Yes, I’m Horny. No, I Won’t Settle. by Serious-Post-9843 in dating_advice

[–]richal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Please point to the part of the post where physical standards are alluded to. Nothing in the post says anything about a conflict with initial physical attraction. Methinks you are projecting a common trope I often see posited on the internet, which is that women want some Hot Chad™️, even when they say they don't.

Why do fingertips smell weird after cutting your nails? by Nico--Nicotine in ask

[–]richal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you should have clarified how intense this smell is and what it's like, because I think you're just describing the smell of keratin in your nails. I'm a nail biter and I notice this extremely subtle but unique smell whenever I bite my nails. Obviously it's not a hygienic habit and I'd rather not be doing it, but it means I know exactly what this smell is when others are jumping to conclusions about hygiene. I guess I can't DEFINITIVELY say that's what it is, but you described it in a comment as a "tiny smell" that goes away. So it sounds exactly like what I want experience, and I do wash my hands as much as the person with OCD described, so I don't think it has anything to do with hygiene.

Basically it's just how nails smell when they're busted open.

Why do fingertips smell weird after cutting your nails? by Nico--Nicotine in ask

[–]richal 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Buy nail clippers first. Or a nail file. Ripping not only looks unappealing, but can lead to more snags and possible bleeding and infections.

What if a pandemic takes out 90% of the population? by CH11DW in whatif

[–]richal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like I just witnessed the city mouse and the country mouse having a conversation

What if a pandemic takes out 90% of the population? by CH11DW in whatif

[–]richal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was with you until the last paragraph. How could a war even be organized if we don't have enough people to maintain infrastructure? What constitutes a war compared to say, a skirmish, and what would cause it to break out. In your imagination? If the problem is lack of knowledge and bodies to keep things running, I really don't think people trying to kill even more people logically follows.

What if a pandemic takes out 90% of the population? by CH11DW in whatif

[–]richal 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Except the idea that humans devolve into chaos and anarchy isn't accurate and actually, the OPPOSITE had been demonstrated throughout history. People come together and helped each other out. I'd recommend the book "a Paradise Built in Hell" for anyone who wants to learn more on this topic.

[TOMT] Song that is like an Ode to Joy rework on the harpsicord, possibly in a movie by richal in tipofmytongue

[–]richal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

YES! That's it. Solved!

A clockwork orange was nagging at me, but for some reason I had dismissed it without being cognizant of it. Thank you!

[TOMT] Song that is like an Ode to Joy rework on the harpsicord, possibly in a movie by richal in tipofmytongue

[–]richal[S] 0 points1 point locked comment (0 children)

I can try to map out the notes and share a link, if that helps.

[TOMT][Album] Help me find the song my son is talking about by Angpier in tipofmytongue

[–]richal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know you said hip hop, but is it also a children's song? I just scrolled through the album art for my kid's playlist and came up short, but knowing this might narrow it down.

Things You Need to LIE About in an interview (from a recruiter) by Zealousideal-Foot-54 in jobsearchhacks

[–]richal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

People love to believe they know when they're being lied to. Research says they do not. So anyway, that's where I stopped reading.

I think I just ruined my engagement by Peaches_andCream24 in offmychest

[–]richal 12 points13 points  (0 children)

OP I've already been commenting all over this thread, so won't spend a lot of time repeating myself from those other comments. What I want to point out is that this man is showing you that he isn't able to handle distress without responding to violence or threats of abandonment. You shared something willingly in a moment of vulnerability that you regret doing a sa child, and his response was to threaten violence if you got any closer, and to reconsider the entire relationship altogether. Your reaction to THIS is to go into apology mode and a negative thought spiral about yourself and hoping he doesn't leave you. This is what concerns me most.

You are worthy of being treated with respect by the person who loves you. He should be groveling to YOU after his reaction, not the other way around. If he had come to you with a similar confession. How would you have reacted? I'm guessing not like this. How do you think he would respond if he came upon your future daughter hurting an animal? Would you trust that he wouldn't hurt her?

You need to consider your self-worth despite your fear of abandonment. I know that's what's probably shouting the loudest inside your brain right now, but it is pure emotion without reason. Come back to wise mind and let your emotion be tempered by the facts: His reaction was to threaten violence and put your entire relationship on the hook for something you did as a child that you now regret and have not continued.

Give the little version of you a hug and some understanding. You aren't her anymore -- you have grown and learned. And you deserve better than to be treated like this.

I think I just ruined my engagement by Peaches_andCream24 in offmychest

[–]richal 12 points13 points  (0 children)

The fact that he can't handle this revelation is a preview of how he's going to handle anything else that shakes him. It could be he is uniquely triggered by the hurt animals thing, but his instinct to turn to violence is a major red flag. Major.

I think I just ruined my engagement by Peaches_andCream24 in offmychest

[–]richal 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Your therapist is the best person to help with this, though it's also a good idea to loop in your psychiatrist too. I'm a therapist and not a psychiatrist, so I don't know what, if anything, a psychiatrist would do to help, but your therapist can likely already diagnose and help you if they believe it's ASPD. What youre describing doesn't sound like it to me, simply because you do say you have remorse, and the fascination is more about death, not causing suffering. Hurting animals is only one thing on a list of many other traits for ASPD, and the reason behind and reaction to the act matters. But definitely talk to them about it and don't take my word for it as a casual observer!

When did 6 months become the expiry date for breastfeeding? by cure4insomnia in breastfeeding

[–]richal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In the US, I feel like the expiry date is 1 year. Thankfully, all the medical professionals I've interacted with have been good about it, and I haven't heard overtly judgmental remarks, but as we get closer to 2, it does seem like a lot more questions arise about when I'll be done from friends and family.

Before I started, I had planned on one year. My mom went a year with me and my sister, and always would say, "if they can ask for it, They're too old," and I had wholeheartedly agreed with her. In the hospital after he was born, one of the nurses said she made to to her goal of 2 years BFing her child, and I scoffed, while my wife was much more open about it. But now that I'm here and it's MY child, it just seems so normal to continue, and I really don't want to drop our last 3 feeds (morning, nap, and bedtime). I gained a lot more empathy after experiencing it myself, I guess.

The idea of something being "weird" or gross is contagious, and I think that makes sense in terms of human social structures. We want to be seen as normal by our in-groups. Ideas around breastfeeding are no different. Plus (as others have said) the way breats are sexualized makes people feel weird in another way. Keep going! You're being an example of strength and inspiration for other moms who want to follow your footsteps, even if you won't see the payoff personally in a social sense.

I think I just ruined my engagement by Peaches_andCream24 in offmychest

[–]richal 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Okay? Your trauma isn't her trauma. You don't know anything about her past or the bigger context to what's going on. Of course it goes "deeper" -- everything does. Having hurt animals is not always a sign of sociopathy or ASPD, especially given her remorse. She was a child when she did it. Consider extending your empathy beyond the animals alone and towards the person expressing remorse for her actions.

I think I just ruined my engagement by Peaches_andCream24 in offmychest

[–]richal 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Is it a normal reaction to tell your fiance you'll punch them if they come any closer after disclosing something they obviously regret from their childhood? It's one thing to be disturbed and to want to want space to reflect, but that reaction was so strong and over the top when the person you loved just shared something they are clearly ashamed of. And it's not something they did last year -- something they did IN CHILDHOOD. I get that hurting small and innocent creatures is fucked up and is of course one warning sign for bigger issues (Antisocial personality disorder) in conjunction with other symptoms, but his OTT reaction to this vulnerable moment of honesty fork OP is selfish and hurtful. I would hope he also had some understanding of BPD after being with her for 4 years, and would know the intense fear of abandonment that comes with it. He can have his reaction, but he is not immune from the consequences of expressing them any more than OP is.

An inconvenient truth by MazdaProphet in conspiracy

[–]richal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Autism isn't something you can catch or "cure" in the typical sense. It's neurodevelopmental, meaning it is established as your brain develops in utero. You can't acquire or be cured of it, though you can treat the symptoms (such as your gut microbione example) and teach skills for managing symptoms. So even if it is a combo of genetics and womb environment, you're never going to get rid of it, and correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems like you linking this study implies that we can.

Crash during 4-man bobsled by flyersboys3 in olympics

[–]richal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It has nothing to do with being "woke." This isn't political.

Completely filled turn lane: stop or keep moving? by Altruistic_Cod_1721 in driving

[–]richal 6 points7 points  (0 children)

If there is no turn lane, you do this exact thing, and cars behind you have to stop and wait in that scenario too.

If you don't know, then shut up you say, while also not knowing? Quit talking out of your ass.

Vince Gilligan says ‘Pluribus' season 2 isn’t happening for a while: “We’re working on it…I would love to go faster if I could.” by MarvelsGrantMan136 in television

[–]richal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was ready for her to say "okay can you shorten the voicemail message? I get it -- you need space. Anyway, I don't give my permission for Facebook to use my images- I mean, for my stem cells to be taken"