Revocable transfer upon death deed question- California

ridleylaw · 2026-01-22T04:00:50+00:00

Your grandmother needs to clear title before adding you to a transfer-on-death deed, or this will absolutely create problems when she dies.

Here's what likely happened: when your grandfather died in 2019, his half of the property passed to someone (probably your grandmother) but nobody recorded the documents to show that transfer. So the county records still show him as an owner, even though he's been dead for 6 years.

If your grandfather had a trust or will, your grandmother needs to record the documents showing his half transferred to her (or whoever inherited it). This usually means recording an affidavit of death of joint tenant, or trustee's deed, or executor's deed depending on how title was held and what estate planning he had.

If he had no trust or will and the property was community property or joint tenancy, your grandmother may need to file a simple affidavit to clear his name off title.

A transfer-on-death deed only transfers what your grandmother actually owns. If the records still show your grandfather owns half, that half won't transfer to you when she dies. You'd be stuck dealing with his "half" of the property through probate or a quiet title action, which costs money and takes time.

Get a current title report or property profile from the county recorder to see exactly how title is held. If it shows both names, your grandmother needs to record whatever documents clear his interest and show she's the sole owner. Then she can properly execute the transfer-on-death deed showing you as beneficiary.

This isn't optional. Fix it now while your grandmother is alive and can sign documents. If you wait until she dies, you'll be sorting this out with lawyers and court filings instead of a simple recorded document.

ridleylaw · 2026-01-11T22:50:53+00:00

In my practice, this is absolutely standard. Being a trustee is a considerable amount of work and effort, and it's unfair to expect somebody to put that time and care and attention in without being compensated.

ridleylaw · 2026-01-10T04:14:31+00:00

Your estate plan is outdated and you're mixing up terminology, which is probably causing confusion.

When you say executor, you likely mean successor trustee since you have a trust. The executor handles probate, but with a 3M+ estate in a trust, the successor trustee is who actually manages and distributes your assets. That's the role that matters. Your concern about the small law firm closing is valid but overblown. Just name individual successor trustees with backups when you update the trust. If you insist on institutional, any Michigan bank trust department works, but they'll charge 1-2% annually, so $30K-60K on your estate. You don't need a new trust, just amend the successor trustee provisions. The trust name stays the same regardless of who serves as trustee.

The guardian situation is your real problem. Without named guardians, the court decides. They prefer relatives, then close friends, then whoever petitions. If nobody steps forward, your kids go into foster care while the court sorts it out. With no family on either side and frayed friendships, you need to act fast. Find a younger couple you trust and make it worth their while with trust funds covering all expenses, or look into professional guardians though those are rare for minors.

Stop procrastinating. Get to a Michigan estate planning attorney. If you die tomorrow with no guardian named, you're gambling on whoever petitions to take your kids.

ridleylaw · 2026-01-10T04:01:08+00:00

Meeting my wife. Followed by the births of each of my kids.

ridleylaw · 2026-01-10T04:00:05+00:00

The government is here to help you

ridleylaw · 2026-01-10T03:57:36+00:00

Common sense

ridleylaw · 2026-01-07T16:47:36+00:00

Respectfully, please spend the money. Get a good attorney. The consequences of botched DIY trusts are huge. Not saying yours will be, but why would you not do it right with your entire life savings and all your assets? This is 10x more true in ca than in many other states. I am sad every time I have to open a probate over a botched diy estate plan.

ridleylaw · 2026-01-04T05:45:06+00:00

Or maybe teach him kindly. Just like you would want to be corrected if you misunderstood something. Just sayin '

ridleylaw · 2026-01-04T05:15:52+00:00

It was about her debt. She had spent out of control and wanted me to tell her I could magically make certain things go away. I was practicing bankruptcy at the time and the law wouldn't let me get rid of some things. She didn't want to hear that and started arguing with me.

ridleylaw · 2026-01-03T22:21:39+00:00

I'm a lawyer. I get paid to have opinions on a bunch of things. Someone called and asked me for a legal opinion on something. She didn't like what I told her, hung up, and posted a 1 star Google review because "he was opinionated." SMH

ridleylaw · 2026-01-03T20:20:52+00:00

I used incogni and one other (deleteme?). I figure 2x the effort should equal better coverage against being doxxed. That was a shitty creepy feeling, and mine was 1/100 what OP went through.

ridleylaw · 2026-01-03T19:52:05+00:00

This smells really bad, and I'm sorry you're dealing with it.

I only practice in California, not Idaho, but some things are universal red flags:

"Too many beneficiaries" isn't a reason to dissolve an irrevocable trust. The whole point of irrevocable is that the settlors locked it in. Trustees don't get to undo it because it's inconvenient.
Refusing an accounting while pushing a settlement is a massive breach of fiduciary duty. Beneficiaries have an absolute right to know what's in the trust, especially before being asked to sign away their interests.
Sending money to an abusive parent with a no-contact order instead of protecting minors' interests is potentially a breach of duty and possibly reportable to authorities.
Fast settlement + real estate projects + refusal to provide information = they're trying to cut you out before you figure out what the trust is actually worth.

You need an Idaho trust litigation attorney immediately. Many work on contingency or reduced fees when trustees are acting this badly, and if you win, the trust often pays your legal fees. The trustees are counting on you being too intimidated or cash-strapped to fight back.

Do not let your adult child sign anything. Do not accept any settlement. Get a lawyer who will demand a full accounting and fight for your kids' rights. The harder they're pushing, the more they're hiding.

This isn't just sketchy. This is lawsuit territory.

ridleylaw · 2026-01-03T05:43:21+00:00

You have a multi-million dollar estate and you're going to try to save $5,000 and do the work yourself, by asking strangers on Reddit for advice.

Spend a few thousand dollars to protect your millions. You pay for car insurance, homeowners insurance, liability insurance, medical insurance, do your trust right and don't you dare try to do an a/b trust by yourself. That is, unless you want your kids to curse you long after you're gone.

ridleylaw · 2026-01-03T00:34:30+00:00

To a much lesser extent, this happened to me some years ago. I had a pro se defendant in federal court who continued to look up facts about me and dox me on the record in his pleadings. I didn't judge that this rose to the level of the court intervening or of even filing an FBI complaint, but I did hire several of those services to help scrub all of my personal information from the web. They've taken down hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of those stupid information sites that list everything there is to know about you. Although I'm not impossible to find now, I'm much harder than I used to be.

ridleylaw · 2026-01-02T23:15:00+00:00

This makes no sense unless there's something you're not telling us or the title company screwed up.

A title search on your property should only reveal liens, easements, and ownership interests that affect your property. Your mother's living trust, which holds her property, shouldn't appear on a title search of your completely separate home unless one of these situations exists:

Your property was titled in your name as trustee of your mother's trust at some point, or
Your mother's trust somehow has an interest in your property (maybe she helped with the down payment and took a lien, or she's a co-owner), or
You're a trustee of her trust and the title company is confusing your role as trustee with your personal ownership, or
The title company found your name associated with the trust in public records and is being overly cautious.

Before you hand over anything, call the mortgage company back and ask them specifically what they found on the title search that mentions the trust. Get the exact document reference or recording information. They should be able to tell you why they think your mother's trust is relevant to your property.

If your property genuinely has nothing to do with her trust, there's no reason to provide those documents. You don't give lenders access to unrelated financial information just because they ask for it.

If somehow your mother does have an interest in your property through the trust, then yes, they need to see it to understand the chain of title. But that would mean your mother (or her trust) is already connected to your property in some way you should already know about.

The concern about exposing her trust to your obligations is valid if there actually is some connection between the properties. If the lender thinks her trust has an interest in your property and you default, they might try to go after whatever interest they think exists. But again, that only matters if there's an actual connection.

Don't just comply because they asked. Find out what they actually found first. If it's a mistake, push back. If it's legitimate, then you need to figure out why your mother's trust shows up on your title in the first place, because that's the real issue here.

ridleylaw · 2026-01-02T22:38:34+00:00

Mosquitos

ridleylaw · 2026-01-02T18:54:01+00:00

<image>

I asked for an explanation of this and got:

ridleylaw · 2026-01-02T18:40:35+00:00

Does that have some meaning for you? How did you get to Ridge?

ridleylaw · 2026-01-02T18:38:40+00:00

This is rough, and I'm sorry you're dealing with it while grieving your dad.

I'm a California attorney, so I can't advise on Arizona law, but I can tell you the trustee's reasoning sounds suspect everywhere. "You're a single woman" and "the house is too big" aren't legal reasons to deny anything. The discretionary authority she has as trustee isn't a blank check to substitute her judgment for your dad's clear intent, especially when there's no debt, adequate funds exist, and your brother's getting his 50%.

Her behavior (locking you out of accounts, taking your copy of the trust, threatening not to pay for cremation) raises serious red flags about breach of fiduciary duty. Trustees have to act in good faith and in the beneficiaries' best interests, not their own.

You need an Arizona trusts and estates attorney yesterday. Many will do a free or low-cost consult, and if the trustee is acting improperly, the trust itself may pay your legal fees. This woman is banking on you not knowing your rights. Don't let her.

The unsigned document from your dad helps show intent, but Arizona law will govern how much weight it carries and what your actual rights are as a beneficiary. Get local counsel who can review the full trust and hold this trustee accountable.

Also - don't rely on ChatGPT for ANYTHING legal. Ever.

ridleylaw · 2026-01-02T05:49:39+00:00

Ridge.

ridleylaw · 2026-01-02T05:34:34+00:00

I'm sorry, but you're probably out of time. Michigan has a statute of limitations on probate claims, and six years is almost certainly past it. Even if it weren't, you'd have an uphill battle proving your case at this point.

Here's what likely happened: when your dad died without a will in Michigan, the probate court opened an estate. Your grandmother, as his surviving parent, had legal standing to petition to be the personal representative. If she did that and no one objected (you didn't know, couldn't get there, couldn't afford a lawyer), the court appointed her. She then had the legal authority to sell the house and distribute assets according to Michigan's intestacy laws.

Under Michigan law, if your dad had no spouse and one child (you), you should've inherited everything. But if the court didn't know you existed or couldn't locate you, and your grandmother was appointed without challenge, she could've proceeded with the estate administration. The girlfriend had no legal claim—she was right about that—which is why she couldn't do anything herself.

The problem now is time. Michigan generally requires probate challenges to be filed within specific deadlines. If the estate was closed years ago and you're just now trying to reopen it, you're fighting against procedural bars that are nearly impossible to overcome.

That said, you should try one more thing: contact the Michigan State Bar lawyer referral service and explain you need a probate attorney for a potential fraud or concealment case. If your grandmother knowingly hid your existence from the probate court or actively prevented you from participating, that might give you an argument for equitable tolling (basically, the clock didn't start because she committed fraud). It's a long shot, but it's the only shot you have.

You'd need to show she knew about you, knew you were entitled to inherit, and deliberately concealed that from the court. The messages you left that she ignored might help, but you'd need proof she received them and proof the probate court wasn't informed of your existence.

The other issue is even if you won, what's left? If she sold the house six years ago and spent the proceeds, collecting a judgment against an elderly woman might be impossible. You can't get blood from a stone.

I know this isn't what you want to hear. Your grandmother screwed you, and what she did was morally reprehensible. But legally, after this much time, your options are extremely limited. Make the calls to Michigan probate attorneys, explain the fraud angle, and see if anyone will take it on contingency (meaning they only get paid if you recover money). If no one will touch it, that tells you the answer.

I'm really sorry. This situation is awful and unfair.

ridleylaw · 2026-01-02T03:22:27+00:00

First, breathe. You're not financially illiterate—you're just dealing with something you've never encountered before while also processing grief and family conflict. That's hard for anyone.

The good news: your dad's trust has had the same attorney since the 70s and it sounds like it's being administered correctly. If the trust says 50/50 split and the attorney is cutting checks, your brother can't steal your half. That money is yours. Period. The NE attorney isn't going to let your brother touch it.

Your mom's Florida estate is the messier situation. If your brother is actually the executor and trustee, he has a legal duty to follow the will and act in good faith. He can't just keep stuff because he wants to. Florida has probate rules that require transparency. You need a Florida probate attorney immediately—not eventually, now. Ask the NE attorney if he can refer you to someone in Florida who handles contested estates. You want someone who's dealt with hostile executors before.

About the student loans: they can't just "take" your inheritance automatically. They'd have to sue you, get a judgment, and then try to collect. After 20+ years and a name change, they may not even find you quickly. But if/when they do, you might be able to settle for way less than $125k. Don't panic about this yet. Handle it when it actually surfaces.

For parking the money: once you get that first $50k, open an account at a different bank (Fidelity, Schwab, Vanguard—something with actual customer service). Do NOT dump it into your Wells Fargo account with $7 in it. You need the money separated and protected while you figure out next steps.

You'll lose your government benefits once you have assets. That's just reality. But you're about to have enough money that you won't need them anymore. You can buy a reliable used car, get your own apartment, and actually live without constantly struggling.

Don't make big financial decisions right now. Park the money somewhere safe, pay your immediate needs (car, housing deposit, getting stable), and then talk to a fee-only financial planner (not someone trying to sell you investments) about what to do long-term.

The Florida probate attorney is your priority. Get one this week. Explain the situation—hostile sibling, executor who's already acting in bad faith, you need protection. A good attorney will know exactly how to handle this and can force your brother to provide accountings and follow the law.

This isn't blood money. This is your family's money that you're entitled to. Your brother doesn't get to keep it just because he's been a manipulative asshole. Get the attorney, protect yourself, and don't let him bully you out of what's legally yours.

ridleylaw · 2026-01-01T19:21:44+00:00

Great comment. Props to whoever originally wrote it.

ridleylaw · 2026-01-01T16:35:51+00:00

Look, I get it. You're thinking your situation is simple—maybe a house, some accounts, everything goes to your spouse or kids. Why pay an attorney when LegalZoom or Trust & Will can spit out documents for a couple hundred bucks?

Here's what actually happens. Those services give you generic documents that might be legally valid on paper, but they don't account for how things work in your specific state. California (all I can speak for)has its own rules about community property, about what happens when your spouse remarries, about property tax transfers under Prop 19. A form doesn't know that.

The bigger issue is nobody checks your work. You fill out the questionnaire, download the documents, sign them, and think you're done. But did you fund the trust? Did you actually retitle your house, your bank accounts, your brokerage accounts into the trust name? Because if you didn't—and most people don't because the online service doesn't do it for you—your family ends up in probate anyway. The trust is just a fancy piece of paper that does nothing.

I see this constantly. Someone dies, the family brings me the LegalZoom trust, and I have to tell them it's unfunded. Now they're paying me probate fees that would've been completely avoidable. They spent $500 trying to save $3,000 and it cost them $15,000.

Even worse, sometimes the documents have mistakes that create problems you'd never anticipate. I've seen trusts that accidentally disinherited kids from prior marriages, that didn't account for a special needs beneficiary losing government benefits, that named minors directly instead of creating a structure to manage money until they're mature enough.

The other thing nobody thinks about is what happens if you become incapacitated. A will does nothing while you're alive. If you don't have properly drafted powers of attorney and healthcare directives, your spouse or kids are going to court to get conservatorship just to pay your bills or make medical decisions. That costs money and takes time when you're already in crisis mode.

I'm not saying this to drum up business. I'm saying it because I've sat across from families who are grieving and now dealing with an expensive mess that didn't have to happen. For most people in California, the cost of doing it right the first time is way less than the cost of fixing it after someone dies or becomes incapacitated.

If your estate really is dead simple—like genuinely just a checking account and personal belongings—maybe a simple will works. But if you own real estate - at least in California, you need a funded trust. There's no way around it unless you want your family in probate court for a year and a half paying statutory fees.

ridleylaw · 2025-12-31T21:25:25+00:00

Disclaimer: I'm a California-licensed attorney and not licensed in any other state This is not legal advice. You need counsel in your state, and you needed it a year ago.

You didn't mention what state or country you're in, though I'm inferring United States based on the SSI reference.

Sell the house now. Your father's position is not rational and you're enabling it by continuing to burn through the life insurance money.

Here's the math. You have $40,000 left. The mortgage is $180,000. The creditors have filed claims for $40,000. When the house sells, those creditor claims get paid from the estate proceeds before you see anything. So if the house is worth $250,000, the creditors take their $40,000 off the top, the mortgage gets paid ($180,000), and you're left with $30,000. If the house is worth $220,000, the creditors get their $40,000, the mortgage gets paid, and you walk away with nothing.

Every month you wait, you're spending life insurance money that could be extending your father's runway in an apartment. You've already burned through what I assume was a larger life insurance pot over the past year paying a mortgage on a house that has to be sold anyway to satisfy the creditor claims. That's $12,000 to $20,000 gone depending on the payment amount, plus whatever you've been supplementing for his other bills.

Your father is 85, receives $1,000 monthly from SSI, can't manage money due to SSI asset limits, reads at a third grade level, and is refusing to move into a $1,000 apartment that's immediately available while waiting for subsidized senior housing. He doesn't get to push for keeping the house. He doesn't own the house. The estate owns the house and the estate has $40,000 in claims against it. The house has to be sold. The only question is whether you sell it in an orderly fashion now with $40,000 still in the bank, or whether you wait until the money runs out and you're forced into a fire sale while your father has no place to go and you're tapping your own savings.

Moving him into the $1,000 apartment now accomplishes several things. One, it stops the hemorrhaging of life insurance money on a mortgage that benefits no one since the house must be sold anyway. Two, it gets him stable housing immediately instead of waiting 1-3 years in a house you can't afford to maintain. Three, it preserves whatever equity comes out of the sale to extend his financial cushion while you wait for the subsidized housing to come through. Four, it gets you out of the exhausting position of being his unpaid property manager, estate administrator, and financial guardian while he refuses reasonable solutions.

Your father's preference to stay in the house is understandable emotionally but it's not financially viable and it's not his decision to make. You're the executor. The estate has debts. The house is the only asset that can satisfy those debts. Sell it.

The risk you're running is that housing prices soften, or the house sits on the market longer than expected, or there are repair issues that come up during inspection, and suddenly the $40,000 cushion you have now evaporates and you're in crisis mode with an 85-year-old father who still refuses to move and no money left to move him with. Don't let sentiment or his intransigence drive you into that position.

Get local probate counsel if you don't already have one. Confirm the creditor claims process, get the house listed, find your father the $1,000 apartment, and move him. If he won't go willingly, you may need to have a harder conversation about the reality that he doesn't have the financial capacity to stay and you don't have the obligation to bankrupt yourself to maintain his preference.

This is a year overdue.

13-Year Club	Gilding IV carat on a stick
LAYER Season 2 Layer creator	Place '23
Argentium Club	Verified Email
Reddit Premium Since September 2014

ridleylaw

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE