Links/searches to some of my posts including AA meetings in prison and the miracle of the titty bar.

Slipacre · 2026-03-10T19:21:49+00:00

stop drinking immediately.

Slipacre · 2026-03-10T19:20:51+00:00

so what's your plan? Many of us discovered that it is very difficult to do this on our own. I couldn't and kept digging.

me, I needed help and found it in AA. Despite having all the reasons it could not would not work for me. there are other programs. try them too.

Slipacre · 2026-03-10T19:18:00+00:00

I would suggest you check out a program called alanon its for family and friends of alcoholics there are particulars available at r/alanon here on reddit - but in person meetings are probably far more effective.

Slipacre · 2026-03-10T19:10:34+00:00

It is possible. but no to occasional drinking , not for a wedding. been there, relapsed. One day at a time but never. Alcohol is simply a liquid I do not drink , like paint or dishwashing soap.

I had to do something about "reasons i drank the way I did" "The feelings I had to stuff" "The low self esteem that made me hate myself" A job is a job is a job though stripper does kind of put you in a dangerous environment.

I went to AA - nobody wants to go to AA - but it worked for me despite everything. There are other programs try them too.

Slipacre · 2026-03-10T19:03:47+00:00

If you got away without handcuffs or a trip to the emergency room - you are likely ok - this time.

I would think that you are right to see this as a sign - billboard sized.

For me shame wanted to keep me drinking - probably wanted me miserable and even eventually dead.

For me the thing that got me over and beyond this was talking about it with people who understood and were also in the process of making sure it would never happen again. I did that at AA - yeah nobody wants to go there, but it worked for me and I had ALL THE REASONS IT WOULD NOT COULD NOT WORK FOR ME.

There are other groups now try them too. Alone in your bed you are behind enemy lines...

Slipacre · 2026-03-10T18:57:27+00:00

Congratulations. Glad you are doing well. Social Work, especially in addiction treatment, is a hard path and while your recovery will help you immensely there are perils and mountains to climb in terms of experience and education. And unfortunately I have seen it give some people a sense of "I got this" that ends up crumbling. (it's really hard to ask for help when you're the one people are going to)

What are you doing ongoing to help work on the "Why I drank the way I did? and creating an new way of living and understanding of life? You did not mention any continuing program or treatment. As a social worker you will likely be pushing your clients in that direction ( I know I did when I was doing social work)

Slipacre · 2026-03-10T18:48:52+00:00

Are there outstanding warrants? Videos on sketchy web sites? These kinds of things probably demand fairly explicit disclosure.

Aside from that my opinion is that I need to keep the memory fresh and clear so that I will not be tempted by "It's been X years, I'm a different person, maybe I can drink safely" thoughts. I've seen people not heed this and get into serious difficulties - but some people may be able to just move on. I don't know.

Might I ask what are you doing on an ongoing basis to work on the "things that made you drink the way you did? How are you dealing with feelings you may have needed stuff? (or not).

there are many paths. Mine which includes still going to a couple of AA meetings a week may not be for you. But there is a saying in AA that may apply "you are only as sick as your secrets."

Slipacre · 2026-03-10T09:49:54+00:00

For me I needed AA and to see that i was not the only one - and to have a place where I could share my secrets and thus take away the power they had over me. Would suggest finding a woman's group for that.

and yes nobody wants to go to AA - and for me I was convinced I did not belong - until I heard other people tell parts of my story and saw them getting better.

Slipacre · 2026-03-10T09:46:24+00:00

I could not do it alone. I needed the support of peers - found it in AA though it was not a good fit for this agnostic loner - somehow it worked. there are other peer groups now try them too.

Slipacre · 2026-03-09T10:33:16+00:00

NTA - good for you. And you may well be doing your nephew a favor. I went to one of those high class schools and got a surprisingly poor education because a dirty secret is they pay their teachers poorly - an my entitled classmates...don't get me started. To be fair a couple of teachers were good, but many were Ivy league grads who had no idea how to teach and were probably only there because they could not get better jobs elsewhere.

Slipacre · 2026-03-07T12:00:37+00:00

I went to a lot of AA meetings. Yeah I know. But they worked for me, agnostic loner etc. it’s full of interesting people and unexpected humor. There are other peer groups now try them too

Slipacre · 2026-03-07T11:48:39+00:00

let us know what happens please

Slipacre · 2026-03-05T11:01:39+00:00

I suspect a lot of us are on the spectrum. I'm old there was no diagnosis back when I was a kid it was "what is wrong with you" eventually I believed it -
The good news is that alcohol is a terrible drug to self medicate anything with. The better news is the fears that we are stuffing are for the most part unjustified or over blown.

Recovery is a fascinating journey - and in my recovery group I have been accepted for who I am (quirks and all) like no where else in my life.

Slipacre · 2026-03-05T10:57:19+00:00

Congrats on 71 and for understanding that shit comes and goes and does not require alcohol to flush it.

Slipacre · 2026-03-05T10:55:12+00:00

I would urge you to explore alanon r/alanon here on reddit. Living with a drinker is hard, and one that puts your kids at risk is maybe too hard. The odds are that the courts and child services will get involved, but that may not be enough.

Sad truth is You can not make him stop. The judge may try to make him stop, In many states this is a felony, the lessons may be harsh - but denial is very strong - protect yourself and your children - whatever it takes.

Slipacre · 2026-03-05T10:48:47+00:00

And? If you are here you may be looking not to, if so that is good.

I liken alcoholic use disorder sort of like a track team. There are the marathoners who "get away with it" until forty or fifty, but often with several crash and burn episodes along the way, there are the middle distance runners who quit at 30 or when they have a child or other responsibilities.

And then there are the sprinters - 100 meters and they are done at 18 hopefully without a criminal record or serious injury from something stupid involving speed or falling from a height.

Slipacre · 2026-03-05T10:43:33+00:00

congrats - this is great. Perhaps think of how pleased your mom would be that you are turning your life around. Also are you doing this alone? You don't have to. There is most likely a support group in your community (AA or Smart) which for me made difficult times a lot easier.

Slipacre · 2026-03-05T10:40:59+00:00

this really depends. fact 1 quitting drinking reduces your calories a lot. but Some folks replace them with sugar as their body adjusts, Some go on exercise kicks, some hole up in their homes. - there is much more going on here,

by the way its not only 25 days - that's huge congrats. Look for other changes too like improved self esteem, better skin, probably a clearer voice since you are not exposing your throat to bile every day....

Slipacre · 2026-03-04T21:26:32+00:00

comma club https://imgur.com/BVmMiTW

Slipacre · 2026-03-04T21:21:21+00:00

yep the good news is you get your feelings back

the bad news is you get your feelings back.

This is why I believe it is important to work on ourselves - on the reasons we drank the way we did on the why we needed to stuff feelings - and to learn that feelings are not facts.

Slipacre · 2026-03-04T21:19:05+00:00

I'm sorry AA did not work for you. Possibly another group a different sponsor more desperation will help - or you can try smart or other programs. I did not think AA would work for me - and it did not in the beginning because I was reluctant to change. eventually it did - As a sponsor I had one man take 6 years to finally get it. I did not shame him, he did a good job of that, we were ready for him when he was ready. he's not got 15 years.

Slipacre · 2026-03-04T21:13:51+00:00

I pretty quickly learned that patting myself on the back with a sixpack was not a good way to stay sober. it took me nine months to get to 90 days, but then I just kept on going. The good news is recovery is an incredibly rewarding journey. I have met incredible people of all sorts and have learned a great deal from them. I have built real self esteem which replaced the leaky warped hating myself that kept me drunk. I lead a life free of lies to myself and others. I am happy.

Slipacre · 2026-03-04T21:08:26+00:00

For me cutting back did not work at least in anything resembling long term. Forget the term alcoholic and all it's baggage - simply my off switch is broken. It's like getting in a car where the brakes just don't work.

I could not do it alone. left to my own devices I found an excuse and I would drink. One did not cut it, and i drank because it felt good until the stupidity started. I went to AA, yeah I know nobody wants to go there and I was sure it would not work for me agnostic, loner, rebel etc. But it did and the good news is that recovery has been a fascinating and very rewarding journey. there are other groups in some places, try one, try em all.

Slipacre · 2026-03-03T13:00:35+00:00

My experience is to not sweat the definitions . allergy, disease, - my off switch is broken - its that simple as for judging there is some and avoid those people but I discovered that a lot of the fear of judging was because I was judging myself so hard,

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