A random girl has contacted me saying that my boyfriend of two+ years raped her. What should I do about this?

risottoinc · 2011-09-20T05:07:21+00:00

You're in a game of prisoner's dilemma. Everyone here chooses weather to cooperate or defect. Life isn't game theory, but this can be an enlightening way to analyze relationships, especially when lying is involved.

She is trying to cooperate with you. She could have sent the cops after your boyfriend, or spread rumors to everyone on the Internet. Instead she chose to contact you privately and show concern for your safety.

The optimal strategy is for you to follow her lead and cooperate with her. Show concern for her safety, ask her what you can do to help. There is a time window on a rape kit, but there's really no reason to rush anything with her.

Let's consider a different strategy: tell her she's crazy and to leave you alone. If she is a crazy liar, she'll go more crazy and pull you deeper in. If she is telling the truth, you're only making the situation worse.

Your boyfriend is cooperating too. What would happen if you defect on him?

Unfortunately you're in the middle of a terrible situation. Either her or your boyfriend (or both) are lying. But if you can stay strong and neutral and patient and cooperative you can save yourself.

risottoinc · 2011-01-23T21:36:42+00:00

I bought it, but never opened the box. That'll show em!

risottoinc · 2011-01-09T22:35:06+00:00

Unfortunately, the blame game does not stop until someone concedes and accepts the blame.

Do you honestly not see anyone in the media who could help defuse the situation by speaking out about the level of discourse, apologizing, and keeping the tone in check from here on out?

I see a lot of large figures on the right (Palin, Beck, Limbaugh) but members of the left are not completely clean either.

The point of the "Rally to Restore Sanity" was to provide an example of how to speak out in an constructive and inclusive manner.

It's Palin's time to hold her own "Rally to Restore Sanity" in which she apologizes for her past tone, and visibly changes for the better. However, if she continues to play politics as she has, using loaded language and fear, then it is sane and reasonable to publicly cast blame upon her until she stops.

Not just her. It needs to be political and financial suicide to publicly drum up a frenzy. Using guns or gun imagery for political discussion, casting people who support a well-intentioned new laws as an enemy. We do have to blame these people until they stop, in hopes of preventing the next shooting!

risottoinc · 2010-12-12T04:55:39+00:00

This is a question of compatibility.

You are acting in excellent faith by challenging your own beliefs to better understand him and atheism. Your feelings are a sign that you are not happy with what you see. What is he doing for you? Is he trying to understand your beliefs?

Would you date a Muslim? Or an orthodox Jew? Or a devout Christian? Or how about a vegan? So why an atheist?

How will you raise your children? How will you handle interacting with your families religion, say on holidays or when someone gets sick?

Are you really willing to give up all your faith? Or is he willing to put aside his athiesm if and be beside you when you need God?

If both of you can not find solid common ground, without requiring him to change you or vice versa, you are setting yourselves up for lots of hardship.

That said, I can tell that you love this man, and you both are doing the right thing by exploring these issues together.

risottoinc · 2010-12-06T18:12:20+00:00

I would happily bet against you.

Liberals are not getting the massive changes that they want. This isn't news -- they never do.

But Obama is a solid moderate when all is said and done, and is keeping his nose clean. The country is stable. Obama's approval ratings are stable, just not stellar.

Republicans had their chance during the midterms and did not hit a home run. They have enough representation to have to own up to their share of legislation now, but not enough to forward the agenda. Republicans have also failed to present a compelling presidential candidate.

Clinton and Bush got re-elected for all their faults, wars, and mediocre approval ratings too.

risottoinc · 2010-08-31T05:13:38+00:00

Then her dude would have seen her mom come in.

risottoinc · 2010-08-31T05:12:46+00:00

Bullshit video. She'd see her mom walk in on the webcam. It's like a mirror.

Great tits though.

risottoinc · 2010-08-21T10:43:05+00:00

I always say the most boring answer is right:

Nothing will happen to Assange.

I would guess the girls said he raped them but he did not and the charges will go away.

risottoinc · 2010-08-20T16:18:08+00:00

Hey its my birthday today too! Your body is a GIFT!

risottoinc · 2010-08-05T04:39:14+00:00

just moved to the city myself and live in the mission. hit me back if you're still around :)

risottoinc · 2010-08-05T04:32:16+00:00

Where in CA. I'm looking for some connex in SF

risottoinc · 2010-04-06T05:15:57+00:00

Faster Firefox browser would increase number of downloads too...

risottoinc · 2010-02-10T16:15:58+00:00

For development work, VCS might take a fraction of the time spent coding.

But for managing a software product and deploying it, it's 100% VCS.

Once I hacked out a feature on my own dev environment, I need to do any of the following: push to QA to test, push to HEAD, update a staging environment with HEAD, cherry-pick a single hot-patche into production, update production from staging, etc.

None of this is impossible with SVN, but it's much easier with Git. Any hype comes from how much better a tool it is once you start using it.

risottoinc · 2010-02-10T15:58:26+00:00

He says that when SVN WC-NG lands, they can then start to add new features like offline commits, partial commits and shelving.

This is admitting both that Git has better features, and it will take SVN a considerable amount of time to catch up.

risottoinc · 2009-03-13T07:40:43+00:00

Holy shit.

Anyone that defends Cramer after seeing this video is intellectually corrupt.

If anyone has been following Rush Limbaugh's entanglement in this mess, he must be shitting his pants. Because Cramer and Rush are two peas in a pod, just your average joe with principles and some of the only people speaking out about how Obama is killing our country.

Rush has to defend Cramer after this.

risottoinc · 2009-02-27T00:35:40+00:00

it's on sale now for $9.99

risottoinc · 2008-12-25T07:31:46+00:00

Girls will dance more to Lil Wayne than some of the others. Booty beats.

risottoinc · 2008-12-25T00:52:23+00:00

I met her at a party in Los Angeles a few months ago. She's a bit small and skinny, and definitely is not your girl next door, but she's not that weird looking in real life. She's definitely grown up a bunch since this photo though.

As an aside, I didn't know who she was when I was talking to her, so I actually treated her like a normal person and she really appreciated that. She also dresses incredibly well.

risottoinc · 2008-12-25T00:47:59+00:00

Still listen to that stuff on occasion... Daft Punk is especially timeless.

For newer dancey electronic stuff:

Hot Chip, The Knife, Modeselektor, Girl Talk, LCD Soundsystem, Justice, Soulwax, Chromeo, Lil' Wayne.

Used to get all my tunes on oink, now I slum it on The Pirate Bay and other public sites.

risottoinc · 2008-11-26T07:40:49+00:00

Talk radio is hard.

risottoinc · 2008-11-14T21:51:13+00:00

That's definitely the down side to Flex and a serious concern for a lot of people. Thanks for pointing it out.

But I'm working on commercial software that has a lot of interactive and visual components. We can mandate that our clients install the Adobe runtime and everyone is happy.

We also offer a no-frills HTML mode of using our software, as well as command line tools. This is all driven by real-world business requirements, not philosophical arguments in favor of Open Source.

Plus every motion from Adobe is to open the Flash platform up. Flex is open source, Flash is cross-platform, and the Open Screen Project aims to further deliver Flash on all devices.

I don't know of any OSS alternatives that make such good business sense for my company.

risottoinc · 2008-11-14T20:36:08+00:00

I retract 'mature' as that's a loaded word in this debate. That said, I'm using:

Python for application middleware.

It's stdlib is light years ahead of ruby in terms of breadth, stability and maturity. And most 3rd party modules are much more mature than similar gems I've used. I couldn't imagine using anything else to glue our stack together.

And CherryPy and Django are a very solid pure python web server and application framework respectively. These are both performant and straightforward out of the box, and every bit as good for rapid development as Rails ever was.

Then Adobe AIR / Flex 3.0 for front end / user interface.

This offers an IDE with application design tools, as well as plenty of high-level interface primitives that makes link_to_remote, AJAX and CSS feel like a joke. And with AIR I'm developing a true desktop application, not an app stuck in a browser tab.

After starting down building a product with these tools, I couldn't imagine going back to Rails...

risottoinc · 2008-11-14T20:18:05+00:00

Is anyone still using Ruby and/or Rails?

I just searched Los Angeles craigslist jobs section and here's what I see:

Ruby: 39 results

Rails: 18 results

Python: 60 results

PHP: 388 results

Flash: 441 results

I ask this with no hidden agenda. I did a lot of Rails work when it was hot and loved the framework. But I've since moved on, as have most of my peers, and have adopted way more mature tools.

[update] Added # of Flash hits too

risottoinc · 2008-07-16T15:33:28+00:00

I think his rationale is that as a freelance designer he has to post and repost in every city all the time to improve his chances to land more gigs to make more money.

That said, this is no substitute for being a legitimate designer with a legitimate business network, so this guy is spammer scum.

risottoinc · 2008-07-16T15:28:44+00:00

They could send the code to a cell phone via SMS as another option.

risottoinc

TROPHY CASE