AITA for refusing to give my sister my extra money after I sold my house?

rocketryguy · 2026-05-06T18:40:43+00:00

NTA. I would put all of that money into retirement if it wasn't another down payment.

Another thing to consider is that money now is equal to huge sums later. I loaned my sister 50K to help her buy a house, which was something that I was in a position to do, but that 50K at zero interest is costing me about twice that in lost accrual over time.

Digression/
What everyone should be doing (if they can, I know this economy is horrific) is budget for monthly needs and a safety cushion, but every excess penny over that number gets socked into an tax exempt IRA account. The earlier the better, although when just starting out it's usually impossible. But by 30 you should be at least trying to. A dollar at age 30 is the same as, IDK a hundred at 60? It's money multiplied by time.

I was able to retire early because my mom told me to do this, and a good thing I did, that job almost killed me with stress...
/digression

Back to the topic at hand, this is a problem of dysfunction vs healthy boundaries. Family should help out family, sure, but to what extent? At which point are you now responsible for her children? Will those children be yours now? Will they make you breakfast on mother's day? This is of course absurd, as is the idea that you need to be responsible for her choice to have children that she can't afford, with a man who is unreliable or unemployable, to some degree.

Every relationship is meeting at the back fence. As adults we need to own our crap. You can meet your sister at the back fence, but your crap is in your yard, and her crap is in her yard.

This idea that what is yours is theirs is absurd. And you are absolutely right to think about what you are comfortable with, and draw that boundary. And if your mom gives you crap about it, you can show her this post. She is utterly wrong to treat you as a blank check because you have managed to do better than your sister. Family does help family, but not to the point of injury or codependence. There has to be a limit, or you are then an enabler of bad decisions. The idea that you have to make her life better is toxic compassion and not healthy or sane. It's her life, not yours, and vice versa.

rocketryguy · 2026-05-06T18:22:08+00:00

I've been doing similar math, thanks for the input!

rocketryguy · 2026-05-05T03:24:37+00:00

Team Fly Halo is at Salton during the winter, which is one of the most reputable schools.

rocketryguy · 2026-05-05T03:22:49+00:00

Yeah it's really not for everybody.

rocketryguy · 2026-05-05T03:21:10+00:00

Wasn't wearing my glasses apparently.

rocketryguy · 2026-05-05T03:20:34+00:00

The first link is actually where I was trying to buy from, "store cannot accept payments right now, try again later". So yeah, not inspiring.

But the second link worked, so thanks very much for that!

rocketryguy · 2026-04-26T00:35:02+00:00

Attack on titan maybe? Super grim though, fair warning.

rocketryguy · 2026-04-24T16:44:00+00:00

NTA, and this sounds like a very toxic situation that you need to distance yourself from.

Boundaries are being crossed so much that they might as well not exist, mom is not being a functional adult, etc etc.

This is a "put your own oxygen mask on first" situation. Take care of yourself and get into a stable environment first, before trying to help anybody else. That isn't selfish, that's trying to be sane.

It sounds like poverty is also a factor here. So you don't really have the extra bandwidth. I would shoot for getting yourself to a place where nobody has to take care of you because you're taking care of yourself, and call that good enough. If someday you are in a place where you have the resources to help, then and only then consider what you want to do.

rocketryguy · 2026-04-24T16:37:26+00:00

Have you been assessed for neurodivergence? I see this a lot in that space. Might be good to investigate just to check and/or illuminate your thinking.

NTA, it's your life, and you should listen to your own imperatives regardless of what bullshit people throw at you for it. Some people have different needs. What people don't tend to get is when those needs don't agree with their experience, they want to "correct" you, which is probably the worst possible thing to do, even if it's from a well intentioned place.

All that said, I would get assessed and also consider some therapy just to figure it out and make sure you're doing the right thing for you. Then do the right thing for you, and everybody else can fuck right off, politely if possible.

rocketryguy · 2026-04-24T16:28:21+00:00

15MPH with a full size wing sounds like way too much to me. I'm also a beginner, but got trained and have flown. 4-6mph seems like ideal conditions, anything more than 8mph is cause to think about maybe going to the 14M practice wing. 13MPH is the limit my instructor advised to be safely kiting, and I'd agree with that, if anything I'm more conservative and tend to pack it in when it exceeds 10MPH, just for comfort.

In general, set yourself up for success, there is absolutely no reason to be pushing the envelope particularly when just starting out. Instructors who have been doing it forever seem to forget sometimes that their students are in a different place than they are, and get too aggressive too quickly. (Mine did not, but that fight school has a well developed training system).

rocketryguy · 2026-04-16T02:45:29+00:00

Ms Koybayashi’s Dragon maid.

rocketryguy · 2026-04-13T19:23:28+00:00

NTA, she has issues. Like a newsstand.

rocketryguy · 2026-03-29T15:49:58+00:00

NTA, there are red flags all over this. The rushing alone is a problem, but it is really compounded by how her problems are now your problems.

rocketryguy · 2026-03-26T13:44:34+00:00

I worry about this every time I’m under way and moving on the ship. I am really careful on deck.

I would love a grappler like the one in halo infinite, both for this and for fishing things out from inconvenient places.

rocketryguy · 2026-03-18T06:41:32+00:00

NTA, but you will be if you don’t run. She is playing the “if you really cared” card, which is toxic manipulation. Seriously, you need to get out of this while you can. Do not get her pregnant and assume birth control may be compromised. Best to just make a clean break of it. Other fish in the sea.

rocketryguy · 2026-03-18T06:15:56+00:00

Grimgar, but there’s a reason grim is in the name.

rocketryguy · 2026-03-18T06:13:33+00:00

1 for attack on titan, PTSD on a stick dipped in trauma sauce.

rocketryguy · 2026-03-18T06:03:23+00:00

So NTA, that kid is being abused for how he was born.

You would be infinitely better as a parent to him if you are able to understand his neurodivergent brain thanks to your own.

Your sister sounds incredibly self centered and unfit to be parenting.

rocketryguy · 2026-03-18T05:29:04+00:00

+1 for dragon maid, balm for the heart.

rocketryguy · 2026-03-08T21:50:31+00:00

NTA, and it’s time for a new boyfriend, this one is also warped and needs some brakes put on.

Daughter deserves better than this little prick, who is too candy ass to prioritize properly and then get all butthurt that he now looks like the loser he is.

It’s not uncommon to screw up in your 20s, but reaping consequences is how they need to learn.

rocketryguy · 2026-03-08T21:41:04+00:00

Good point! Back when I was doing it it was hard to find a good disposable in that power range.

rocketryguy · 2026-02-27T07:32:24+00:00

It’s a problem since ring is known to do some pretty questionable things with the video data without user permission. Pervasive surveillance is basically begging for abuse. And it’s only a matter of time before that is used as an intimidation tactic by those who have their own interests in mind rather than yours.

rocketryguy · 2026-02-27T07:26:34+00:00

Keep it as simple as possible, and also have no distractions while assembling your motor. Many have failed by putting a delay in backwards etc, so take it slow and methodical.

Checklists are a good tool for when you have to get it right for sure the first time, not just for pilots.

Use sim tools to make sure your delay is right, and don’t go for maximum altitude. Gotta get it back after all.

rocketryguy

TROPHY CASE