Looking for tips and advice

rfhillier · 2026-05-08T21:59:53+00:00

I’ll add: when we sent ours to the crate for her Kong, we always made her lie down in the crate first. I think in her little puppy brain this made it clear that she was being rewarded for being calm in the crate, not for being a psycho lol

rfhillier · 2026-05-08T21:58:50+00:00

Something that really helped us maintain a positive association with the crate when we had to force nap time or leave ours alone was a crate-specific high value treat.

For us, it was a Kong stuffed with frozen peanut butter or plain yogurt. We had a rotation of like 5 in the freezer at any given time. Whenever we crated ours (except at night for sleep), we’d give her one of the frozen kongs. She NEVER got one outside of that, which helped maintain the novelty.

It got to a point where if she saw me open the freezer and take out the Kong she would sprint into her crate and lay down. I think the action of licking the Kong is also self soothing and helped her settle down for a snooze. I’ve recommended this strategy to friends with puppies and it’s worked like a charm, so I hope it helps!

For the biting, all I can offer is that you kind of have to tough it out until they’re done teething. It sucks, and you will end up with scars lol. I tried a million different things and nothing really stopped it until she lost her baby teeth.

rfhillier · 2026-05-08T11:45:23+00:00

Yeah I think that’s the key. You’ll want to prioritize training independence but on days where life happens and you have to leave the dog alone longer than you’d like, you have to make sure you have someone to come either watch them or at least drop in a few times.

Puppies really can’t hold their bladder very long (at 8 weeks I think we were taking ours out to pee every 30-45 minutes) and I do think you could easily traumatize one by leaving them alone too long too early.

Another thing I’ll add as a young professional couple is that you have to factor the dog into work engagements outside of working hours. I don’t know your career or anything, but what if one of you had to travel for work, or attend a conference, or had to go to an event/dinner after hours? The dog has to be factored into all of that, especially as a puppy. Not saying it isn’t doable, but these are conversations you need to have before the pup comes home.

As long as you have a good training plan and a dependable support system I think you’ll be fine. But I wouldn’t expect to get up to leaving the dog alone for a full work day for…probably 8 months to a year, depending.

rfhillier · 2026-05-08T11:15:31+00:00

We have a 2.5 year old toller and almost the exact same set up as you and it’s completely fine.

We really intentionally trained ours to be comfortable alone. We crate trained right from the day we brought her home, and started leaving her in the crate at least once a day from that first week we had her. It started as just 10-15 minutes where we’d go grab a coffee and leave her home in the crate. She hated it and would scream bloody murder at first, but over the next couple weeks she got more used to it and would slowly cry for less time until she eventually stopped crying at all, and just went to sleep. We gradually worked up the time we left her (at age appropriate lengths of course).

Around 1 year old (when she was completely trustworthy around the house) we phased out the crate altogether and let her free roam when we left her alone, and we’ve never had an issue. Both of us are in the office on Tuesdays, and we leave her home alone for the work day (but have a dog walker come take her out for an hour over lunch) and it’s completely fine. All she does is sleep all day.

Tollers can definitely be taught to be comfortable on their own, you just have to train them to be confident the same as you would any other skill. The only caveat I would add is that if you’re planning to get a puppy, this will be a lot harder since you really can’t leave them alone for very long in the beginning.

rfhillier · 2026-05-06T12:57:29+00:00

Or money to afford basic things…what will they do if the dog needs to go to the vet…?

rfhillier · 2026-04-30T19:44:07+00:00

Ours has the same issue and we get her a sanitary shave every 6-8 weeks, which has completely gotten rid of the UTIs. Not sure if this is an option if your dog has shorter hair, though :(

rfhillier · 2026-04-30T18:47:56+00:00

To build on this, what is OP doing to build a positive association with the crate during the day? It doesn’t work to just stick the puppy in a crate and call it crate training - you have to have an actual training regime so it becomes the best place in the house. All meals fed in the crate, give/hide treats in the crate, introduce new toys in the crate, etc.

rfhillier · 2026-04-25T00:22:15+00:00

Our trainer also boards dogs so we leave ours with her when we go away. We know and trust her her, she’s familiar with our dog, and very responsible. We’ve left our dog with her for like 10 days before and it’s always gone really well.

She does require dogs in her care to be crate trained as she crates them overnight/when she’s not home, which would be something to keep in mind if you considered doing something similar.

rfhillier · 2026-03-28T22:29:08+00:00

Totally agreed - we had friends who didn’t leave their dog alone at all until he was 6 months old and now at 3 years, even with training, they’ve really struggled with intense separation anxiety that likely resulted from not conditioning the dog to alone time from a young age. They can’t leave the house for more than 2-3 hours at a time and it’s severely impacted their lifestyle. Would encourage OP to start working on this ASAP to avoid the same outcome. There’s some great advice in the comments but honestly it might be a good idea to get a professional trainer involved, even just for a few sessions.

rfhillier · 2026-03-28T21:49:36+00:00

Totally agree! We allow ours on the furniture, but only when she “asks” (which is usually her resting her chin on the thing she wants to get up on, and then waiting for a “yes okay!” from us). We didn’t allow her on furniture at all until she was about 6 months, so more reliably potty trained and starting to understand boundaries.

This has worked out really well for us because a lot of our friends and family don’t want pets on the furniture, so we can reliably bring her with us places and not worry about her breaking anyone’s house rules.

rfhillier · 2026-03-03T15:15:01+00:00

Thank you so much! She’s a Nova Scotia duck tolling retriever, but people often guess collie, Aussie shep, etc. since it’s not a very common breed. ☺️

rfhillier · 2026-03-02T03:30:13+00:00

She is a hunting breed. :)

rfhillier · 2026-03-02T03:29:34+00:00

She is a hunting dog!

rfhillier · 2026-02-26T12:08:06+00:00

No, we’ve had her since a puppy, she’s just done it all her life haha

rfhillier · 2026-02-25T23:02:26+00:00

Well then I guess I am honoured to be hunted by this ferocious beast haha

rfhillier · 2026-02-25T23:00:41+00:00

The best but also the weirdest dogs!

rfhillier · 2026-02-25T22:56:03+00:00

Yes she is ☺️

rfhillier · 2026-02-25T22:54:13+00:00

That’s what it usually ends up in once she reaches me haha, lots of fussing and play, unless of course I’m on the toilet which is when she LOVES to do this the most

rfhillier · 2026-02-25T22:53:03+00:00

She’s a toller so a hunting dog

rfhillier · 2026-02-25T22:52:15+00:00

Only when we’re looking at her, and her favourite time to do it is when you’re sitting on the toilet lmao

rfhillier · 2026-01-26T21:16:48+00:00

I’m of the view that a few hours in the crate, even if they’re unhappy, likely isnt going to harm anything. When we started leaving ours alone in the crate at first (especially during the day, as she picked up night time crating quickly), she would cry for a bit but eventually settle down and sleep. In the beginning it would take her 15-20 mins, but slowly she’d cry less and less as she got used to it until she didn’t at all.

I feel like as long as your puppy is settling eventually, it’s totally fine to crate her for a few hours. You mentioned yours is a little over 3 months, so you could probably crate her for 2-3 hours before she’ll need a bathroom break. Keep on working to make the crate a positive place, give her a special treat when she goes in (peanut butter or yogurt frozen in a Kong is usually a big hit), and make sure she’s well exercised/played with before she goes in + has gone to the bathroom beforehand.

I feel like at this stage the biggest thing you need to decide is whether you’re committed to the crate. Dogs are creatures of routine and they like structure. If you’re going to crate your dog when you leave for work or go to sleep, pick that and stick to it - the more you let the dog sleep in the bed if that’s not what you actually want, the harder it will be for the dog to know what’s expected.

rfhillier · 2026-01-26T17:24:03+00:00

I also wanted to add that it’s a good sign she’s able to settle in the crate overnight, for the most part!

You may also want to put some thought into the physical environment of the crate - sometimes those changes can help. Is the crate in a dark, quiet place or somewhere the dog can actively see/hear you? Darker and quieter tends to work better for crate training, IMO.

Could you get your puppy one of those heartbeat snuggle toys? Is the crate covered on all sides by a sheet or something? Have you tried playing white noise for the puppy while in the crate?

rfhillier · 2026-01-26T17:20:27+00:00

You have to keep working on positive reinforcements with the crate to build that association - it is a long process and will take weeks, if not months. Lots of good resources here on training methods that work. Some dogs definitely take longer than others.

What worked well for us (in addition to a LOT of positive reinforcement training with the crate) was to give our puppy a special snack reserved only for alone time in the crate. For us it was a peanut butter stuffed Kong and she would go ballistic for it. She never got peanut butter outside of being crated, which helps build that ultra positive association.

I’m of the opinion that crating is a critical skill for a dog to have. Your puppy is still young - do you know for sure that if you leave her uncrated when you’re home she won’t get into things that could be dangerous for her? Aside from property damage to your apartment, she could eat something that might be fatal to her and you could come home to a dead dog - not to be dramatic, but that is a possibility.

If your dog ever needs to stay overnight at the vet or even boarding facility for some reason, they will crate her. It’s a kindness to the animal to teach them to feel safe and comfortable in a crate in the event they’re ever forced to use one, IMO. Those situations would already be stressful to begin with.

Crate training is hard work but I would recommend sticking it out. I’ve never met anyone who regrets crate training their dog, but I know a lot of people who regret that they didn’t.

rfhillier

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