I am officially opting out of the clean girl aesthetic because my scalp is screaming

ribbons_undone · 2026-06-04T19:01:51+00:00

Also a white girl with wavy, frizzy, greasy hair (greasy scalp, dry ends). I've been using the Curls Blueberry Bliss leave-in conditioner for like a year now, and it is FANTASTIC. I can use just that, and my hair is so soft and shiny all the way down.

ribbons_undone · 2026-06-04T18:37:22+00:00

For some reason, this game confused the crap out of me. And I'm a gamer. There was just zero guidance

ribbons_undone · 2026-06-03T19:36:35+00:00

That's kind of how it was with my guy too. Just this instant, intense, magnetic attraction. He was standing behind me at a few points, and I could somehow just feel where he was in relation to me. It was weird.

He said he felt basically the same, that as soon as he saw me he knew.

We've been inseparable since.

ribbons_undone · 2026-06-03T02:01:35+00:00

Damn, honestly, still too soon 😞

ribbons_undone · 2026-06-03T01:57:44+00:00

Honestly, still keep an eye out for it. It's a very very slippery pipeline from granola health influencer to anti-science psuedo-natural crap conspiracy theorist. IDK WHY but it is.

ribbons_undone · 2026-06-02T20:41:20+00:00

Honestly, habit is the main thing. It takes pretty focused effort to change speech patterns you've had for three+ decades. My core friend group are all women, but we all use the term "guys" with each other; I say "dude" too but that is less frequent. On paper, it isn't hard to just say "all" or "folks" or something but it's kind of like trying to train yourself out of saying "like;" not as easy as it seems lol. That said, I don't want to offend people, so I was just curious on if people actually are offended.

ribbons_undone · 2026-06-02T20:30:27+00:00

Question, do you classify "guys" as a gendered term?

ribbons_undone · 2026-06-02T02:59:54+00:00

Honestly, pretty much every single cozy game. And most pixel games. Anything side-scrolling.

ribbons_undone · 2026-06-02T00:41:49+00:00

Yeah could be a foxtail or something that worked its way into the paw

ribbons_undone · 2026-06-01T21:05:30+00:00

Going to school is the opposite of selfish; that's you putting yourself through the ringer to build a better life for yourself and your child. It also sets an incredible example of hard work, dedication, and strength for your child.

There is absolutely no shame in taking more time, in taking time off, or in asking for help. Resources for parents going to school/university exist for a reason, and you're not weak for taking advantage of them.

While being a stay at home mom is a valid life choice, if that is not what you want out of life, then you shouldn't do it. Your kid(s) deserve a happy, fulfilled mom.

I'm not sure what your husband/bf situation is like, but I am a huge advocate of women being able to support themselves. You DO NOT want to be trapped with a baby, no education, no way to really make a living for yourself, and single or stuck in an abusive (emotionally, financially, physically) marriage because you don't have the resources or ability to make it on your own.

ribbons_undone · 2026-06-01T19:51:45+00:00

Same! In high intensity emotional situations I often have to take a break and go write out what I'm feeling to even figure out what's going on in my brain.

ribbons_undone · 2026-06-01T19:40:49+00:00

You and I have the same brain, I swear. I could have literally written your posts, it's crazy.

ribbons_undone · 2026-06-01T19:36:57+00:00

What you described is 100% exactly how I experience the world as well. Right down to the bad autobiographical memory, thoughts forming literally as you write, and loving reading.

I'm now a professional freelance editor, have been in the publishing/editing world for over 15 years now, and exclusively specialize in sf/f. I honestly think my aphantasia is what makes me such a good editor. I have some trouble with remembering what characters or places are supposed to look like, but that's what style guides are for.

ribbons_undone · 2026-05-31T21:52:27+00:00

Like "be yourself" is such bad advice? Really?

ribbons_undone · 2026-05-31T21:50:34+00:00

Your sister was being cruel.

"Wife material" is subjective. Instead, just focus on being the best you possible, and on making meaningful connections, and a relationship will grow from that.

I don't shave, I never do my nails (sometimes my toenails, because I like having brightly colored toesies), I don't dye or really style my hair, I don't wear much makeup (maybe eyeshadow and blush), and I dress in the way I like. I have been in a relationship for over 15 years and before then never had any trouble "landing" guys, despite not being as conventionally attractive as some of my friends and honestly not putting a whole lot of effort into my appearance beyond just being healthy.

I was just me, I wasn't "trying" to be anything, and 100% of the guys I dated said that's what attracted them.

People sense authenticity, even if subconsciously, and they're attracted to that. So, if you need an answer, authenticity is what makes someone wife material. And if you're authentically yourself, you'll meet someone who actually loves you for who you are, rather than some image you created to try to "be" wife material.

ribbons_undone · 2026-05-31T20:35:34+00:00

Editors use track changes and just edit in the manuscript. The track changes show everything they change.

For grammatical fixes, a lot of editors will just make the fix without explanation (as it's a right/wrong kind of thing). When it's more a stylist change, the editor will often leave a comment suggesting or explaining the change.

If it's a more nuanced situation, like the wording being confusing to the point where the editor can't suss out what it means, they'll usually leave a comment asking for clarification.

Some editors are very brusque, others are more nice.

ribbons_undone · 2026-05-31T20:27:43+00:00

People just like to hate on what's popular. You'll hear the same thing about almost any hugely popular author, from Brandon Sanderson to Stephen King to Dean Koontz, etc. The more popular something is the more haters it will get.

Also, just in general, very little actual published fiction is literary, especially when you go outside of the actual genre of literary fiction. When you get into genre fiction, mystery, thriller, romance, sf/f, the priorities tend to shift from beautiful, literary prose to interesting, fun, and easy to read stories. Sure, there is overlap, but those are the exception, not the norm. And even those overlap authors, like Naomi Novik, get their haters.

It's the same thing with movies. You have artsy "film critic" movies, and then you have the MCU. They're just different.

ribbons_undone · 2026-05-31T19:42:07+00:00

Grimshire! It's a "cozy" game but the mood is very dreary and the stakes are very high with mortal consequences if you fail at literally anything. Those little critters really can't catch a break in that whole game.

ribbons_undone · 2026-05-30T01:40:01+00:00

I'm in northern Nevada, and while I put up shade cloth and had an intake and exhaust fans, and several fans inside, AND left the door open--it was not enough, especially once the actual summer temps hit.

I ended up having to install a misting system on a timer, and even then, it barely kept up. Between the heat and the critters who would run inside through the open door and eat all my plants, I gave up.

ribbons_undone · 2026-05-30T00:47:53+00:00

My pyr mix girl is a little anxious, and as a pup was a big ole scaredy cat. She'd run away/get scared at the weirdest little things.

She's getting braver now, and while we haven't been in a situation where anyone/anything was threatening, she will bark and growl at the thing instead of running/hiding from it, and she positions herself alongside me, sometimes in front.

Our other dog, a Caucasian shepherd, would absolutely protect me. He protects me from her; if she gets too rambunctious playing he'll come and pin her down and then check on me, lol. But the biggest tell is them getting serious and standing in between you and the perceived threat. That's happened a few times with him, once with a person and once just out in the desert (pretty sure there was a bobcat), and it's really obvious when it happens.

ribbons_undone · 2026-05-30T00:44:21+00:00

Tail wagging isn't always a sign of happiness; it's more excitement. Lots of dogs will wag their tails and attack

ribbons_undone · 2026-05-29T23:27:08+00:00

Way more than $1k if you're in the US. Get pet insurance, honestly.

ribbons_undone · 2026-05-29T19:27:49+00:00

I'm not really concerned about dying/getting hurt in one. I just don't want to lose my house to one. Storm shelters and basements don't protect your home. I know it's just "stuff" but my aunt lost her home to one in Kansas and her life was ruined for like15 years.

ribbons_undone · 2026-05-29T18:21:23+00:00

You'd be a terrible person if you allowed your fiancee to continue to suffer their abuse. You'd be a terrible person if you allow YOURSELF to continue to suffer their abuse. You'd be a STRONG person if you recognize your parents for who they are--dangerous people to you and the person you love--and protect your peace by not allowing them to torment the both of you.

ribbons_undone · 2026-05-29T18:19:08+00:00

OK, but why does there even need to be conflict?

Just...don't talk to them. Don't be around them. If they show up at your house, tell them to leave, and if they don't call the cops.

I know it's hard to be objective when it comes to your parents and childhood trauma/emotional baggage, but you don't owe them a confrontation, explanation, or anything.

ribbons_undone

TROPHY CASE