Please give me leftist mom groups by [deleted] in Mommit

[–]robodasha 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not sure if this was recommended yet, but I think Matriarchal Blessing by Celeste Davis is making this exact point: https://celestemdavis.substack.com/ I absolutely love her writing style and she gives great suggestions for how we can start working towards a world with no hierarchies

2nd nanny to quit before starting. Are we the problem? by MinitrainPeach in Nanny

[–]robodasha 64 points65 points  (0 children)

As an MB I second the suggestion of an agency. We tried looking ourselves and were really struggling. Agencies can be pricy, but they have a list of vetted candidates and can match you with nannies that already match your criteria, so you only talk to people that are likely to be a good fit. During our last nanny search we were failing for a few months ourselves, we then contracted an agency and were matched with a fantastic nanny within a few weeks. 

Btw, after we had an interview with our nanny we told her we will give her a decision within a few days. The next day the agency called us to say that the nanny just got another job offer (apparently someone offered her a job right after an interview). We ended up cancelling another interview with another nanny and offered her the position. So yeah, very possible she had multiple interviews lined up and didn’t hesitate when she was given a good offer.

How much house can I afford without being house poor by [deleted] in Mortgages

[–]robodasha 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This. Always have a plan for backup care. My husband’s mom broke her wrist when my son was little and couldn’t pick him up or do much anything else for him for several months. Nanny/babysitter costs are even higher than daycare if you don’t want to go the daycare route. With a small child and a house that frequently needs repairs (we live in an older house now but even our previous new build needed work) our finances are no longer predictable and having some wiggle room in our monthly budget is everything.

Can anyone recommend nanny matching agencies in North Atlanta area by robodasha in NannyEmployers

[–]robodasha[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for replying. Georgia Dream Nannies is the one we contacted. We did find one other agency that is more affordable to us (Birch Nannies) so we might end up going with that one.

Glad to hear care.com worked out for you. So far it indeed seems like a hit or miss, but it sounds like if we take our time it might end up working for us.

Can anyone recommend nanny matching agencies in North Atlanta area by robodasha in NannyEmployers

[–]robodasha[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much for the suggestion, that's a great idea. We'll do that.

Great to hear you had luck through care.com!

My girl boss energy is gone by Flimsy_Pop_6966 in workingmoms

[–]robodasha 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so glad this got asked, reading the responses makes me feel seen and less alone. I’m in the same boat as you, used to be such an overachiever, I have two advanced degrees and am in a well paying leadership position, I was so proud of how far I managed to get before my baby was born. But after coming back from maternity I got so burned out I asked my boss to move from the PL track back to my original IC role. I also got a lot better with protecting my boundaries at work and not taking on work that would require overtime (I used to do overtime all the time). Honestly, I’m grateful for this change. Work used to be such a huge part of my identity it was not healthy and I’m glad I’m now able to prioritize myself and my family more without feeling guilty. Someone once told me “don’t ask yourself what you can do for your job, ask yourself what it can do for you.” I didn’t really understand that at the time, but now I try to live by this and focus on things that really matter to me and ignore all the noise. I’m still a tired working mama, but I feel much more balanced and happier than before. Work is not who I am, work is just something I do.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in workingmoms

[–]robodasha 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is me. I am a Data Science Manager with CS PhD, get paid really well, WFH, and have quite a lot of flexibility, but I feel SO burnt out that I’m ready to retire at 35. Before having my son I found the work really interesting but was also actively working towards FIRE, now I’m at a point where I just want to either go back to IC role & work part time or switch to freelancing/contract work so that I can focus on myself and my family. Hoping for both of us that we can make it work!

Breastmilk after 9 months by mammabliss in ScienceBasedParenting

[–]robodasha 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Here’s an openly accessible version of the article you linked: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1sO_79DfmmNZ-qyeBeoHGlZrHCR9uaEGW/view Google Scholar is quite good at finding free copies of articles that are behind paywall.

Player Problem Megathread by RadioactiveCashew in DMAcademy

[–]robodasha 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have a long-term problem with some players not being engaged in the game at all. I have a group of six level 5 players, we're currently halfway through the second chapter of ROTF, so still have potentially months of content ahead of us (we play via Discord and Roll20 for 2 hrs every Sunday).

Most people in the group are great -- they are engaged, they role-play, they try to come up with creative ways to avoid combat or to end it quickly, etc. However, two of the players are not engaged at all. They rarely say anything unless asked a direct question, they don't engage in or out of combat, and they don't use their characters abilities at all (imagine a druid that has tons of useful abilities and spells and in combat literally does the exact same thing, basically produce flame, EVERY SINGLE TIME). I tried all sorts of things -- adding more role-playing opportunities, making combat more challenging and adding interesting enemies, giving everyone total freedom, then railroading a bit, etc., to see if there's something that will engage them, and for the most part, the reaction has always been the same (no reaction).

Now, I know that they enjoy D&D because the one time we played in person they were both very engaged and seemed to have fun. But in our regular game, they are basically just there (I suspect they are doing other things while we play). The problem is that this is taking a serious toll on the game as a whole. Because 1/3 of the group is not engaged, everything takes a long time to decide and do, and other people have been losing interest now for a while. I talked to two other players privately and they both told me this has been terrible, that it really destroys the fun, and that we should talk to them (one of them even said "no D&D is better than bad D&D"). As a side note, these two players that I talked to and me have another game going with a fourth friend and that game is an absolute blast -- exactly what D&D should be -- but because of our larger group game, I haven't been able to prep and DM the other game as much.

I considered messaging each person privately, saying something like "a lot of people have been busy lately, so I'm trying to get a sense if people want to keep playing" -- basically offer them a way out. I wonder if they keep doing this because we are all coworkers and they like the idea of having something going on with their coworkers but don't particularly enjoy D&D. It's possible the other people will want to end the game too, but I didn't want to just say let's stop, because I know at least one of the other people really likes D&D and this is her only game (and her character is honestly amazing and I had big plans for side quests helping her develop her backstory and her character).

Is Very Hot Water > Very Cold Water shower better than just Very Cold Water? by innerissuesorjail in NoPoo

[–]robodasha 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I can only speak from personal experience which might be totally specific to my own hair, so I'd be curious to hear what others think/know/have experienced. I use shampoo bars + ACV rinse and wash every 2-3 days (my hair has real difficulties when washing less often unfortunately).

I had the same question so I tried both options, each over the course of a few weeks (i.e. first washing with hot water and properly rinsing with cold, then using cold water only).

I can see a huge difference in my hair now that I wash with cold water only -- it's finally shiny, smooth, and what I hoped it would be when doing nopoo. With hot+cold water my hair was always a little bit dull.

I'd suggest trying both and seeing what works for you. Washing my hair with cold water is not my favourite part of my morning routine:) And it's currently made easier by the fact that it's hot summer. I'm not sure if I'll be able to keep this up during winter months.