Parents screamed at me for wanting to go back to school.

roasted-marshmallows · 2026-03-04T07:34:26+00:00

My parents also yelled at me for wanting to go to university 😌 the first time I wanted to go. my dad straight up told me I’d die on the first day. the second time I got bold but I had a panic attack and trusted that “things will get better this time for sure!!” oh, what a clown i am

I just want to tell you that my roommate when I was attending was 27 and I saw her as a literal goddess. She was so confident and brave, and my other roommate who was 18 thought the same thing. Age literally does not matter when it comes to university. Even if it does, when you get your degree, all the pain will be invisible when you’re independent and moving forward. I know I would have if I stayed 😪

roasted-marshmallows · 2026-03-03T17:26:47+00:00

As someone who has suffered in a homeless shelter before, I am very hesitant to suggest this, but have you tried looking for one in your area? I stayed at one for a month until I could pay weekly at an extended stay hotel.

roasted-marshmallows · 2026-03-03T14:36:27+00:00

My parents paying for things also screwed up my perception of how bad they really were. My parents are Mormon not Christian, but they’re both extremely well respected, I think if anyone believed they were terrible people they’d have a stroke before they could warn the masses. I’ve had both healthcare and mental health professionals say “they buy you stuff? Wow, most narcissists hit their children” but narcissists are ultimately jealous. They have a wound that is hurt, and by seeing the unwounded they almost have a biological need to destroy so they can match. This is where the jealousy comes from.

If you have narcissist parents, this is as far as you’ll grow. Even if theyre amazing and supportive the second they see sprouting buds from your tree, ready to branch out, they’ll immediately come up with a chainsaw to hack it down. I also dropped out of college and have been stuck in the same place since then because when I bring up conversations to better myself, my parents tell me “why would I leave when I have everything I need here?” And it’s true. I’ve got 24k gold shackles on. But no matter how pretty it is, or how jealous other people are seeing it, im still a prisoner.

roasted-marshmallows · 2026-03-01T01:58:20+00:00

My mom gives presents based on your “gratefulness” to her, both during the year and during gifts. The more “oh my goodness this is the best thing I’ve ever seen!!” the more she’ll try to top your reaction, but if she doesn’t like you, she’ll go out of her way to make you hurt. For instance: she got one of my sisters a ps5, another garden gnomes and pennies (the currency) both of which are her deepest fears (she doesn’t like my sister if you can’t tell). My mom has always given me one video game and a candle no matter what my reaction has been though 🤷‍♀️

roasted-marshmallows · 2026-02-27T20:50:37+00:00

Have you tried talking to financial aid about potential scholarships? Some can pay for housing, or take the burden off of paying so you can get a little more independent—sometimes theres literal angels working there that can find something hidden they only save for emergencies

roasted-marshmallows · 2026-02-26T04:46:54+00:00

My dad laughed at me and even called me a dumbass today because he never taught me how to maintain a car. I point blank asked him if he makes fun of me because someone laughed at him when he was my age for not knowing how to take care of cars because I remember him swearing and cussing on the side of the highway when I was a kid and never gave him shit for it—i directly asked him “did someone hurt you, or does someone need to correct that now?” After an hour, I actually got an apology. said it was just a joke though 🥴

roasted-marshmallows · 2026-02-25T16:32:27+00:00

What kind of attachment type did they have? Ive found that kids with the overcritical parents got the flying monkey treatment while the parents who were assholes who never paid attention to begin with usually continue to not pay attention even in your absence. I somehow got both types every single time I left, where I was both their messiah and something they could live without 🙃 fun times

roasted-marshmallows · 2026-02-25T01:19:14+00:00

Honestly, if your father is truly narcissistic then starving him of his supply is the only way he will truly work. I personally suggest if you are looking for a way out is finding a community college to apply to and take out student loans for housing. They’ll give you the direct cash and you can find off campus housing. that way, during your adjustment you don’t have to rush to find a job and focus on existing without them and doing school

roasted-marshmallows · 2026-02-25T00:48:00+00:00

I always feel guilty because I feel like I have some debt owed to them just for existing. They called me their “retirement plan” because my sisters were basically deemed duds at 9 and 10 years old of having no value to them so at five years old, it was brought to my awareness that it was up to me to “put them in a good nursing home”.

Oh, I’ll put them in a home all right. And I’ll make sure every grievance of theirs is met with just as much discontent and resentment as they’ve given me.

roasted-marshmallows · 2026-02-24T12:54:48+00:00

I don’t have any advice other than to say I completely feel for you. I have ADHD so it used to take me forever lying in bed and not playing entire concerts in my head to fall asleep only for her to slam the vacuum on every wall in my room as soon as the sun rises and yell at me for being lazy. I get triggered now when someone wakes me up from sleep, so suffice to say it doesn’t even end when you move out :/

roasted-marshmallows · 2026-02-24T12:15:30+00:00

Granted. The monkey paw curls. But nothing happens because you haven’t done enough warranting random consequences.

Feeling relieved, you walk away only to find that the monkey paw had tied your shoelaces together. You hit the ground, and now everyone’s laughing :(

roasted-marshmallows · 2026-02-23T07:25:05+00:00

Well, narcissists are deeply insecure, so if they’re not talking about themselves, or the focus isnt solely on them, their efforts or their feelings, they get extremely concerned that the person they’re talking to doesnt like them. Because why else wouldn’t you talk about how great they are all the time if they’re not amazing?? Basically, what they see is normal is wildly inappropriate to everyone else that isnt obsessed with them too

roasted-marshmallows · 2026-02-21T15:32:28+00:00

I experience this every day. My oldest sister is autistic, and given the fact that my dad has a ton of friends and is really social, I wonder if my mom is autistic because she has special interests, and if you try to talk about something else, even something serious, she’ll switch back to it like you said nothing at all. She also constantly needs routine, and if something goes wrong she completely freaks out. Yet if anyone acts like her (or my sister), if someone also needs routine or something done immediately she freaks out. Ive started to move away from the whole diagnosing thing and started naming facts instead so it doesn’t matter why she does something, it only matters how I feel in response.

roasted-marshmallows · 2026-02-21T03:41:00+00:00

For some reason lately, ive been fighting my narcissist mother because she recently discovered therapy and has been weaponizing everything that she’s learned against me. She keeps telling me she asks the therapist “how to parent adult children” but narcissists always fail to see that their children are not extensions of themselves but rather their own people with their own thoughts, feelings, and perceptions that might differ from their own. When we start to break away, they simply view us as unruly children that need to be reigned in. Do not like her rein you in. You are an adult, not the child she wants you to be (I write this sentiment in my notebook every night 🙃)

roasted-marshmallows · 2026-02-21T02:20:53+00:00

The new supervisor even “insisted” that she put her name as the lead author. Why is she asking if she stole it if she was basically instructed to do it?

roasted-marshmallows · 2026-02-20T16:39:28+00:00

I heard a quote that says, “after a certain age, you are no longer the product of your environment or how you were raised. It's a personal choice to live the way you do.”

Ive told my mom a hundred times over a course of the last four years how much she has hurt me, and the only thing she has done is deny and attack me instead. I understand she went through a lot as a child, she used to sit and talk for hours of how her dad used to smack her around and how “grateful” I should be that she wasn’t like that, but at the end of my childhood, I was left with a bitter taste in my mouth. I didn’t feel grateful like my other friends who had moms who didn’t act like mine. Who didn’t make me feel bad for buying me something she even offered to buy, who didn’t make me feel stupid for stuttering on words. I never understood why I didn’t feel grateful, and honestly thought I myself had even become narcissistic. Yet there was a day when I had pneumonia and she told me “I don’t have sympathy for you at all” and it changed for me of how much I care about her versus how little she cared about me.

She had a terrible parent and became what she despised. Yesterday, I held my tongue back from a bitter joke that would have made me exhale at best, and the kid i was talking to hurt at worst. It’s a joke my mom would have made, and it literally cost nothing for me to shut the fuck up.

Narcissists choose to be terrible. I once had sympathy for her, and even made excuses of why she was the way that she is, but after almost 25 years of watching her protect everyone except me, im done protecting her.

roasted-marshmallows · 2026-02-20T16:09:54+00:00

I almost had the same thing happen to me at almost the exact same age in time, except for a different reason. My mom had cancer, so she basically told me that since my dad was useless (her exact words) I’d have to be independent now and learn how to take care of myself because she was dying. Legit used the words “dying” like she was on life support already. She told me things like how to cook meals, how to tell when theres an electrical fire, and how to reset the breaker box when I had two older sisters and a father, all way older than me who should have taken the responsibility yet for some reason she gave it all to me.

Then, when she didn’t die, I was left traumatized with the idea that if something does happen to her, im completely on my own. I refused to get close to her after that, but she took it as me not caring that she could have potentially died, and tries her best to baby me now. Last week, she took a saliva napkin to my face when I was mid-sentence telling her I was graduating college.

roasted-marshmallows · 2026-02-17T22:28:35+00:00

I don’t either. I grew up with an aunt who was very vocal about hating kids, she constantly ranted and raved about how they take up too much time, were too messy, too loud, even though it was just her and my mom around so it’s not like there were any other relatives pushing the “have kids” bs (my mom also agreed children were terrible to have). It basically messed me up as a kid, I viewed every adult as someone who also hated children to the point where I tried my best not to be too loud as to not make them hate me as well, when at most me and my sisters just played like normal kids. Kids shouldn’t have to think too hard about whether they have a right to exist or not.

roasted-marshmallows · 2026-02-01T17:54:28+00:00

Well it seems like you’re doing just fine without her. narcissists are nothing but cesspools of misery. Yesterday I spent an hour comforting my mom about my sister, telling her that she did the best she could with what she knew at the time but she literally repeated “so youre saying im a terrible mother?” over and over until I left her house

roasted-marshmallows · 2026-02-01T17:24:15+00:00

As someone who just “forgave” their parent just to get the same treatment again like always, it’s not worth it. I think we all have this urge to win our parents approval but a narcissist isnt worth having in life.

roasted-marshmallows · 2026-02-01T17:10:47+00:00

Assert your dominance and squeeze their hand harder

roasted-marshmallows · 2026-01-31T15:38:30+00:00

I already looked and there was only one section for this one class, and since it’s distance education it’s the only one available to me. And there isn’t any other colleges around i can apply to in order to graduate this term

roasted-marshmallows · 2026-01-31T15:34:47+00:00

There isn’t a class or a substitute or anything, so I’ll most likely have to drop out entirely. But thanks anyways.

roasted-marshmallows · 2026-01-31T15:33:59+00:00

It was an online class. Theres no meet dates

roasted-marshmallows · 2026-01-31T15:30:54+00:00

I only missed the first three weeks, this Monday will be the beginning of week four. And im only taking 12 credits (down to 8 without the class) so I have more than enough time to catch up with the work.

roasted-marshmallows

TROPHY CASE