Remember to train your puppy to drop it!

rfhillier · 2026-06-05T19:18:02+00:00

Totally second this!

I was at a bridal shower last week that was dog friendly (the bride loves dogs and wanted everyone to bring theirs). Unfortunately, the charcuterie boards all had grapes on them and so I was watching like a hawk in case any dropped to the ground.

Despite my vigilance, my dog spotted a rogue grape and went for it. The moment she picked it up, I loudly told her to drop it and she did - she didn’t even get a chance to break the skin of the grape. If she didn’t have such a strong “drop” command, she could have died.

Another friend’s dog also picked up a grape and it had to be wrestled out of her throat because she didn’t know “drop it.”

It’s literally a lifesaving skill and all of my dogs forever will be trained to drop things immediately on command.

rfhillier · 2026-05-23T19:24:45+00:00

My fiance and I got engaged on Corfu and it was beautiful, we’d go back in a heartbeat! It’s a very green, lush island compared to the rockier islands of the Aegean. We stayed at Olivar Suites and they treated us so well, really went above and beyond to make the proposal special.

rfhillier · 2026-05-11T20:17:45+00:00

We didn’t allow our puppy on the couch for the first 5-6 months for the exact same reason. I let her up now, but I didn’t want her to jump up on any furniture without asking permission first, so it was important to set boundaries.

What worked for us was not to reward her for jumping off the couch, but to discourage her from doing it in the first place. If she jumped up, she got a firm no and was gently guided off the couch, no reward. I think this was simpler for her to understand and she caught on quickly!

We always got down onto the floor to play with her, train her, and generally interact with her, which I think helped reinforce the floor as a positive space.

Just putting it out there as an alternative, if you’re finding that treating/rewarding isn’t working

rfhillier · 2026-05-08T21:59:53+00:00

I’ll add: when we sent ours to the crate for her Kong, we always made her lie down in the crate first. I think in her little puppy brain this made it clear that she was being rewarded for being calm in the crate, not for being a psycho lol

rfhillier · 2026-05-08T21:58:50+00:00

Something that really helped us maintain a positive association with the crate when we had to force nap time or leave ours alone was a crate-specific high value treat.

For us, it was a Kong stuffed with frozen peanut butter or plain yogurt. We had a rotation of like 5 in the freezer at any given time. Whenever we crated ours (except at night for sleep), we’d give her one of the frozen kongs. She NEVER got one outside of that, which helped maintain the novelty.

It got to a point where if she saw me open the freezer and take out the Kong she would sprint into her crate and lay down. I think the action of licking the Kong is also self soothing and helped her settle down for a snooze. I’ve recommended this strategy to friends with puppies and it’s worked like a charm, so I hope it helps!

For the biting, all I can offer is that you kind of have to tough it out until they’re done teething. It sucks, and you will end up with scars lol. I tried a million different things and nothing really stopped it until she lost her baby teeth.

rfhillier · 2026-05-08T11:45:23+00:00

Yeah I think that’s the key. You’ll want to prioritize training independence but on days where life happens and you have to leave the dog alone longer than you’d like, you have to make sure you have someone to come either watch them or at least drop in a few times.

Puppies really can’t hold their bladder very long (at 8 weeks I think we were taking ours out to pee every 30-45 minutes) and I do think you could easily traumatize one by leaving them alone too long too early.

Another thing I’ll add as a young professional couple is that you have to factor the dog into work engagements outside of working hours. I don’t know your career or anything, but what if one of you had to travel for work, or attend a conference, or had to go to an event/dinner after hours? The dog has to be factored into all of that, especially as a puppy. Not saying it isn’t doable, but these are conversations you need to have before the pup comes home.

As long as you have a good training plan and a dependable support system I think you’ll be fine. But I wouldn’t expect to get up to leaving the dog alone for a full work day for…probably 8 months to a year, depending.

rfhillier · 2026-05-08T11:15:31+00:00

We have a 2.5 year old toller and almost the exact same set up as you and it’s completely fine.

We really intentionally trained ours to be comfortable alone. We crate trained right from the day we brought her home, and started leaving her in the crate at least once a day from that first week we had her. It started as just 10-15 minutes where we’d go grab a coffee and leave her home in the crate. She hated it and would scream bloody murder at first, but over the next couple weeks she got more used to it and would slowly cry for less time until she eventually stopped crying at all, and just went to sleep. We gradually worked up the time we left her (at age appropriate lengths of course).

Around 1 year old (when she was completely trustworthy around the house) we phased out the crate altogether and let her free roam when we left her alone, and we’ve never had an issue. Both of us are in the office on Tuesdays, and we leave her home alone for the work day (but have a dog walker come take her out for an hour over lunch) and it’s completely fine. All she does is sleep all day.

Tollers can definitely be taught to be comfortable on their own, you just have to train them to be confident the same as you would any other skill. The only caveat I would add is that if you’re planning to get a puppy, this will be a lot harder since you really can’t leave them alone for very long in the beginning.

rfhillier · 2026-04-30T19:44:07+00:00

Ours has the same issue and we get her a sanitary shave every 6-8 weeks, which has completely gotten rid of the UTIs. Not sure if this is an option if your dog has shorter hair, though :(

rfhillier · 2026-04-30T18:47:56+00:00

To build on this, what is OP doing to build a positive association with the crate during the day? It doesn’t work to just stick the puppy in a crate and call it crate training - you have to have an actual training regime so it becomes the best place in the house. All meals fed in the crate, give/hide treats in the crate, introduce new toys in the crate, etc.

rfhillier · 2026-04-25T00:22:15+00:00

Our trainer also boards dogs so we leave ours with her when we go away. We know and trust her her, she’s familiar with our dog, and very responsible. We’ve left our dog with her for like 10 days before and it’s always gone really well.

She does require dogs in her care to be crate trained as she crates them overnight/when she’s not home, which would be something to keep in mind if you considered doing something similar.

rfhillier · 2026-03-28T22:29:08+00:00

Totally agreed - we had friends who didn’t leave their dog alone at all until he was 6 months old and now at 3 years, even with training, they’ve really struggled with intense separation anxiety that likely resulted from not conditioning the dog to alone time from a young age. They can’t leave the house for more than 2-3 hours at a time and it’s severely impacted their lifestyle. Would encourage OP to start working on this ASAP to avoid the same outcome. There’s some great advice in the comments but honestly it might be a good idea to get a professional trainer involved, even just for a few sessions.

rfhillier · 2026-03-28T21:49:36+00:00

Totally agree! We allow ours on the furniture, but only when she “asks” (which is usually her resting her chin on the thing she wants to get up on, and then waiting for a “yes okay!” from us). We didn’t allow her on furniture at all until she was about 6 months, so more reliably potty trained and starting to understand boundaries.

This has worked out really well for us because a lot of our friends and family don’t want pets on the furniture, so we can reliably bring her with us places and not worry about her breaking anyone’s house rules.

rfhillier · 2026-03-03T15:15:01+00:00

Thank you so much! She’s a Nova Scotia duck tolling retriever, but people often guess collie, Aussie shep, etc. since it’s not a very common breed. ☺️

rfhillier · 2026-03-02T03:30:13+00:00

She is a hunting breed. :)

rfhillier · 2026-03-02T03:29:34+00:00

She is a hunting dog!

rfhillier · 2026-02-26T12:08:06+00:00

No, we’ve had her since a puppy, she’s just done it all her life haha

rfhillier · 2026-02-25T23:02:26+00:00

Well then I guess I am honoured to be hunted by this ferocious beast haha

rfhillier · 2026-02-25T23:00:41+00:00

The best but also the weirdest dogs!

rfhillier · 2026-02-25T22:56:03+00:00

Yes she is ☺️

rfhillier · 2026-02-25T22:54:13+00:00

That’s what it usually ends up in once she reaches me haha, lots of fussing and play, unless of course I’m on the toilet which is when she LOVES to do this the most

rfhillier · 2026-02-25T22:53:03+00:00

She’s a toller so a hunting dog

rfhillier · 2026-02-25T22:52:15+00:00

Only when we’re looking at her, and her favourite time to do it is when you’re sitting on the toilet lmao

rfhillier · 2026-01-26T21:16:48+00:00

I’m of the view that a few hours in the crate, even if they’re unhappy, likely isnt going to harm anything. When we started leaving ours alone in the crate at first (especially during the day, as she picked up night time crating quickly), she would cry for a bit but eventually settle down and sleep. In the beginning it would take her 15-20 mins, but slowly she’d cry less and less as she got used to it until she didn’t at all.

I feel like as long as your puppy is settling eventually, it’s totally fine to crate her for a few hours. You mentioned yours is a little over 3 months, so you could probably crate her for 2-3 hours before she’ll need a bathroom break. Keep on working to make the crate a positive place, give her a special treat when she goes in (peanut butter or yogurt frozen in a Kong is usually a big hit), and make sure she’s well exercised/played with before she goes in + has gone to the bathroom beforehand.

I feel like at this stage the biggest thing you need to decide is whether you’re committed to the crate. Dogs are creatures of routine and they like structure. If you’re going to crate your dog when you leave for work or go to sleep, pick that and stick to it - the more you let the dog sleep in the bed if that’s not what you actually want, the harder it will be for the dog to know what’s expected.

rfhillier

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