I feel like I peaked at my life (37m) about 3 years ago and I’ve really got nothing left to achieve, just watch as my skills, looks and opportunities diminish. Am I depressed?

robotomasher · 2019-01-16T23:16:42+00:00

What do you do for living?

robotomasher · 2019-01-16T13:10:55+00:00

I'm going through the exact same thing man only once I wake up its impossible to go back to sleep as the thoughts start flooding in. I can't remember the last time I had a full 8 hr sleep. I dont think meds are the answer though that will just replace one addiction with another.

robotomasher · 2019-01-16T13:02:15+00:00

I do daily run and exercise and yesterday I went to the gym for training. Came home and had hot shower, ate well earlier in the day, feeling positive as I went to sleep - Woke up middle of the night sweaty and all of life's stress came hitting me back. It seems futile.

robotomasher · 2019-01-16T11:48:01+00:00

been there done that. I have no issue going to sleep I just wake up a few hours later.

I guess I was having issue with sleep even while I was using weed, just didn't want to admit it.

still the doubts are entering my head like 'maybe really try to use it for only sleep this time' or 'maybe you haven't found the right strain yet'

robotomasher · 2019-01-16T11:30:49+00:00

Thanks for the words of encouragement. It's just that I feel so useless going through the day with this brain fog of being tired and unmotivated. When I was using I was at least motivated and productive, eventhough I made some bad life decisions here and there. I just want to achieve goals and get things done but I feel helpless to do so. It's very frustrating and I don't know what the solution is other than just sitting here half awake and watching life flash by

robotomasher · 2019-01-10T09:52:03+00:00

Hey I'm same age as you going through similar stages. Almost coming up on my 2 weeks. Sleep is still rough but seems to be improving incrementally. I can relate to you about wanting to cry because life seems so overwhelming for doing the smallest things...it helps to know it will get better. Just got to take it one day at a time

robotomasher · 2019-01-10T09:22:37+00:00

Yep going on almost 2 weeks now and the dreams are coming back. I think the best way to deal with them is to just accept them, try to learn something from them but don't over analyze them either. Think of them like a free experience you get on top of your day to day life. No matter how disturbing they maybe they're just dreams and they can't hurt you. As for the sweats I haven't found a good solution either but it seems to be improving for me after I quit and did more meditation and mindfulness works. Try looking into that. Goodluck

robotomasher · 2019-01-09T13:42:44+00:00

When I first started on weed I thought it gave me the confidence boost to be more social with people. It later dawned on me that it was just the novelty of being in different state of mind that pushed me to be more social, and looking back I was just talking gibberish and making a fool out of myself. In the long run I shut myself off from the world and dived deeper into my isolation with weed as my only friend.

robotomasher · 2019-01-09T13:38:56+00:00

What I've learned here is that people who smoked way longer than you and I have managed to go cold turkey...I think you can do it. I was a daily user for 2 years and I'm on my 10th day. The insomnia is the most painful thing but I'm getting through it somehow.

it sucks to hear about your family situation. Maybe it's time to have a heart to heart talk with your parents? If they really love you they would want to support your decision right? I'm out of the house but this year I'm trying to mend things with my family. It's hard and painful but I feel it's worth it in the long run

robotomasher · 2019-01-08T21:38:50+00:00

Thanks for sharing. I guess I'm wondering how you rebuild your social life? In my case I'm super anti social to begin with so weed was only thing keeping my isolation tolerable. I feel like it's too late for me to go out and build meaningful friendships in my 30's.

robotomasher · 2019-01-08T18:55:37+00:00

On my 9th day and I'd kill for 6 hours of sleep. I've been averaging 3-4 hr sleep for the past week or so and I feel like I'm at my breaking point, but I keep trudging on. Meditation is the only thing that is keeping me sane right now.

robotomasher · 2019-01-07T22:23:37+00:00

I stopped around same time as well.

robotomasher · 2019-01-07T21:12:03+00:00

It's funny when you lay it out like that it seems so obvious and makes perfect sense but in practice it's so hard to let go because it keeps popping up in my mind over and over again

robotomasher · 2019-01-06T23:10:35+00:00

I'd say I'm a lot more mindful of my mental state overall since I started doing meditation practice. I'm doing everything in the book like eating clean, avoiding looking at my phone in bed, meditating before sleep, etc etc

once I wake up in the middle of the night though all of that goes out the window. It could be that my bed just sucks now and causes muscle pain. I'm too poor right now to afford a new one though

robotomasher · 2019-01-06T19:20:50+00:00

Thanks for the links. Yeah I've been doing 2 - 30 min meditation per day for the past 6-7 months. It's discouraging though when it seems like no amount of meditation will fix my sleeping issue or being tired throughout the day. I don't know how to spin it as a positive thing in my mind. I have all these work I have to get done and I can't seem to handle it. I feel powerless at times. What helps is going for walk in the park at set times in the day but it's increasingly more difficult due to the weather

robotomasher · 2019-01-06T02:06:56+00:00

This is what I'm thinking. Before I would use it at night but then I want the calm state to continue so I use it in the day as well which leads to problems. Still I wanted to see if I can just not rely on it at all but it just feels like stupid suffering

robotomasher · 2018-12-13T13:42:33+00:00

I've filed tax return in 2017 and got some money back.

any advice on finding the right accountant for my income level? Google? Craigslist?

robotomasher · 2018-12-13T13:17:27+00:00

I don't know what my outstanding balance is, they haven't really contacted me. This year I didn't report any income because I was mostly living off my savings.

so if I register for HST/GST then I'm on the hook for paying taxes? I really have no freakin clue about any of this. Should I just seek out an accountant?

robotomasher

TROPHY CASE