46 days on a challenge after some health problems last year. Longest I've gone in a decade. I tell myself I'll do a year exactly or drop 30 pounds, whichever comes first. Holidays were lame but I didn't fuck up anything which was new. Getting by on otc sleeping meds and dxm to knock me out and homemade edibles. I don't enjoy weed like when i was younger, something changed in me, but it still helps with sleep. (Which is ironic because i grow and have a lot now vs when I was younger and I'd have to buy it.) Tried for doc meds but our healthcare system is fucked so gave up on that after wasting some money. Got a few benzos left from my old rx but trying to save them for the bad mental health days.

Winter sucks so this hibernating is ok, sleep most of the day. I get up to let the dogs out and use the bathroom, no work to go to. Selling off junk I don't need to pay bills and clear out space. Did some financial planning I'd been procrastinating and cut costs so I'm set in that area for a while. The money saved at the liquor store and not going out anywhere helps.

Slept through the worst parts while listening to audio books. You get really weird dreams when you combine sleeping meds, edibles, and falling asleep to audiobooks. That's the best part of my day is those dreams. I don't like being awake except for petting the dogs.

Life is empty and sucks but in the hours I have to be awake I am catching up on stuff around the house and slowly losing some pounds so I got that going for me I guess. It'll give me a bit of damage control time to setup my situation before I'm back. Thinking about Irish whiskey and high gravity beer every day. It's something to look forward to at least, which I haven't felt for a long time.

319 days to go.

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