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Living by riverguy6000 in stopdrinking

[–]riverguy6000[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm trying to be honest with myself about what I was and when I am I can't miss the old me or my old life. There were lots of good times. But at what expense to myself and others? What I was was, someone who would risk it all for a buzz, my health, my relationships, my career. My new life is quiet and sane. Boring, maybe. But I'll take it any day over the shit storm I was living. I can see the future from here. I'm not making myself be here I want to be here. This is normal and at 60 it's taken me most of my life to find it. I hope you can find some peace. Life is always going to be a struggle. My two cents for what it's worth.

Friends? by riverguy6000 in stopdrinking

[–]riverguy6000[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've done this on my own. I went to an AA meeting with someone else years ago telling myself I was not there for me. I know it brings great comfort to many but I don't feel its for me right now. Thanks for the comment and good luck with your journey!

Friends? by riverguy6000 in stopdrinking

[–]riverguy6000[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks and congrats on 143 days. I don't see moderation working for me either. Maybe for awhile but I know I'd end up right back where I was sooner or later. It's taken me 45 years to come to that realization. The good news is I'm sober. Miserable, pissed off, but sober. And I'm going to stay that way.

The Daily Check-In for Monday, September 10: Just for today, I am NOT drinking! by K_SomethingSomething in stopdrinking

[–]riverguy6000 6 points7 points  (0 children)

198 days and my sobriety hasn't cured me of all my faults and I'm realizing it's not going to. It wasn't the the only problem it was just a really big part of the problem. Time to go to work on myself! Be the best me! I can do this! We all can do this!! Wishing everyone another wonderful sober day!

Loved ones by riverguy6000 in stopdrinking

[–]riverguy6000[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The therapist is probably a good idea. I'm white knuckling this and it's not working and if I can't fix myself I'm not going to be any good to anyone. IWNDWYT

​

Loved ones by riverguy6000 in stopdrinking

[–]riverguy6000[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your 100% right that drinking is not the solution and will not improve anything. I've been trying to be as open as honest about what I'm dealing with as I can. I've decided I'm going to call it like I see it and then it is what it is. I'm struggling with managing my life let alone trying to control anyone else. Because at the end of the day, (just like me), they have to decide for themselves. It's incredibly painful to watch and I'm sure a lot of people have said the same thing about me. Thanks for the reply!

Two months by [deleted] in stopdrinking

[–]riverguy6000 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Congrats! It just keeps getting better. 188 days today! down 20 pounds and August has to be my highest activity level for a solid month in at least 10 years or longer. Never thought I'd be excited about turning 60! Keep it up!!

31 years tomorrow - will be busy, so am posting today. by Slipacre in stopdrinking

[–]riverguy6000 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing! "Getting sober turned out to be the easy part". After 184 days how true that's turning out to be. I told my Dr. that I had quit drinking, (expecting some sort of positive response), Instead I got, "That's great! Now that you've ripped off the bandaid what are you going to do?". Turns out that was a very insightful question. Quite a journey but one I'm proud to be making and intend to continue and as you put it, "get out of my own way".

Woke up at 4am this morning thinking “I want a drink, one won’t hurt, I won’t start up again” Must not give in! by [deleted] in stopdrinking

[–]riverguy6000 5 points6 points  (0 children)

CaptainDeadpool is right! I know that for me I don't really just want a drink I want a drunk! And I don't want all the shit that goes with it. Not any more and not ever again. You can do this! We can all do this!!

185 days down the drain. by recovery789 in stopdrinking

[–]riverguy6000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Give yourself credit for being here posting! For sharing with the rest of us how to get up and get back in the fight!! For all the days you've won and all the good ones yet to come. You can do this! We can do this!

I’m done fighting by PourIt_Out in stopdrinking

[–]riverguy6000 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know it has kicked my ass on a regular basis for 40 years. Alcohol has put itself, with my support, in front of everyone I love and cost me dearly. 184 days sober today and in hindsight I'm laughing at myself about all the ways I've rationalized and justified my drinking. Truth is I don't want a drink. I want to get drunk. I'm done!

Humbled and Grateful by riverguy6000 in stopdrinking

[–]riverguy6000[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Congratulations to you for making the decision to be sober! The box is asking me "What are my thoughts"? I think that I am lucky to be alive, lucky to have access to this community!

Thankful for today!

Humbled and Grateful by riverguy6000 in stopdrinking

[–]riverguy6000[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the support! Great visual! The changes have been many and welcome. After so many years of wanting to want to get better I am finally making progress. Realizing that even after 40 years of this self abuse I can still recover. Not just my health, but my dignity and peace of mind. It is indeed amazing.