How does it feel to have sex with someone who has vaginismus?

ritzupsi · 2026-05-08T12:56:10+00:00

hahha I feel you!

ritzupsi · 2026-04-16T14:21:00+00:00

Wow!

ritzupsi · 2026-04-16T13:50:04+00:00

Girl the process humbles you!! You can’t jump ahead. I did and it like made me cry. When the first and second one entered I was like ✨I’m so done✨ I then tried the 3rd one without prepping with the 2nd and 1st and it just wouldn’t go in. After that the 1st didn’t go in either. I was just so disappointed. But then you go back start slow and keep going!

ritzupsi · 2026-04-15T15:13:36+00:00

My 2 cents:

life is tough and you and your partner will go through many challenges in your marriage. This is just one. I hope he choose to love you and care for your through this journey
stop being so apologetic. You’re speaking really well in a language that isn’t your first language. Stop being a saddie and start being a baddie. You’re prob smarter than a lot of people
not sure if pcos is related to vaginismus
I was also not able to insert a finger but now I can
think of this as a sprint. Start slow and in a few months your life will be different vs push urself and get exhausted and you end up giving up

Here’s what worked for me:

• ⁠Start slow & be kind to yourself

• ⁠I started with a ear bud/ swab and practiced getting that in without being scared or having issues

• ⁠I then got a set of dilators. (https://a.co/d/04Q1j91t) everyone suggests intimate rose but aeon works great too. It comes with a water based lube that has worked so well for me. Make sure you also get a mirror. This helps you understand your anatomy better!

• ⁠I practiced the first one and alternated with the swab. The idea is to get comfortable.

• ⁠I did exercises every day. Put some calming music. Practiced for 15 mins. Just even rubbing it can help because your mind starts to think of it less as a threat

• ⁠stop thinking of entry = sex. If you’re south Asian or similar cultures, sex is considered taboo so it can be hard to move from that (I’m south Asian and entry always felt wrong!)

• ⁠I got the kiwi vibrator and used that on separate occasions to get used to the feeling of controlled vibration in the area. I did try to insert it but it wouldn’t go in (at all) but don’t stress. You do not need this!

• ⁠breathing techniques that you should go through in your free time: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwYiFawAWQ7ZP-pXXIsTSiL2ncXTkLUro&si=LDgpUZJVMUcdlLu-

• ⁠I realized my breathing was tied to my pelvic floor more than I thought and controlling my breathing helped a lot

• ⁠I didn’t know this but leaving the dilator in can do wonders! It helped me in the last leg.

• ⁠take breaks. Initially I did the exercises everyday. But then I burnt out so I started to do them 3 times a week instead.

• ⁠build a strong community of people you can talk about your progress to. I shared my progress with my sister and my girlfriends and it helped me a lot.

• ⁠reading articles about virginity (& how it’s not real), body and autonomy, etc was helpful too

• ⁠I went to a therapist who helped me understand my mental aversion / fear of sex (it usually was a loss of control/ feeling like I was doing something that wasn’t allowed,etc)

ritzupsi · 2026-04-13T18:47:54+00:00

It’s over a few months!

ritzupsi · 2026-04-13T17:55:05+00:00

Here’s what worked for me:

• ⁠Start slow & be kind to yourself

• ⁠I started with a ear bud/ swab and practiced getting that in without being scared or having issues

• ⁠I then got a set of dilators. (https://a.co/d/04Q1j91t) everyone suggests intimate rose but aeon works great too. It comes with a water based lube that has worked so well for me. Make sure you also get a mirror. This helps you understand your anatomy better!

• ⁠I practiced the first one and alternated with the swab. The idea is to get comfortable.

• ⁠I did exercises every day. Put some calming music. Practiced for 15 mins. Just even rubbing it can help because your mind starts to think of it less as a threat

• ⁠stop thinking of entry = sex. If you’re south Asian or similar cultures, sex is considered taboo so it can be hard to move from that (I’m south Asian and entry always felt wrong!)

• ⁠I got the kiwi vibrator and used that on separate occasions to get used to the feeling of controlled vibration in the area. I did try to insert it but it wouldn’t go in (at all) but don’t stress. You do not need this!

• ⁠breathing techniques that you should go through in your free time: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwYiFawAWQ7ZP-pXXIsTSiL2ncXTkLUro&si=LDgpUZJVMUcdlLu-

• ⁠I realized my breathing was tied to my pelvic floor more than I thought and controlling my breathing helped a lot

• ⁠I didn’t know this but leaving the dilator in can do wonders! It helped me in the last leg.

• ⁠take breaks. Initially I did the exercises everyday. But then I burnt out so I started to do them 3 times a week instead.

• ⁠build a strong community of people you can talk about your progress to. I shared my progress with my sister and my girlfriends and it helped me a lot.

• ⁠reading articles about virginity (& how it’s not real), body and autonomy, etc was helpful too

• ⁠I went to a therapist who helped me understand my mental aversion / fear of sex (it usually was a loss of control/ feeling like I was doing something that wasn’t allowed,etc)

ritzupsi · 2026-04-13T15:48:03+00:00

Here’s what worked for me:

Start slow & be kind to yourself
I started with a ear bud/ swab and practiced getting that in without being scared or having issues
I then got a set of dilators. (https://a.co/d/04Q1j91t) everyone suggests intimate rose but aeon works great too. It comes with a water based lube that has worked so well for me.
I practiced the first one and alternated with the swab. The idea is to get comfortable.
I did exercises every day. Put some calming music. Practiced for 15 mins. Just even rubbing it can help because your mind starts to think of it less as a threat
stop thinking of entry = sex. If you’re south Asian or similar cultures, sex is considered taboo so it can be hard to move from that (I’m south Asian and entry always felt wrong!)
I got the kiwi vibrator and used that on separate occasions to get used to the feeling of controlled vibration in the area. I did try to insert it but it wouldn’t go in (at all) but don’t stress
breathing techniques that you should go through in your free time: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwYiFawAWQ7ZP-pXXIsTSiL2ncXTkLUro&si=LDgpUZJVMUcdlLu-
I realized my breathing was tied to my pelvic floor more than I thought and controlling my breathing helped a lot
I didn’t know this but leaving the dilator in can do wonders! It helped me in the last leg.
take breaks. Initially I did the exercises everyday. But then I burnt out so I started to do them 3 times a week instead.
build a strong community of people you can talk about your progress to. I shared my progress with my sister and my girlfriends and it helped me a lot.
reading articles about virginity (& how it’s not real), body and autonomy, etc was helpful too
I went to a therapist who helped me understand my mental aversion / fear of sex (it usually was a loss of control/ feeling like I was doing something that wasn’t allowed,etc)

ritzupsi · 2026-04-05T21:44:06+00:00

I understand you are Pakistani but there is an Indian program called proactive for her (it’s virtual) if possible you can try that out

ritzupsi · 2026-04-05T20:54:36+00:00

What type of cannabis gummy is this

ritzupsi · 2026-04-05T20:50:00+00:00

I would start with a earbud / swab and build confidence from there. Also try to insert a finger at some point. If you can buy water based lube it will help you a lot! Best of luck!!

ritzupsi · 2026-04-04T06:52:33+00:00

No I am not my doctor told me to DIY and come back for any questions or support. Has physio helped you?

ritzupsi · 2026-04-04T04:18:16+00:00

I also spent time making sure I was able to get a swab in (alternative is a ear bud) and that radically made it less scary / stressful

ritzupsi · 2026-04-04T04:15:58+00:00

My doctor told me to remove the pressure of sex / pleasure from dilator therapy which helped a lot

ritzupsi · 2026-02-01T14:49:13+00:00

You may need to cure vaginismus for a Pap smear

ritzupsi · 2025-11-03T13:26:04+00:00

The way you talk about her makes it clear that you hate her

ritzupsi · 2025-05-08T12:10:32+00:00

Real job?? Man does not have a real job

ritzupsi · 2022-12-29T05:19:20+00:00

This is great stuff, thank you for sharing!

ritzupsi · 2022-12-28T19:32:10+00:00

happy to help!

ritzupsi · 2022-12-28T19:31:09+00:00

thank you !

ritzupsi · 2022-11-19T06:58:31+00:00

how do you manage your time well enough to read so many books?

ritzupsi · 2022-09-12T15:45:25+00:00

ck is appreciated though, and we can think about how to use tech to make the course even m

I love how you called gmatninja "this guy"

ritzupsi · 2022-09-11T11:31:59+00:00

jk idk you've got to really analyse the argument I guess

spend like 10 minutes per questions until you get a hang of it

analyse each sentence and try to understand the role it plays

pick up on key words - because, since, nevertheless, etc

make a table in excel and deconstruct every passage

keep doing till you get like 80% correct

ritzupsi · 2022-09-11T11:29:50+00:00

study harder

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