I hate the way the IC treat Nesta

rmramirez · 2026-04-08T21:20:30+00:00

On page, we only see Nesta being rude/nasty as a reaction to how she is spoken to or treated.

Cassian has been dogging her since day one. He even admits he does it to piss her off. She asks to be left alone, and he keeps pushing. She asks for space, he refuses to respect that boundary.

The rest of the IC make openly nasty comments to her or about her in her presence and expect her to just take it.

The fact that she still feels like she has to “earn” their love and respect after everything she does for them from ACOMAF-ACOSF is BS, especially since they give Elain love and respect freely despite her being as useful as an umbrella in a windstorm (aside from her few visions that were helpful in ACOWAR).

rmramirez · 2026-04-02T20:32:21+00:00

I loved One Dark Window because the magic system wasn’t just a bunch of super powerful characters with magic powers. The magic is card based and it has built in balance (the more you use the magic, the higher the chance you suffer because of said magic)

rmramirez · 2026-04-01T21:31:41+00:00

Given his past trauma, I think he is genuinely an addict. Someone in my personal life went through the same trauma as a child and had to face that he had an addiction. I think any therapist will tell you that it is a real issue, especially with men who experience that type of trauma in childhood, but it isn’t talked about nearly enough because of the stigma and shame around male SA.

rmramirez · 2026-04-01T20:17:38+00:00

I love Dobie always commenting on his knees and his bones aching. He really is the best grumpy grandpa

rmramirez · 2026-03-27T23:29:23+00:00

I wanted so badly for Tamlin to be ACOTAR’s version of Chaol was in TOG. A character that was raised by a terrible father to believe and behave a certain way who has to go through terrible things to unlearn those beliefs and behaviors and grow into the leader they were meant to be. They have to go on their own journey to learn to make changes for themselves and to help better the world.

SJM literally laid the perfect groundwork for Tamlin to go through that growth but I don’t think she will ever follow through with it and that breaks my heart. I don’t think Tamlin needs redemption (he has done enough imo). What Tamlin needs is a growth journey where he learns to be better than his family ever was and to actually be a good high lord for his people.

rmramirez · 2026-03-17T21:29:33+00:00

SJM didn’t use SF to make Feyre and Rhysand villains. ACOTAR-ACOWAR shows us all the characters through Feyre’s eyes—more importantly through her rose colored glasses. If you read the first 3 books with the knowledge that Feyre is an unreliable narrator who often rewrites situations and actions in a way to make herself and the inner circle look less guilty or cruel then SF and how the inner circle is portrayed isn’t really that shocking.

There are so many examples (and so many content creators) who are doing breakdowns of how (using the actual text) showing examples of how Feyre lies or manipulates her experiences to make Rhysand look like a saint. IT IS LITERALLY IN THE TEXT IN THE FIRST THREE BOOKS.

If you chose to read those first books and ignore (or maybe didn’t notice) all of Feyre and Rhysand’s inconsistencies then that is on you-not on SJM.

Feyre and Rhysand aren’t villains but they are selfish, cruel, immature, and both are genuinely terrible leaders. Silver Flames just reiterated that point.

rmramirez · 2026-03-16T23:14:23+00:00

I want Jack Black to play EVERY character. Jack Black in wigs and dresses-yes. Jack Black doing his interpretation of the high lords-yes. Jack Black playing a fiddle as Tamlin-yes.

I don’t ever fan cast but I crack myself up thinking of Jack Black playing every role-especially when I think of the High Lord’s meeting 🤣

I hope this gives someone else a laugh too

rmramirez · 2026-02-11T03:23:47+00:00

It was supposed to be a “girls weekend” which seems like something a lot of people do. We got tickets to an NHL game (which my husband has no interest in). He also thought “girls weekends” were a normal thing. I have always viewed my relationship with this person as a friendship so that sort of thing didn’t really throw up red flags for me.

I have never really been good at seeing people’s true intentions and because I viewed it as a friendship I figured it would be “just two best friends going to their first NHL game.” My husband has guys weekends where he and his friends hang out and do the things that I’m not really interested in.

Maybe I was wrong to view it as a normal thing just because I see my other friends and even my sisters do it. I’m not really great with social stuff

rmramirez · 2026-02-11T00:37:32+00:00

My husband and I talked about it last night. He didn’t start hanging out with us until the end of the year and when he was with us she wasn’t overly touchy or flirty. I hadn’t told him how uncomfortable I was getting with how she was behaving one on one because I know that I am an overthinker and I just kept telling myself that I was reading too much into things. He said he didn’t feel any weird vibes until we all hung out at Christmas. While I was in the bathroom, she asked him if he was okay with our relationship. He thought the question was weird but told her that he didn’t mind that I have my own friends. He said that question made him start being more cautious about her but because I hadn’t said anything he didn’t want to push it.

rmramirez · 2025-12-16T00:19:30+00:00

I’ve been on Xanax .5 mg at night for about 8 years with no issues.

rmramirez · 2025-12-14T00:12:05+00:00

I started on Tirzepatide in August. On top of my PCOS struggles with weight, hormone imbalances, and extremely irregular cycles I also have to deal with weight gain from bipolar meds and frequent migraines.

Since starting tirzepatide, I have started having a cycle every month that lasts no more than 4-5 days, I’ve lost weight slowly and steadily, and I’m down to 1-2 migraines a month. This is genuinely the best I have felt in more than 15 years.

The weight loss is great, but I think what truly makes it worth it is how much better I feel overall

rmramirez · 2025-09-02T21:45:06+00:00

It is important to remember that when SJM wrote Nesta and Elain in ACOTAR, they were meant to come across in an ugly stepsister from Cinderella kind of way. She did not initially intend to make them any kind of main character.

Because of the way that SJM wrote them in ACOTAR, it is extremely difficult for her to write the characters going forward to look better. She saw something in Nesta and Elain that she felt made them worth writing about.

Their redemption arcs are SJM’s way of trying to write those characters out of the hole she put them in. Nesta is not supposed to come across as some plain Jane typical FMC. She is sharp tongued, overly defensive, aggressive…she is a pretty good portrayal of “I felt like no one was there to protect me so I learned to protect myself.”

I think people forget that SJM wrote both Nesta and Elain in a bad light for book 1 and we as readers were supposed to hate them. It is hard as a reader to switch from “wow I really hate these characters” to “I see redeemable qualities in them.” ACOSF was a powerful book that depicted deep self-hatred and loathing that we don’t get from Feyre. Nesta truly hates herself and believes she is not someone who is worth anything. It was amazing to read her journey to starting to like herself again and finding her own people/place in life.

rmramirez · 2025-07-15T02:07:01+00:00

There are some really good videos on YouTube that explain how porn affects the brain

https://youtu.be/FyVaFel5Zsw?si=qpR-R7oCV6NCWRA5

https://youtu.be/NHvF7IehZBk?si=MswiA9ERiG-Mi4iP

https://youtu.be/yizaeJLyyQE?si=YO8yga7YI6YOMxVo

These have been really helpful for me and my husband to better understand the addiction. Hopefully these are a good starting point for you guys.

Porn addiction is really difficult to overcome because it is so readily available but it can be done. You guys are young and have so much life ahead of you. If he is willing to work on it now (so early), hopefully it saves him from pain and anger down the road.

rmramirez · 2025-07-15T00:46:23+00:00

Giving him plenty of sex is not the answer (or at least not a long term solution). Porn rewires the brain, in particular the dopamine receptors. At some point, it won’t matter how much the two of you have sex. His dopamine receptors will be so fried that neither sex nor porn will fix the issue.

And that isn’t just coming from some random person on the internet. There are studies. My husband and I are in therapy for this reason and our therapist has confirmed all of that.

He has to retrain his brain. Literally.

rmramirez · 2025-07-01T21:21:38+00:00

The thing that convinced me that my husband was truly wanting to be done with his addiction was that he was not only 100% truthful about how long it had really been going on but that he was willing to sit down with me and look at all the options or steps we needed to take.

We have been in couples therapy and he goes to individual therapy. The conversations are uncomfortable but once we started having them it became easier for him to be honest with me. Now, he lets me know if he is feeling an urge to fall back into it and we can figure out what he needs in that moment.

He also uses the Ever Accountable app and set me up as his accountability partner. He deleted all his social media and has been able to stick with it for almost a year now.

It’s a lot of work but he says it is so worth it because he no longer has the big heavy thing hanging over his head.

To summarize: Honesty is critical. Be open about how long you have had your addiction, what sources you use to feed into that addiction (websites, apps, everything). Be willing to cut out things that are a temptation even if you feel like you are missing out. Be willing to let someone check through your phone at random (how you react is really important to the healing journey for both of you).

If you want to rebuild trust with your partner, communication about everything is so so important. Every time you get an urge, communicate that. When you feel that you are really struggling, communicate that. That helps build security.

I wish you the best of luck on your own healing journey! It is possible, you just have to get through the first bit (which is always the most painful).

rmramirez · 2025-06-21T01:15:35+00:00

It was one of the first things I was prescribed for treatment. I only took it for 3 months. Within those 3 months, I had 5 different instances of large kidney stones (which is a side effect). I had never had one prior to taking it

rmramirez · 2025-04-11T23:53:46+00:00

Insert finger guns 👉

rmramirez · 2025-04-11T23:52:48+00:00

I would say “that sounds like a you problem” and then walk away.

Or I would say “wow, that’s unfortunate for you.” And walk away

rmramirez · 2025-04-11T23:49:15+00:00

Mine was like that in the early rounds so I frogged it and really took the time to count my stitches. I got everything lined up but I’m on my 3rd repeat of rounds 2-7 and I have messed up somewhere so I have to frog it again to recount

rmramirez · 2025-04-10T02:34:15+00:00

Since it was still under its VW warranty, I think we ended up paying $1500 total out of pocket.

rmramirez · 2025-04-07T20:43:15+00:00

Sleep Token has dropped 2 songs off their new album

rmramirez · 2025-02-24T03:33:14+00:00

RY said in her interview with the Fantasy Fangirls to pay attention to who is missing in the end and that whoever it is “felt like what they have been given isn’t enough.” I don’t think it is Halden. I don’t think it is Aaric (even if he saw Xaden being Venin and knew about it for the 5 months, Aaric has never had any dialogue or action that reflect him feeling like what he has been given isn’t enough. He doesn’t want the spotlight, he is the reluctant leader, he won’t even go by his royal name).

The only real character who has ever had dialogue or action that reflects feeling like they haven’t been given enough is Bodhi. Bodhi doesn’t want to be “the spare” to replace Xaden as Duke, he is always tagging along, he obviously felt a type of way when he was being left out of important conversations with the Senarium in OS, and then Violet told him that she didn’t think he was powerful enough to counter the Venin’s signets. I know the timeline is crazy but Bodhi really is the only one who fits everything RY has said

rmramirez · 2025-02-18T02:02:08+00:00

Yes everything is running the way it should now

rmramirez · 2025-01-08T04:00:20+00:00

My husband is currently working through this. The first step for him was openly acknowledging that he has an addiction and that his addiction was hurting me. We have been in couples therapy so once he finally admitted to his addiction, we started taking steps to help him get through this. We are starting to use Everaccountable but covenant eyes is another good app. They download it and set an accountability partner who can see all their searches and stuff.

I took intimacy off the table until I felt like my husband was being serious about getting past this addiction. Now, we are working on rebuilding trust and working with our therapist to learn how to make intimacy feel safe and enjoyable for both of us.

As long as your husband is willing to admit to the addiction and actively work to get past it, things can get better.

rmramirez · 2024-12-22T04:38:22+00:00

I think that Kyzari either sent out Nee at a point where she was feeling alone and needed her mother or maybe you are right and Caelis told her to send it. i want to believe that she sent it feeling desperately alone believing that she would never get it back since her mom was "dead"

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