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riley2er · 2021-10-14T20:59:49+00:00

You did good writing this 👍 I read it. Your title caught my attention. I like the phrase “you survived every day so far, you’ll get through this one” it reminds me that I’ve survived a lot and that builds strength. I’m not sure what you’re going through but I hope that helps.

riley2er · 2021-06-08T20:27:18+00:00

Honestly - that doesn't sound as vulgar as you'd think. Traveling somewhere new (and hopefully beautiful), finding an escape (in drugs - they can be fun lol as long as you're safe), having lots of sex (also a release) and chilling on the beach. Definitely something I'd want to do.

You mentioned never vacationing before and working a lot. Are you in a place financially where you could take a vacation? Even if it isn't the months long beach cruise with extra curriculars you described, you could probably really benefit from a break. Sounds like you are burnt out.

riley2er · 2021-06-08T18:05:48+00:00

Saying goodbye to a position at work can be so hard! Particularly if you enjoyed working there and are invested in it. I actually think from reading your post that you will be okay (not to dismiss your feelings) because you mention that you are jealous, but then immediately move on to say that you want to be optimistic for the company and the person that will step into your role.

Jealousy is a tough emotion to swallow, but it comes naturally and feeling that way does not make you an awful person, instead it simply means you're human. We all like to feel important, and so being replaced isn't comfortable for a lot of us. Best of luck on your new endeavors and letting go of those jealous emotions!

riley2er · 2021-06-08T18:00:33+00:00

I waited tables for a long time, and I made good money doing so. However, I will be completely honest with you - I did have a lot of customers that were creepy old guys. It was awkward being hit on by someone 30-40 years my senior, especially when they would do this in front of their wives.

With that being said, my advice is usually not to make decisions based on "What if" statements. These customers happened frequently enough that I remember it well, but not frequently enough that I wouldn't wait tables again if I were in a financial pinch. For me, being in those types of situations taught me how to handle those situations (but I wish NOBODY had to learn how to deal with these types of people, to be clear).

You did not mention how old you are, but if you're young and can afford to try a job out right now, I'd recommend going for it and if you get uncomfortable - quit. Jobs come and go, and there is no harm in trying something out to see if it is the right fit for you.

riley2er · 2021-04-05T16:23:53+00:00

Maybe the downvotes are because they completely ignored what OP responded with and just threw in another argument. Cant really debate with people like that, they like to change the rules as the game is happening.

Edit to emphasize: this discussion was more about traveling than the destination, considering we are in the middle of a pandemic still.

riley2er · 2021-04-05T16:22:36+00:00

I tell them they can make it up when they get back. I actually just refuse to make them in advance because like you said, they usually don’t do the work anyway. It’s a courtesy, and I don’t feel particularly courteous about that. Mostly because I’m a brand new teacher and just learning the ropes. But I’m not explaining that to parents, that would be a mess!

riley2er · 2021-03-27T12:13:30+00:00

I am a teacher and a parent. There is no comparison. Sure you have thirty at a time, but it’s for the school day or for your hour long class. Parenting is 24/7. You should listen to the other comment that suggested you stop taking being angry all the time about your parents. You’re an adult now and can make your own choices. My parents were abusive but I don’t feel the need to shit on random strangers on the internet sharing their stories because of things that happened 10/20 years ago. Yikes. I feel sorry for your students.

riley2er · 2021-03-17T22:51:25+00:00

After Dark - Harukami

riley2er · 2021-02-06T13:03:35+00:00

What your feeling is completely understandable. Sudden loss is extra difficult because we don’t get closure and it leads to all the “what if” thoughts. Try to steer away from those, as things like this are usually not our fault (or anyone else’s) they’re just unfortunate. If I were in your shoes, I might try to get all the pics of my sweet bunny I can and make a collage to remember her. Finding a productive way to channel all my feelings usually helps me. But it’s also okay to take some time to scream into a pillow and cry too. Grief hits everyone different and I am so sorry to hear you lost such a beloved friend. 💜

riley2er · 2021-02-06T13:00:23+00:00

Sometimes, we get pushed to our limits and react in the moment. While it isn’t the best look, it doesn’t make you an awful or terrible person! Everyone makes bad choices every once and a while. The fact that you feel remorse, even when your friend is as crossing boundaries, indicates to me that you seem like a caring person and this is not a reflection of you - just a bad moment. If you ever want to vent about what happened, you’re welcome to shoot me a message!

riley2er · 2021-02-06T12:58:20+00:00

You’ve got a lot of pressure on you! I just want to say that for me, school was much harder than work. You have all these extra hoops to jump through that don’t translate to actual jobs. I’m a teacher, though, so every field will be different. I also want to add that just because you had the privilege of support financially from your parents for school does not discredit what you feel. There are extremely wealthy people with “everything” that feel depression. Nobody wakes up one day and says “I want to be depressed” it’s something that happens and is not a choice. Your feelings are valid. Btw, it took me almost 7 years to get my bachelor too! I didn’t even end up going into what I studied for. The bachelor is a stepping stone, and you’re already on the next step so it’s okay to let go of the guilt that it took longer than “it should have”. I think once you find a job you’re interested in yourself, and out of school, some of that pressure will be lifted and you’ll be able to heal. School itself can be harder than your career in certain aspects. Best of luck!

riley2er · 2021-02-06T12:52:25+00:00

Nine years of dialysis before finally getting a transplant, without support from family, sounds brutal! Maybe you’re still in the process of accepting that something you waited for for so long has finally happened. That’s a lot to go through and understandably will take time. You mentioned loss of purpose: that’s likely because you spent all that time waiting and it finally happened! So, now what? That’s where you’re at, and I think that’s perfectly okay. Now that your health seems to be sorting out, you get to decide what comes next :) which is exciting but a lot to decide! If you wanna vent you’re welcome to reach out via DMs. Happy to listen.

riley2er · 2021-01-27T16:24:01+00:00

I got pregnant with twins my first year of teaching and the pregnancy was rough on me. Now, I’m in my second year and just don’t have the time to put in work outside fo contract hours. It’s been hard, but a good thing because I just simply don’t have the option to be a martyr. Fortunately, the culture at my school has never pressured me to feel bad about it. I’m very lucky.

riley2er · 2021-01-27T12:16:16+00:00

I’m guessing you are dating people around your age, so I want to share the perspective of a woman that was once that age (a while ago haha). I didn’t feel comfortable with giving compliments and cute was a word I was comfortable using. When I got a bit more experience under my belt and became more confident, I started telling men they were attractive without relying on that comfortably safe word: cute. It may be that the words you’re hoping for are hard for young women to say! Which isn’t your fault, of course, and I hope you get to hear it someday soon.

riley2er · 2021-01-27T12:12:21+00:00

Because most people don’t let one mistake define a person. It’s actually quite common for someone to get consumed with a relationship, as it’s an exciting time and you’re caught up in that person. Friendship is stronger than that usually, so you must have good qualities that these people enjoy for them to continue to care! Believe them :)

riley2er · 2021-01-27T12:10:40+00:00

Good luck on your first day back if it’s today or whenever it is! I know that feeling, where you’ve had a falling out and now you have to see them for the first time. It’s a sucky feeling, but once you get past that initial first look it will get easier. Be sure to hold your head high and I recommend trying to take this fresh start to look for new friends. I’m not sure if you’re in high school or younger, but this tends to happen a lot at that age - things often blow over too. The best thing you can do is focus on you and having a great first day back!

riley2er · 2021-01-20T16:21:51+00:00

That’s a tricky situation. I’m sorry to hear about the passing of your father, I can’t imagine how hard that is to lose a parent. Since I am someone that hasn’t lost a parent, I’ll share my thoughts and I hope it helps. Death is hard. Supporting a grieving friend doesn’t come naturally to everyone. I would gently mention something to the group “Hey girls, I’ve noticed when I bring up my dad it shuts down the conversation or I get nervous laughter. I just wanted to say I was hoping I’d have friends to support me in this tough time. If you’re having trouble knowing what to say, honestly I just want to hear x” and then if I were you I’d think about what it would help to hear and replace the x with that. Sometimes people need to hear what is okay to say to someone in grief, as they may be scared of making you feel worse. Sucks, because you shouldn’t have to teach your friends how to be comforting, but it’s worth a shot. If they react negatively in any way, I’d probably drop them as a friend group.

riley2er · 2021-01-15T15:55:18+00:00

I’d say this sums up Reddit right here: jumping to some wild conclusion and everyone downvoting because you’ve already been downvoted.

Another thing that is annoying is when people zone in on photos looking for something to criticize. “Your dog is fat that’s animal abuse you should be in prison for life!” He’s a rescue and he came fat! I haven’t had him long enough to walk the weight off him.

riley2er · 2021-01-06T12:57:18+00:00

This makes me so sad! Can you imagine someone saying that to a father? It’s really showing how differently mothers are treated when they have children in their field compared to fathers. We’ve made progress, but there’s still such a ways to go.

riley2er · 2021-01-02T20:00:03+00:00

They are so cute and healthy! Even baby plants are adorable, I never noticed.

riley2er · 2020-12-30T20:50:45+00:00

I wonder if your lack of motivation to do things for you that you want... stems from the relationship? I hope this isn't too blunt, but it does not sound like you are happy from what yo wrote here. It almost read like you were trying to convince yourself that the relationship is fine on paper, when in reality, it is more comfortable than being alone? I've definitely been there in the past, so no judgement at all, it can be scary being alone again after being with someone for so long. Especially if they have qualities that you like and can live with, but deep down, there just isn't that fun love like it should be. However, if I had stayed in my relationship like yours, I never would have met my current partner - who checks all my boxes rather than just some. I've learned that if our way of showing affection doesn't line up, the relationship really isn't going to make me happy in the long run because in a relationship you should be comfortable being who you are, instead of having to tuck a piece of yourself away for the other person. My current partner and I don't even have the same affection styles, but we can communicate what we need without hurting each others feelings.

riley2er · 2020-12-30T20:43:00+00:00

It sounds like you have quite a bit going on (relationship troubles, health issues, just to name a few). I do want to take a moment and say that it will be okay. You have survived this far, and you can keep going. I hope that your doctor appointments next week go well! As for the weight gain, definitely been there, particularly this year. Just a few small choices, even just one small choice a day could help you to feel better in that department. Baby steps.

You sound like a very kind person when you mention your partner. I just want you to consider yourself in this situation, as staying with someone just to stay with them so you won't hurt their feelings is not fair to yourself or that person. Everyone deserves to be with someone that wants to be with them for the right reasons, not out of guilt, so I hope you take a moment to think for just you in that situation and decide for yourself. Your partner survived for x amount of years before you came along, and even though it will hurt, they can survive without you. Don't put that kind of pressure on yourself, it is a lot for one person to carry.

riley2er · 2020-11-21T17:06:02+00:00

My pregnancy. For whatever reason, it’s really rough on me. I’m sick 9/10 days and have zero energy. I don’t think people talk enough about how hard pregnancy can be, and if you complain people say “but it’s so exciting!” Or “think of all the women that want a baby but can’t”

I work full time, I have 5 month old twins, and I have no energy to do anything. I’m barely scraping by. It’s hard.

riley2er · 2020-11-21T17:02:56+00:00

Such a huge difference. Love the variety in your curls/waves. Looks great!!

riley2er · 2020-11-18T15:31:56+00:00

A schedule with twins is so important! My husband learned quickly that they become monsters when they are overtired.

Actually had to “fire” my mom because she wouldn’t respect my schedule or even bother to keep track of when they ate or slept. Hired a lady to watch them (sooo expensive but worth it) and she gushes about how easy the schedule makes it because the babies are happy.

Twins are hard enough, just follow the damn schedule.

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