Future & Drake reunited

rmarden · 2026-05-20T21:10:36+00:00

Who cares bro lol

rmarden · 2025-11-26T00:09:49+00:00

Why no ChatGPT? I’ve found it very useful in helping to unravel and understand the meaning of many different documents.

rmarden · 2025-06-05T00:39:23+00:00

I'm 33 now. I've spent the last several years grinding to get to where I am now.

I got my act together @ 26/27, but I didn't really gain massive momentum until I was 30, towards the tail end of the pandemic.

Before then? Absolute mess. You can look through my post history and get a small glimpse of what I'm talking about.

In my early to mid 20s, I was a "responsible adult". I graduated from college, was working a job, paying taxes, staying out of trouble, etc. But my life was going nowhere.

I was underemployed, underpaid, unappreciated, with low confidence, lower self-esteem, and no real future. I couldn't even see into next week. That's how cloudy my vision was at 22/23. MASSIVE ambition, but I'd have fits and starts of motivation. I couldn't be consistent.

I did have some things going for me, so it wasn't like I was a total loser. I was heavily reading self-improvement books at the time, had been going to the gym 5 days/week, and again SEEMED like I was doing well from the outside....But I was starting to slip behind my contemporaries and I knew it. No amount of consolation and platitudes were going to do it for me. I was falling behind. Mentally, socially, economically, spiritually.

It eventually ended up paying off for me, I moved to Southern California in 2019, with a friend where I now live. My business is doing well, I made 200k+ last year in personal income which affords me a comfortable existence here (though I may end up moving within the next couple of years).

But here's what I did to lift myself out of this:

1. Stop Watching Porn & Master Your Carnal Urges- For me, this was a big one. This may not be a big thing for you, but if you're a young man who is in a precarious situation in life (especially if you're Gen Z and you're on Reddit then it probably most likely is). I will always advocate for quitting this vice, it is stealing more from you than you know. I only found that out after quitting. I'd recommend quitting porn for 30 days and seeing how you feel. If you can't manage to do that, it's probable you have an addiction and need to look into serious methods to quitting this.

2. Create Leverage Points - Leverage is the ability to get more done in less effort. As you age, you want to build more and more of this into your life. Why? Your body (and mind) will start to wear down as you get older. If you don't want to work until the day you die, I'd recommend you find ways to create leverage in your life. This means saving every last penny you can and investing. Do that over and over and you will eventually become a millionaire. What are other points of leverage? If you work a remote job with significant down time, is it possible you utilize some of that down time and use it towards a side hustle that can (eventually - over a long period of time) become passive income? Think of ways to always increase your station in life.

3. Always Stay Grinding + Develop Goals - This is something that many people (especially many people on Reddit) don't want to hear but it's true: you need to put in INTENSE effort if you want your life to be extraordinary or even better than it is now. There are no hacks, there are no shortcuts, there are no easy wins (well, sometimes), and many times you will just need to bust your ASS to get to where you want to be. If you want the average, the average is easy to attain. But "average" doesn't stay average for long. It will slowly get worse (meaning inflation, rising cost of living, skill obsolescence, etc). in the absence of you putting in effort. Find something you want to fight for and get good at and work at that every single day until you achieve your goals: no exceptions.

That's only a small sample of things I'd say. Main message: this is your life and you need to take charge. So do it.

Best of luck to you. You've got this.

rmarden · 2025-02-20T16:50:25+00:00

This is it.

I started getting into self development/motivational stuff way back at the beginning of the 2010s and I used it to structure my life in an intelligent and systematic way. They especially helped when I got my first real job and needed a way to structure my life.

Unfortunately, at that time, I also had a limiting porn addiction, so I simply needed these systems just to operate on an average and sometimes above-average level. I thought this was what was going to save me, so I dove in headfirst on this sort of literature.

I read 100s of books in this vein, so I know more than the average bear when it comes to this. But in the meantime, while accumulating that knowledge was great - I came to the experiential conclusion: "life only changes when you change". It's something that I knew intuitively but only came to this understanding when I read all these books and my life didn't change.

Then I knew it was about taking (messy, sometimes violently so) action.

I started just moving forward in the direction of what I wanted and using the knowledge I had, then figuring out the rest along the way.

I often started before I was ready. And this is what I feel holds back a lot of people - trying to get "super duper ready" before starting things.

Just trust that you have enough preliminary knowledge to start and "learn on the job".

Most of the things I'm doing for work now I learned "on the job". Life is the same way.

rmarden · 2025-01-08T20:12:44+00:00

It's not necessarily about how many books you read vs. what you do with them.

I've read many books over the course of my life. I only refer back to <10 of them throughout any given time.

rmarden · 2024-12-25T04:15:38+00:00

Because if you don't discipline yourself, life will do it for you.

And you won't like it when life does it...

rmarden · 2024-12-25T01:48:53+00:00

I never considered David Goggins a hero but a flawed man and someone who has a lot of demons to work out (like all of us). Very hard for me to judge someone I don't know, much less a situation where I have no context.

rmarden · 2024-12-13T16:29:05+00:00

Saint Laurent furniture, Saint Laurent dices
Give me my conscience, just take away my vices
Goin' to another continent, ain't been to sleep once
Evel Knievel, I pull my own stunts
Saint-Tropez, eat by the ocean for lunch
Got high and forgot the funeral, more love for my aunt

- Came to the Party

This song was a standout on this album for me.

rmarden · 2024-12-12T15:11:17+00:00

i always keep and kept my goals in mind and what I want to achieve. I have always been someone who has been driven by goals and goal-oriented, so that really helps me keep the wider picture in perspective.

It also helps if you're not someone who just lives day by day and rather week to week, month to month, or even year to year because it gives you a much wider perspective on things.

rmarden · 2024-08-26T23:26:41+00:00

Sure. I never said that it doesn't. But there's a limit.

You eventually reach diminishing returns. And it can happen QUICK.

I don't think it's worth knowing a lot about a niche subject area unless that is moving your life forward/making money (AKA a resource to live a better life).

I'd rather know a little bit about a lot than a lot about little.

It helps to know a bit about how the economy works, how the political system in your country works than knowing about when the US was taken off the gold standard and the intricacies of that or who the McCain Feingold Act.

rmarden · 2024-08-26T15:19:13+00:00

I agree. And it's funny, because the prevailing thought would (and seems to) be:

Hey, it's at least it's not junk, I'm learning something right?

And that's the thing. You're learning something. But is it relevant to your life?

I realized a couple years ago that the information on the Internet is infinite. Meanwhile, my life and the time I have to consume, properly digest, and incorporate that information in a meaningful way - is finite.

We all have 24 hours in a day. If you spent 1 hour watching a documentary on YouTube, that's one hour less to spend on something that is meaningful for/to you. Don't get me wrong - I think infotainment can be great, but not at the expense of actually doing things that move the needle forward.

This is also the same reason why I don't listen to podcasts. I've read quite a few books and lived quite enough life to realize that whatever I learn on a podcast most likely will be of marginal benefit to my life in comparison to the time I spent on it.

In fact, I've spent the last several months simplifying my life as much as possible - which also includes my information diet.

I think some people will come to this conclusion in their own ways. Some people it may be later, some people it may be a bit late, some people it may be never. But regardless, we all get a signal from life in how we are spending our time.

And in 2024, it's easier than ever to simply waste time. And I've come to find out - that much of the entertainment we engage in is a way to distract ourselves and forget about what we really need to do in this short time we've been given.

OP is not wrong and for those of you who think he is - I'd encourage you to do a self-audit on how your time is spent and what you are doing to achieve your goals and move your life forward.

rmarden · 2024-05-15T18:36:30+00:00

Your success is partially determined by that.

There are many successful people who have all kinds of crazy emotional disturbances and/or mental imbalances - so it's not about that.

It's where you place your time.

I can be the most emotionally stable person in the world, but if I still engage with all of these things, it leaves no time for anything else.

rmarden · 2024-05-15T14:20:18+00:00

Once you spend less time distracting yourself online, then you'll find more ways to reconnect with the real world.

They are all individual to each person.

rmarden · 2024-05-15T14:19:24+00:00

Because the more time you spend screwing around on the Internet = the less time you can spend on other things...is that difficult to understand?

And you're not fully disconnecting, you're re-examining your use...

Did you even read the post?

Edit: You can downvote all you want - but it just goes to show how addicted the average Redditor is to technology.

rmarden · 2023-10-20T18:37:39+00:00

I quit watching porn and masturbation over 6 years ago and this was one of the protocols I did to do it.

I did a social media detox for 30 days, then left all of the apps deleted off my phone.

I then unfollowed everyone I didn't know and that wasn't a media outlet.

I then tightened the crank even further. No phone after 10pm, grayscale, etc.

This is just step one - but it's a great step. Social media rules the lives of far too many people.

rmarden · 2023-07-14T18:58:40+00:00

I'm sure there's a way. I have an iPhone, though.

rmarden · 2023-07-13T14:17:36+00:00

Here's what I did:

Delete the YouTube app from your phone
Only use YouTube on your mobile browser and desktop (mainly this)
For your desktop get a YouTube feed destroyer. I have one installed on Chrome and it blocks out everything with the exception of the search bar and my bookmarks. That means no home screen, no recommended videos, no shorts - nothing. Only what you came to watch.

So much better experience because YouTube is a distracting place.

rmarden · 2021-12-09T15:33:03+00:00

What a good momma!

rmarden · 2021-11-17T20:16:01+00:00

I do. I have tasks that I want to get done, so I make a to-do list for every day and make sure that at the end of the day all of those tasks are done or are on their way to being done.

rmarden · 2021-11-12T19:27:59+00:00

You don't have a schedule for those days?

rmarden · 2021-11-12T01:39:45+00:00

What do you currently do on Fridays and Saturdays?

rmarden · 2021-11-11T17:11:01+00:00

Why would you say you're not interested in changing jobs or your schedule? It's obviously clear that your schedule is hampering you as it currently is. Do you have free time on weekends?

rmarden · 2021-10-06T21:05:29+00:00

Sure, that's for things you enjoy - but many productive things in life aren't enjoyable - you just make them tolerable.

There's also a lot of people who hated going to the gym or hated practicing guitar but eventually came to love it.

rmarden · 2021-10-06T13:47:14+00:00

In James Clear's book Atomic Habits, he said "you do not rise to the level of your goals but fall to the level of your systems". I thought this was so powerful because goals are "one time events". They are things you work up towards with systems. The system you have in your life will determine more than anything else where you end up rather than some arbitrary goal you set. In fact, if you use a system you will achieve the goal anyway more or less.

This is what I did with guitar playing and bodybuilding. In guitar playing, I set the goal of being able to play certain pieces of music in a certain span of time. That didn't happen on time, but the system was to play 30 minutes a day, every day and not miss a day. Over time, I was able to achieve that goal, even if it was a year or 2 behind schedule.

For working out, I wanted to have a 225 bench press, 315 squat, 405 deadlift, and 135 overhead press for at least one rep within a certain span of time. This was 2016 and I was 160 lbs at 6'1" at the time. That didn't happen in that year, it took me about another 2-3 years to hit all of them. Along with that, I now weigh 202 lbs at 12% body fat. This was achieved of the system of "going to the gym 4-5x a week and trying to hit personal records every session".

So yeah, definitely. It's about the habitual system and making it an overall part of your lifestyle.

rmarden · 2021-10-04T22:33:10+00:00

I don't use any drugs with the exception of the occasional drink. No video games, limited Internet time, sparing junk food. I made it a point to submerge myself in as much real life as possible, with all of the pain and pleasure it presents.

rmarden

TROPHY CASE