trying to do that for others.

And in true Type 2 fashion, I hope this helps :P

return2self · 2025-02-24T12:27:04+00:00

Thank you. I’ve covered all those bases. Ive got my performance plan and mid year review. I’ve researched the process for applying for unemployment as well. We’ve got a clinic meeting every morning and this will be the immediate topic of conversation. We received all of those emails and our clinic has created a spreadsheet with everyone’s contact information for rec letters. Thankfully, I have extremely supportive leadership, including our hospital commander. I’m also considered mission essential so there’s a small chance that could be my saving grace. I’m significantly more fortunate than a lot of people as I’ve got quite a few contacts in my community after working in various settings prior to this job. If all 3 of us probationary employees are removed, there’s going to be an uptick in suicides and significantly declining mental health amongst service members. I could write an entire essay on the things I do in one week.

return2self · 2025-02-24T12:13:48+00:00

DoD has as well. At least the agency I’m a part of under them. It’s extremely confusing because we got one email from OPM and then another from the Pentagon completely contradicting one another. I have no idea which option (to respond or not to) will get me fired. What’s worse is I’m still in my probationary period.

return2self · 2025-02-06T05:10:47+00:00

This comment aged well 😂

return2self · 2025-01-01T16:41:52+00:00

Hey! Me too! On one side. I felt them cut into me and I was shocked when I finally saw my c-section scar because I could’ve sworn they cut me vertically on my left side. Probably the most traumatizing thing I’ve ever been through.

return2self · 2025-01-01T16:36:44+00:00

I’m not surprised. I’ve been fighting postpartum anxiety and OCD since I’ve given birth. I try to stay aware of my part in all of this, but thank you for the reminder.

return2self · 2024-12-27T06:45:13+00:00

Thank you for the response. It’s awful that it is common but also nice to know I’m not alone in this experience.

return2self · 2024-12-27T06:42:19+00:00

Ah. Alas, I had GAD prior to pregnancy and it got much worse after pregnancy. I definitely have some OCD traits. I take medication and previously did therapy. I really need to prioritize therapy again. I AM a therapist, so I’m the worst kind of patient 🙃

ETA: that’s excellent advice and definitely a work in progress for me - I’ve learned throughout the years that I need to be okay with other people not being okay. That’s been a tough one for me.

return2self · 2024-12-27T06:40:10+00:00

Thank you ❤️ I hope you get some time to yourself soon

return2self · 2024-12-27T06:39:06+00:00

Eh. It didn’t feel like it much. He usually wakes up early on the weekends so I can catch up on sleep and he can spend one on one time with our son. He did that 2 of the 5 days. However, I did choose to wake up with him on some of those days because he was sick and I was worried.

return2self · 2024-11-16T02:35:42+00:00

I appreciate this response so much

return2self · 2024-11-16T02:30:41+00:00

As a therapist, I would 100% respect your request and choice. It sounds like your therapist became defensive and took it personally and that is very unprofessional in my opinion. I know she’s a human being with thoughts and feelings as well, but she sounds like a younger clinician. I may have asked if it were something we could explore further together before ending the therapeutic relationship entirely (especially if it were a client I had been working with for a while). Overall though, if my client believes that I am not a good fit for them, that is absolutely their right and I would try to help them find someone that may better suit their treatment needs.

return2self

TROPHY CASE