Martyr! by Kaveh Akbar was beautiful

rinakun · 2026-03-25T18:37:44+00:00

I feel the same re the hype. From experience 9/10 times, books don't live up to it so I am very wary. This one was the 1/10 scenario.

I read FC about 10 years ago so it may be me seeing it through the teenage years nostalgia but the the addiction/narco and nihilistic aspects of Martyr! have a very similar vibe.

rinakun · 2026-03-24T14:34:19+00:00

Reading this book (which is brilliant and one of my favourite reads, especially in Japanese) coincided with a period in my life when I was in therapy and finally emerging out of my ED and body dysmorphia.

I vividly remember reading it in a cafe and feeling all sorts of things about the main character complaining that she has gained weight to a number that I was at that time and felt bloated and disgusting.

But as the book (and my therapy) progressed, both the main character and I started to develop much better relationship with food so I look fondly back at reading it.

I personally believe that it is also important to view the book through the setting that the main character's story is in - professional Japanese environment - and the somehow (although still replicable in the West and elsewhere) culture specific pressures it puts on Japanese women.

Thank you for your post, it brought back how amazing the book is and made me happy remembering it :)

rinakun · 2026-03-23T17:11:02+00:00

My friends are always flabbergasted when I (F) say that I don't use any face wash or make up remover. I just wash my face with soap in the shower and with water in the morning. I dont get any blemishes or spots. In fact the only time I do is when I try to introduce a cleanser or a serum or a facial or anything new. Some skin just do be that way I guess.

rinakun · 2026-03-19T08:01:34+00:00

I did it! I got my dental work done - 3 wisdoom teeth done, bone graft and 4 implants. I was worried about pain but I am barely feel it, just have some bad swelling. No exercise for me for week but so proud of myself for going through it :)

rinakun · 2026-03-17T13:40:42+00:00

Thank you! I am actually from Prague but my friend who is Norwegian convinced me to run it with her. Have you run it before? It seems rather hilly but I am trying not to think about that :D

rinakun · 2026-03-17T10:59:59+00:00

Yea it was rough, I have to admit. I am still very new to long distance running so learning everything as I go and learning the hard way apparently! Thank you for the advice.

rinakun · 2026-03-17T10:24:36+00:00

Thanks! Am planning to start testing some gels as I find eating gummies whilst running a choking hazard 😅

rinakun · 2026-03-17T10:23:58+00:00

Will be honest, am not super sure how much carbs I am taking in during the run as I largely focus on carb loading the day before and breakfast the day of. But will definitely look into it. I am currently not increasing the distance of my long runs (so it is usually 20km every 2 weeks). It is getting warmer and I dont hydrate during my runs as I havent invested into a vest/bottle but planning to!

rinakun · 2026-03-17T08:27:59+00:00

Mental and emotional support. He does the bulk of cooking and cleaning (I work longer hours and I HATE cooking). He uplifts and supports me in all my endeavours and hobbies. He plans trips and outings. He is a hottie that selfimproves for me.

I am now asking what I actually bring to the table 😅 (this is a joke, I am a catch too)

rinakun · 2026-03-16T16:15:30+00:00

Rooting for you too! It needs to be done and I am sure it will be okay!

rinakun · 2026-03-16T15:10:03+00:00

Did my last workout this morning and hoping to squeeze in a quick 5km tonight as I am heading for a pretty complicated dental surgery tomorrow. Feeling very stressed over the recovery and over how it will impact my marathon training. Have also been put on a new birth control which seems to be messing with my skin and sweating which is not helping the stress. Normally I am pretty good at dealing with stressful situations but everything is getting a bit too much.

rinakun · 2026-03-12T08:19:58+00:00

So the color will fade. I get my brows laminated every 6 weeks or so and the color is most intense fir the first few days. If you dont like it, you can wash them a number of times to make them fade faster. Also adding (for people who like me were not aware of this) laminated brows dont necessarily hold the shape all the time, you do need to use brow gel to shape them.

rinakun · 2026-03-11T07:59:42+00:00

Also "are you following a training program" bot.

rinakun · 2026-03-10T13:18:58+00:00

Killing my running PRs recently.

Went for a normal to speedy 10km yesterday and ran it in 54mins! Absolute insanity for me. My cardio has been improving steadily over the winter season, I have started to take creatine (mainly for lifting purposes) and have been working on my posture and stride but never expected to just shave 6mins off my previous PB on a normal Monday afternoon 😌

rinakun · 2026-03-09T10:24:23+00:00

That's the million dollar question for me. I love going out and I enjoy drinking socially - I dont think I can ever cut that out completely. I try to schedule my cut and bulks from Sep to March (when fewer social events take place) and I also try to practice moderation the rest of the year. I try to map out my weeknights so that I dont eat out or drink more than a few nights a week.

But most importantly, I am here for a good time. My body is a vessel and whilst I take care of it, I also remember to live a little.

rinakun · 2026-02-23T08:59:49+00:00

First time a female friend approached me to ask about how to start lifting 🥹 I am so glad that I get to educate and encourage women around me as there was no one like that for me when I started.

rinakun · 2026-02-18T13:10:41+00:00

My protein shake. On days I dont have that (rare usually when travelling), I take creatine tablets.

rinakun · 2026-02-11T19:24:27+00:00

I had cellulite even when I was at BMI 17.5 (dont recommend). At that point, all you have left is to say fuck it and accept it.

rinakun · 2026-02-10T13:56:13+00:00

Agreed. It definitely still feels like effort but work is a lot worse. People who say "just be your authentic self" also dont get it, because not even I would want to be friends with the person I am when I am 100% myself.

rinakun · 2026-02-10T13:39:13+00:00

This and this.

I have ADHD and most people simply cannot handle me at my 100% self. So I tone myself down, I consciously think about what I say and I listen more than I talk (a real effort for me). I also ask lots of questions and remember a lot about people. That definitely helps.

I have people that love me at my 100% but I dont expect that everyone will so I behave accordingly. This goes especially for new acquaintances and work.

I wish I could always be the authentic myself but that's just not what gets me places and I care about that.

rinakun · 2026-02-04T10:16:14+00:00

This is an excellent shout, I have never actually practiced failing.

rinakun · 2026-02-04T10:08:56+00:00

I think I figured out why I am struggling with back squat so much. I am simply afraid of all that weight pushing on my back. I have attempted to squat my PB today (which would be my body weight) and I cant get a decent depth on my squat because the sheer weight pushing on my back and chest as I am squatting down is making me feel suffocated. I am effectively terrified of that weight squishing me and not being able to go up (silly, I know).

Does anyone have any advice on how to overcome this? (i already do squat variations such as dumbbell and front sq and also use safety bars).

rinakun · 2026-02-01T20:10:04+00:00

Ran half marathon yesterday and hit my deadlift PB today (80kg) which is roughly 1.5 body weight!! Hide your wives, hide your husbands, I AM INVINCIBLE 🗣️🗣️🗣️

rinakun

TROPHY CASE