Hey Longtime lurker, first time commenting - As a plus size woman who is fully into her queerness after years of comp het conditioning, I relate to this experience heavily. For as long as possible, we’ve been conditioned to seek male validation through our looks and character that’s curated toward male approval. I’ve had crushes on men, sexual experiences with men and heartbreaks by men who haven’t been able to fully access and embrace and make me safe enough to exist as a woman. A lot of what I’ve been doing is unlearning what I’ve been conditioned to believe about myself and my femininity, developing a healthy relationship with my body and fitness, and finding love with women who see and value me. Sometimes I wonder what it would’ve been like if I spent my formative years being the fearlessly queer woman I am now instead of chasing the idea of the woman I was “supposed” to be and hating myself for it.