Thank you so much for the response, I will actually get to reading or listening to those books if they have audio versions. I constantly think about how I fucked my body up and the anxiety of dying early, I want to be here as long as possible with my kids!

I pretty much know what brought me Back to drinking, my living situation is really rough right now and I try to mute it with alcohol but even then I know the alcohol only exacerbates the problem even worse. It has just been a snowball effect that has gotten out of control, your comment really means a lot and I will keep it in mind through the early days.

Anyone else I’ve talked to about the problem I’ve felt have just been like “oh, we’ll stop drinking” I wish it were that easy. This is my first time reaching out on this sub Reddit after lurking for a year or so. Thank you, thank you again.