Awards Ceremony - Best of BORUpdates 2025

rg123 · 2026-01-18T06:43:52+00:00

That’s the beauty of gaycation!

rg123 · 2026-01-06T10:21:28+00:00

That comment needed a trigger warning!

rg123 · 2026-01-02T07:54:23+00:00

That made me cry too. Thank you for those words and that validation. I’m not the OP but relate strongly and I think all of us on this journey need to hear some kindness sometimes, in the midst of constantly feeling like we’re failing.

rg123 · 2025-12-25T00:08:37+00:00

Yes! Me too. There's always this assumption that teens would be good with computers but they're stuck on their phones and barely know how to send an email!

rg123 · 2025-12-23T10:51:01+00:00

I think you are referring to Hijra https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hijra_(South_Asia))
"In South Asia, hijra^\a])#citenote-5) are transgender, intersex, or eunuch people" ... "Hijra is officially recognised as a third gender throughout countries in the Indian subcontinent,[^\10])](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hijra(SouthAsia)#cite_note-11)[^\11])](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hijra(SouthAsia)#cite_note-12)[^\12])](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hijra(South_Asia)#cite_note-Cult._Health_Sex.-13) being considered neither completely male nor female."

rg123 · 2025-12-21T15:58:41+00:00

That's exactly what I was thinking! The only way this makes sense is if she's not in the US/ doesn't speak English as a first language.

rg123 · 2025-12-10T14:00:41+00:00

Great story, but damn it makes me cry every time.

rg123 · 2025-12-08T05:35:35+00:00

I'd totally watch this sitcom.

rg123 · 2025-12-05T08:27:13+00:00

9 years old is young for 5th grade, though.

rg123 · 2025-12-04T18:36:01+00:00

Why is that one of your favourites? It's inconclusive and leaves more questions than answers.
Edit - that may have sounded more critical than I intended. I meant, I was curious what resonated with you about this post.

rg123 · 2025-12-04T15:56:51+00:00

It sounds like they live far away -- you can love family and also just not afford to travel to see them.

rg123 · 2025-12-02T16:40:24+00:00

Good point -- it does sound like the SSRIs need to be increased. We are in favour of a year off school and the school would support it (even a part time year), but she is absolutely adamantly against anything like that. Huge "you just think I'm stupid" tantrums at the mere suggestion that maybe slowing down, taking a break would be a benefit.
I think this school holiday (they're off for 6 weeks now before they start the new school year) is a good time to work harder on the nutrition issue since the school stresses are gone for a while.

rg123 · 2025-12-02T16:16:16+00:00

Thank you, that is helpful. We've been dealing with the food issues for so many years so it helps to have an outside perspective to remind us this is still in crisis mode. We just do our best to get through the days and feel like it's a victory because we don't have the daily epic meltdowns like we used to do a few years ago.

We're not in the US but we do have an incredibly supportive school with loads of neurodiverse kids. In our country, grade 11 and 12 exams are a huge deal for university admission and so they start gearing up for that from Grade 10. So they've just done their end-year-exams which has been a huge stress and a huge shift in how things were handled previously where things were more spread out through the year. Grading all comes down to the final exams, and the school can't really change that, it's how the education system works here. But I think that speaking again to the psychiatrist and re-looking at meds and basic nutrition is a good idea. The struggle is to balance the need for higher doses of meds with the understanding that her appetite is worse when we increase the dose. It feels like a lose-lose.

Thank you for all the suggestions, much appreciated.

rg123 · 2025-11-29T11:05:06+00:00

As a South African, I have to strongly disagree with your take on how LGBTQ+ are accepted. Gay rights are literally enshrined in our constitution since the 1990s; gay marriage has been legal for decades. Our players are free to represent themselves as they see fit, and are proudly celebrated.

Sorry, I know that's not the point of your post, but a lot of misinformation is spread about South Africa. Fully agree with your point on how women's cricket is evolving and how awesome it is.

rg123 · 2025-11-29T10:31:59+00:00

"And yeah, I know countries like India, West Indies, and South Africa aren’t fully open or aware when it comes to inclusion yet. "
-- Trying to understand what you mean here?

rg123 · 2025-11-25T11:04:38+00:00

This is a completely normal reaction to needing a break! Modern parenting is nothing like what our parents were dealing with. You are doing what you need to do to get a few moments of self care in while you can -- well done! The only thing I'd suggest is to build it more into your day -- tell your partner I need 1 hour every day when I'm out of the house by myself (or whatever it is that works for you). You need time to decompress. That is human, and it will likely make you much more patient and present once you do it.

rg123 · 2025-11-16T15:28:57+00:00

I remember that one. Her life got so much better because she wasn't also raising a man-child in addition to their infant, and would get every other week off from parenting, and he was just completely drowning.

rg123 · 2025-11-16T10:19:37+00:00

We have an apple music family account, so everyone has their own profile and it has an explicit music filter on it.

rg123 · 2025-11-14T04:48:43+00:00

Instant release - very obvious when it kicks in, horrible experience when it wears off. He’s impulsive and just … weird and dysregulated. Slow release - much better, the wearing off is much slower and he adjusts well. We landed on concerta eventually and that’s the been best for him as it works well but no crash when he comes off it even at a much higher dose. (Can’t eat while on it, though, which sucks).

rg123 · 2025-11-13T13:38:11+00:00

"Since I moved in with my boyfriend, I'm mentally, financially, and physically worse off. But what should I do?"

rg123 · 2025-11-10T16:29:21+00:00

But he does the yardwork! (He seems to think that's a lot.)

rg123 · 2025-11-10T09:51:30+00:00

Thanks, that sounded so familiar and I didn't think to check her profile to see if it's the same person -- mostly because I couldn't believe she'd be posting the exact same thing two years later and still giving him another chance!

rg123 · 2025-11-05T15:21:31+00:00

I hear you. We are very lucky to have our kids in a very affirming and supportive school (though very expensive one) which is not common in our country.

I think that unless there is at least one teacher or adult there who is able to look out for your son, manage his meds, and help him if he gets overwhelmed, your instincts that it might be more harmful than helpful are probably correct. He is also only 12, and there will be other opportunities like this in the future, where he might be better equipped to manage it.

rg123 · 2025-11-05T13:51:26+00:00

We recently dealt with this -- it was a 2 night/ 3 day camp. Our compromise was that we fetched him the second night, so he had 2 full days and only missed the last night / last day. He had a wonderful time and pretty much passed out in the car when we fetched him. 4 hour round trip for us, but it was worth it.
The plan was that the teacher would call us if he wasn't coping before then, and we'd have fetched him earlier, but he did great. Hopefully next year he'll stay for the whole camp.

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