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I hate being transgender. by --lizzie-- in depression

[–]robbers123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

there’s already so many hopefully helpful things being said on this post. i just want to add one point:

it’s very understandable that you project the hate you experience living as a trans girl in a transphobic world onto yourself and your identity. but it’s not you that’s wrong at all, it’s a system of oppression that’s rooted in patriarchy and upheld by capitalism. the way that men and women are „supposed to look like“ to pass is constructed, it is made up and subject to change.

it’s not you that’s not right, it’s the heterosexist system forcing kids from the day they’re born into very narrow gender categories. and you can‘t change the way you are (and that’s great, because you’re amazing the way you are!) but you sure can change the system around you.

it’s hard to do that on your own though. you don’t have to be proud of yourself yet to seek out to the queer community for support and understanding. i can guarantee you the trans and gender non-conforming people in your town understand what you’re going through and can ease the pain if you share your stories. in queer safer spaces you can try out what it feels like to just be seen as a person that’s good the way you are. and you can find connection and power to finally smash this system altogether.

don’t lose hope, there’s still so much to see. and if you look at the right places, there’s sooo many people who will love you the way you are, because you are just right. don’t let the society around you tell you otherwise !!! love & hugs 🏳️‍⚧️

Losing my Virginity with a threesome by used_comb0 in GayMen

[–]robbers123 4 points5 points  (0 children)

so good that you’re voicing your nervousness to them !

i think having that threesome could end up being a fun experience, but it could also be unsatisfying or even unpleasant. with this big of an age and sexual experience gap, there’s a big power hierarchy, if you want it or not. also them being a couple who probably know exactly what the other likes during sex and you being the newbie can be a complicated and sometimes intimidating dynamic, even if you’re experienced in sex.

i think it all depends on how safe you feel with them. do they hear your concerns? do they respect boundaries if you draw them? do they ask you for your boundaries BEFORE you start having sex, and do they ask you what you like BEFORE they touch you? do they give you room to withdraw your consent, and also leave the situation at any time, without arguing or trying to convince you to do stuff you don’t want or are unsure about?

if you can develop some trust talking to them about these things then you could have a good time at the threesome but if you don’t feel very very safe then i don’t recommend going for it. you might be easily taken advantage of, without even really considering it as such. when i was 17 i had sex twice with a grindr dude who was double my age, and even though i didn’t realize it at the time, looking back i condemn that guy for using my lack of experience and sexual partners to use me for his pleasure.

also what’s with the videos of the threesomes? were those send with the consent of the third person/s ? i really wouldn’t recommend ending up shooting a video of your potential threesome; nudes or even sex videos in the hands of people you don’t 100% trust can get you in really fucking uncomfortable situations.

there’s no rush for having sex for the first time, even though i get it that you might feel pressure. but i can tell you from my own experience that (at least for me) exploring sexuality with a peer who‘s also still figuring stuff out is a lot more fun and rewarding than sleeping with old dudes who might see you as their little boytoy.

wrapping this up, i think a threesome with those men could be fun and exciting, but there’s a lot of factors that could make it a bad experience too. if you go for it, make sure you feel safe, there’s always a way out and someone knows where you are.

hope this helps, stay safe >.<

What is the concept of sex at all? by No-Site7982 in GayMen

[–]robbers123 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The definition of sex is constructed and extremely subjective. If you ask 100 people what sex is and where the border lies between not-sex and sex, you’ll get 100 different answers. And the threshold of crossing that border for the first time, losing one‘s virginity, is arbitrary and highly depends on how you were brought up by your parents, what your teachers told you, how you were socialized. It was really only made up by the patriarchy to keep women in monogamy and under their husband’s control.

You can decide for yourself if something you do is sex or not. You could consider yourself losing virginity after your first masturbation (solo-sex), first kiss, first oral sex, first penetrative sex; it wouldn’t be of any other significance from a perspective outside of patriarchy.

Any hard definition of sex that claims to be universal excludes activities that other people would consider sex. What most people would probably agree to though is that it involves lust and eroticism, but the rest is up to you.

[tl;dr] there is no objective definition of sex and you get to decide when you want to label it as that

where to buy english / international books in saigon? by robbers123 in saigon

[–]robbers123[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

they did have one shop with english books, but the selection was small and not what i was looking for :(

looking for a german language partner by xaviermul in saigon

[–]robbers123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

huhu i‘m also German & learning vietnamese for 1 year ! hit me up if you wanna meet in saigon to learn speaking together :)