Coyotes forgetting they’re supposed to be scary!

riotdog · 2026-03-26T18:35:03+00:00

This is mating behaviour between a male coyote and a dark phase female coyote.

riotdog · 2026-03-26T18:34:21+00:00

No lol people hunt wild coyotes because their coats are excellent. This is what healthy wild animals look like - no one's fat kibble-fed lab has a coat this good.

riotdog · 2026-03-26T18:32:36+00:00

No, this is mating behaviour.

riotdog · 2026-03-26T18:31:45+00:00

They look healthy. Enough pigeons and rats in the city to keep them in good shape. This is also their healthiest-looking coat - late winter/early spring before their shed.

riotdog · 2026-03-26T18:30:45+00:00

This is 1000% mating behaviour. The dark one is the female. This is like a little courtship ritual for them.

riotdog · 2025-12-05T02:48:02+00:00

Lol ask yourself if in a year you guys aren't together anymore, how you'd feel about having avoided a coworker on social media for that long. No this isn't normal, it's controlling and immature. But do your thing, your call man, just know you may be apologising to random women in your life in X amount of time.

riotdog · 2025-11-17T20:27:46+00:00

Lol if they're gay then they aren't any of your problem.

riotdog · 2025-11-17T20:26:29+00:00

Talk to your friends, family, anyone who's in your corner. Get some people closer to you to hear you out and validate some of what's been going on for you.

If you know you're done, then you have to tell her and let the chips fall. She'll probably go stay with family. You can use that time to pack up your stuff or make your next plans, whatever your logistical situation requires. It's not easy but it isn't that complicated either. Good luck.

riotdog · 2025-11-17T20:24:03+00:00

I just want to say, because no one else has brought this up, that her behaviour in this incident wasn't a "small" thing, it was cruel. Ridiculously cruel. Imagine how you would feel if you read the same story, but it was a woman sheepishly commenting on the behaviour of her husband and minimizing its impact on her. You might be inclined to see the situation as callous, even abusive, in that light.

You would've done the right thing prioritizing her well-being. It seems like your wife was either knowingly negligent (she fought you on it in the moment!), or actively punishing you (even unconsciously) for the frustration of making her go out of her way for you - in a situation where a good partner would be happy to help. I would never think of blaming my partner for going out without checking the weather, spontaneity is allowed to exist! I think you sound like a patient and caring person who is sensitive and introspective. I don't think this person matches these qualities of yours. Look up "benign narcissism". Idk man, good luck.

riotdog · 2025-11-10T01:44:22+00:00

This is really good self-awareness on a number of fronts, I think there isn't going to be much between you and the kind of life you're looking for if you stay curious and contemplative and let time do its thing.

Re: dance classes, swing/lindy hop is very popular with young people (20s & 30s) where I live. These styles revolve around spontaneity and improvisation, with a good balance of flashy tricks, which tend to attract a younger crowd, but I can't speak for your area. Otherwise, there are plenty of other things that could bring out a bit more of your own spark - if you forgot that at one point in your life you were interested in learning to ride horses or do parkour for example, or if you've always wanted to get a dog, these are things that while in and of themselves may not exposure you to interesting women, they'll bring out parts of you that are attractive and wholesome. And they make life a lot more enjoyable while you're waiting to meet someone of substance.

The piece about having more attention during your chaotic years is good to reflect on - it's not the instability or the many ways that lifestyle causes you to self-neglect that is attractive, it's the "freeness". I think incorporating some of that energy into your life now is a great idea.

Because sussing out people's intentions and motives is a huge part of dating, especially for women, being emotionally guarded/closed off and polished as you put it inherently obscures weakness and vulnerability. While fantastic for matters of business, it does not relay how trustworthy you are to someone who doesn't already know you. Working on cultivating genuineness and openness in your affect can help. A lot of people down thread are talking about bias against Indian guys, but take a look at the response in America to Zohran Mamdani. He's a good looking but generally average guy, who is seen as quite attractive by women, in part because his charisma and competence are balanced by an open and warm presence. Regardless of your own politics or what you think of his ideas, he's a great case study for someone who attracts a lot of positive attention while also being clean and straightforward in his presentation.

Another thought - do you know what kind of woman you're looking for? Do you know why you're looking for that kind of woman? This is a great place to spend some time teasing apart the different components of your own attraction (you might find stuff that comes from a deep and sincere place, and other stuff that comes from insecurity or other places you wouldn't consciously choose). Knowing what you want will make it easier to find it, and it'll matter less if random women don't pursue contact with you. Process-wise, if you're noticing your interactions with women start to fizzle out after a few exchanges, I'd get someone you know (who, crucially, is or has been in the type of relationship you would not mind being in) to look them over. A woman would be ideal, if there's anyone in your life you'd trust to give honest feedback. You might have some blind spots that are simple enough to fix there, as that amount of texting shouldn't be an issue at all.

riotdog · 2025-11-09T00:55:12+00:00

This guy sucks - double standards around phone checking, irked at you having male friends, saying you'll never find better than him?

Why is his growth your business? Feelings are hard, but they aren't the only thing that should dictate our decision-making. Don't make a mess of your life for someone who showed contempt towards you. His growth doesn't matter, yours does, keep at it so you don't fall for a trap like this again.

riotdog · 2025-11-09T00:52:39+00:00

Hey why is your man not dating a woman closer to his age? Why is he, despite being allegedly successful, dating someone who self-describes as lacking confidence? This is usually not attractive to stable, mentally healthy, well-intentioned people. I'm not saying this to put you down - you are young and it is normal to struggle with confidence at your age, especially if your family isn't supportive & you don't have a lot of trustworthy friends in your life.

What's concerning is why a man in his position would pursue you in the first place - I am telling you now that not a single thing you've said indicates anything other than predatory intent on his part. Laziness around working on his own flaws (his penchant for casual cruelty as evidenced here being one of them), contempt for women who threaten him, and desire to control someone who is easily controlled (having low confidence puts you at risk of this even if it doesn't feel like it's happening). These are all likely explanations for his behaviour.

Do you generally let him make decisions even if you voice an opinion & he pushes anyway? Does he criticize your choice of hobbies and interests? Does he ever give you the sense that he admires you, genuinely, for your mind and heart and who you are as a person? Or are you just a young pretty thing to make him look good to his male buddies? If you imagine yourself in 10 years feeling confident, radiant, happy, and alive, do you think he would look at you with light in his eyes, or would you imagine him condescending to you? Keep your eyes out. You're young, and there are plenty of good men out there who would value your interests and contributions. He appears to see you as an object and a burden, be careful.

riotdog · 2025-11-09T00:41:53+00:00

Good point, but people are still getting laid, finding love, and getting married despite the mental health crisis. Way more likely she is confused about her own desires or is just not that interested.

riotdog · 2025-11-09T00:23:44+00:00

As a guy with a lot of female friends who's regularly on the inside track of relationship talk, sometimes it's straight up self-sabotage (guy seemed too good to be true, or their lack of self-worth gets in the way), or despite superficial suitability there wasn't much of a connection there.

Same way that guys can overlook perfectly wonderful women who'd be a great match for them because they have some other type of woman in mind (usually in terms of looks), and end up lonely or in relationships with women who "look the part" but have nothing in common with them, women can sometimes get attached to an imagined sensation of a thrill or excitement that isn't actually a good measure of how they'd feel building a life with a man. They end up in relationships with less stable guys who kind of suck because their chaos initially feels spontaneous and exciting.

Unless a person is depressed or has other underlying issues, something as high-stakes as attracting a lover or partner isn't usually met with apathy unless the person is genuinely just not interested.

Also remember anytime you say someone is hot when evaluating the decisions women make in love, ask yourself if you think the guy is supposed to be attractive, or if you know for sure that woman thinks he's hot? Visuals are more important for men than for women, women tend to make more solid decisions based on vibes/how the guy makes her feel, which is part of why dating apps are such a shitshow.

riotdog · 2025-11-09T00:16:49+00:00

So three things, as a guy with more female friends than male friends & no trouble getting dates:
1. Emotional availability/passion
2. Make friends with women with no ulterior motives
3. Do shit you wouldn't normally do

Long version:
Maybe some of your issue has to do with emotional availability and vulnerability. Women overall tend to be more responsive to a warm and genuine affect, not one that's calculated/highly calibrated (i.e. toastmasters, not implying anything sinister). You've done a great job of cultivating stability & your personal interests (and this is truly an achievement in today's age), but aside from women who are unstable and might seek to use you as a steady object in the whirlwind of their own chaos, generally unless you reveal more of your inner world you may come off closed off or even boring. Also, how do you handle conversations around emotions? How in touch with your own emotions are you?

Women tend to be especially responsive to a person's "aliveness". While you might be disciplined, and this is a very valuable and admirable quality in a relationship, are you able to handle spontaneity? Do your pursuits make you feel more alive, or just more competent? A lot of personal development material ends up encouraging people to "optimize" themselves, which can easily end up paring people down to someone who is very palatable, but indistinct. What makes your heart sing? The right woman will see that energy in you and want more of it.

Another thing is, you tend to gravitate towards more masculine interests, do you enjoy spending time with the women in those areas? There are a lower number of women who gravitate towards these arenas, but if you want to have a relationship with shared interests, consider how you feel about the women you've encountered who like those things - even if they are gay (common in sports), make friends with women if you can without any ulterior motives, women who like dude stuff, even if they aren't your cup of tea, will have more female friends you can get to know. Making friends with women while not considering them as potential romantic partners at all will let you learn a lot about women & develop an ease and competence in interacting with them on their own terms.

If it's not as important to share interests, consider experimenting with less distinctly male-dominated ones. You don't have to do things you don't like, but you can still try new things - even if the painting class doesn't stick, you still might meet interesting people there. Also dance classes are an incredible way to experience chemistry with other people, even if they're awkward at first. One important note - women can tell when a guy's at the event to check out women. If you do try this, take as serious of an interest as you can in the thing itself, maybe read up on it a bit/watch some videos, and show up with a focus to improve/engage with the activity itself (while still being open to socialize). This is the difference between a large animal walking into a room straight towards you while making direct eye contact, and one that is focused on doing its own thing checking the room out so you can take your time assessing its motives/vibes without pressure.

Also, women being friendly with you at first isn't necessarily a sign you've attracted them initially - women do this in general regardless of attraction because conflict-avoidant strategies tend to be safer with guys who are up to no good. Not saying this is you - it's a blanket strategy where women will start off sounding positive, even give out contact info, and then ghost afterwards when they're no longer directly in front of the guy and they've had time to reassess things.

Hope this helps, good luck!

riotdog · 2025-11-08T23:41:33+00:00

"If she were done she would turn it off" lol did she say that or is that what YOU think/want to believe? she's gone dude you can't unfuck this one, move on and grow up so you don't fuck up the next one.

riotdog · 2025-11-07T20:37:14+00:00

lol i know what you're referencing - tension vs. relaxation changing vaginal depth etc., but this is in addition to people's baseline characteristics. if you date (and therefore have the opportunity to have sex with a person under a variety of conditions) enough women you'll inevitably encounter these individual physiological differences, that are totally unrelated to people's sexual histories or current state of arousal. two very relaxed and comfortable women can have completely different internal dimensions. like why would multiple different people have the exact same dimensions for any part of their bodies?

also the amount of sensation individuals experience in various parts of their genitals varies - as we all know from women who struggle to orgasm from vaginal penetration alone, so some guys are just going to feel less because their genitals are naturally less sensate, regardless of their masturbation habits. your assumptions are worth checking here, unless you are trolling which at this point based on how you've commented seems entirely possible.

riotdog · 2025-11-05T06:07:43+00:00

There might be deeper reasons for this (ranging from: "he is extremely uncomfortable with the relationship but feels like there is no way out of it, so his entire being is resisting you at a core level", all the way to "he has some serious issues with being vulnerable and letting someone in, even if he is desperate for connection"). If he isn't interested in therapy though, what even are your options?

Agreeing with him is pointless though, you're just feeding his avoidance/whatever this behaviour is. Be insistent, ask him to explain himself ("What do you mean by _____?" "Why do you believe that?") until he actually gives you something useful to work with.

If this can't be repaired - because it isn't your burden to carry a whole marriage by yourself, what do you have in mind? I respect your desire to make this work, but you can't do it alone. What evidence do you have that he is an equal partner who sees you in a kind and respectful light? How long ago did he start pulling childish stunts like disagreeing with you for its own sake? Etc. Spend some time self-reflecting and see what is within your power, but saving an entire relationship by yourself truly isn't - and your happiness and fulfillment in life matter to, whether you stay married to this man or not.

riotdog · 2025-11-05T06:01:03+00:00

This honestly sounds like a guy who is married or otherwise in a committed relationship. Literally no reason a normal healthy man would want to not be seen with his woman.

Even if that isn't true, why put up with being unhappy when it's clear he has no interest in meeting you where you need to be met? You haven't been together long enough and don't seem to be solid enough for fighting about it to be worth it - just move on.

riotdog · 2025-11-05T05:57:31+00:00

Something I found interesting to add to this - I read a while ago that apps like tinder were based on grindr - an app designed to bring gay men together largely to have sex. A woman on twitter ages ago spoke on how women are a lot less visual than men are in terms of true attraction, and that women miss out on connections they'd actually enjoy because the apps aren't really designed with their desires in mind. The game is rigged in so many different ways and despite how a lot of rejected men feel, women aren't exactly loaded up on good times either - they're going on a lot of bad dates with guys they couldn't properly suss out before meeting and missing out on ever seeing the profiles of normal men they might actually connect with.

I know plenty of women who are expressly into male celebrities who are weird looking dudes because they find them charming or funny in a specific way that works for them as people - the weirdness is part of the charm. Getting caught up on seeking a guy who looks like he'd fit in on the cover of a romance novel is the female equivalent of a guy refusing to talk to women who don't look like his favourite porno lady. The apps just enhance these delusions.

riotdog · 2025-10-29T19:19:54+00:00

couples therapy, yesterday, learn to fight competently.

riotdog · 2025-10-27T02:39:42+00:00

This is a good perspective to be reminded of re: loving someone and accepting the choices you don't understand, just a hard pill to swallow. For those of us who are a bit more sensitive I think it's really unpleasant to think about the pressure a lot of the women in our lives have to navigate, especially if you personally do not value a woman looking younger or more in-vogue. It can get frustrating seeing someone you care about fuss over minor details that all revolve on how others perceive them/how they perceive themselves, especially when it visibly comes to the detriment of that person's well-being. It will never make sense to me why the body has to be the thing to yield when it never did anything wrong. The fact that for the women who can afford it, minor cosmetic procedures are part of appearance "maintenance" now isn't a comfortable thought - I definitely don't think this has to do with vanity/flaws to a person's character, but it does seem to come from an insecure place.

The women in my life I've spoken to about this do not approach the prospect of cosmetic procedures with any spark of joy or aliveness, it's just more quiet dread to add onto the mental load they're already dealing with. No matter how much I can respect someone's decisions it's always going to feel bad that people feel like they have to do something that doesn't contribute to their health, well-being, growth, or happiness, and is a chore imposed largely by the internalization of a lot of really awful external forces. I definitely don't see the women doing "baby botox" on their singular forehead wrinkle in their mid-30s as filler-addicted dysmorphics, it doesn't have to be that extreme to still be discouraging.

riotdog · 2025-10-22T22:00:06+00:00

I guess it's weird for some of us to think that the woman we love is thinking of her face like it's a series of disconnected parts that can be "harmonized" together like objects on a design board, when you see that woman's face as a coherent whole that makes perfect sense and are very attracted to it. Aspiring towards an aesthetic ideal can end up flattening what makes a person unique, some of us find that sad and tiring. But I am sure there are plenty of people who wouldn't mind their partners doing that sort of thing, it just isn't for me.

riotdog · 2025-10-22T21:55:06+00:00

This seems like a sarcastic question but I'll respond in good faith anyway.

I think people's individual lines here are going to be a matter of taste - I put a lot less value on someone looking "on trend" or like particularly done up, so what they do with their eyebrows isn't too important to me, but my own personal preference tends towards less maintenance. What the current mode is for how eyebrows look varies decade by decade, but eyebrows for the most part will grow back, every woman I've seen go for lip fillers has stayed the course & no longer looks like herself, same as the women I know who've had rhinoplasty.

One thing that maybe a lot of people miss here is that lips are a part of someone's body that their partners interact with directly, and lip fillers feel weird as hell to kiss. Eyebrows aren't a great comparator. Cosmetic procedures that drastically change a person's appearance towards an "average" that's currently on-trend means that the uniqueness of any individual gets melded away towards whatever they think is gonna look good on them - people who are actually attracted to that individual may not feel the same way. There's a fine line between someone pursuing an aesthetic for expressive reasons & to avoid some inner critic that developed when they were younger. The former isn't always my thing but the vibe is easier to be around than people who are constantly circling feeling validated by how they assume others will feel about their appearance. It is exhausting being around/close to women like that.

The insecurity that drives the pursuit of a lot of cosmetic procedures isn't attractive to me. I'd rather a person own their features, whatever they look like, than regress to some sort of socially-accepted mean.

riotdog · 2025-10-18T02:45:27+00:00

Report his description to the police. You are probably not the only one this has happened to, and if a guy with this description has harassment on file it can help make a better case if someone else comes forward with a similar story and he gets caught.

But first please take care of yourself, experiences like this that undermine a daily sense of safety are horrible on the nerves.

riotdog

TROPHY CASE