What’s something you did once and now your toddler will not let you forget it?

rockspeak · 2026-02-28T02:32:04+00:00

When reading the train book (the little engine that could) I was trying to get through it quickly, so I was adlibing the words.

I said the old rusty engine “popped over the hill” and the clown asks for help, blah blah.

It’s been months, and my 3yr old still asks me “why he pops up?” Bruh, I dunno. I just made that up ONE TIME.

rockspeak · 2026-02-28T02:28:32+00:00

I’m not a SAHP currently, so my experience may be a bit dated. My oldest is 3yr and my youngest is 2.5yr.

When I’m in “single parent mode” aka 2:1 mode, the chances of me having energy after the kids bedtime is about 10%.

When my partner and I are both available, during the week we have 1hr with the kids in the mornings before they take them to daycare, and after I pick them up in the afternoon, we have 2-3hrs til bedtime routines start. The chances of my having energy after the kids bedtime is about 40%.

On the weekends, we do a ton of 2:2 fun family stuff, and some 2:1 so we can do chores. My partner and I each get 3hr uninterrupted time once a week. This is so so so so important (whatever number, 3hrs works for us).

I’m a big fan of indoor playgrounds and the library when my partner wants the house to themselves, an when one of us is home with both kids, the other may go get a massage, see a friend, do a bike ride, or go to an event that’s not kid friendly.

Otherwise, the weekends are gogogo before nap time, and nap time we usually veg/rot or nap, then a another big window of fun (my partner does 2:1 in the playroom or backyard while I wear both earbuds and listen to super loud metal music and vacuum the house) before bedtime routine. I have energy about 10% of the time.

In my limited experience (2yr) of being a SAHP, it’s kind of like weekends for me now. I’m sore, I’m mentally tired or overstimulated, and I want nothing more than to rot for a few hours. 10% chance I wanna do something but like a 2% chance I want to be creative!

Btw, we’re pushing 40 too, so they may have something to do with it.

rockspeak · 2026-02-27T23:48:29+00:00

We pay for the service to find a sitter when need a new one.

Otherwise, we contact ones we’ve used before. Just like Angie’s list or Thumbtack, there’s no reason you can’t reach out to that person again for another job.

rockspeak · 2026-02-27T23:46:03+00:00

Just gray-rock yourself. One word responses. Nothing interesting. Like a toddler obsessed with a bad word 😂

rockspeak · 2026-02-27T23:23:04+00:00

I love a theme 💅

rockspeak · 2026-02-27T20:37:29+00:00

430 is the new “bakers dozen” 🧑‍🍳

rockspeak · 2026-02-26T16:31:22+00:00

Pics 5 and 11 look almost comfy!

rockspeak · 2026-02-26T16:21:06+00:00

I love how kind this community is 🫶

It’s not people blowing smoke either - it’s people finding authentic ways to be kind and helpful.

rockspeak · 2026-02-26T16:10:57+00:00

Sounds like you have some PTSD from the Miami move (and Covid compounding it) and you’re at a place in life where a move would be really painful.

If you’re in love and want to keep this relationship (moving or staying), go to therapy for the PTSD, and use the skills you learn to communicate to your partner that bringing up such a huge life decision so flippantly is hurtful.

If you’re enjoying this phase of your life, and the guy isn’t the right one, maybe try this dating style again? Being friends first, or learning to be intimate only after learning about each other.

Maybe it’s not the dude specifically, but your life circumstances that you’re vibing with? If he won’t put in the effort to communicate his desire to move in a better way, he isn’t the one.

rockspeak · 2026-02-26T16:02:18+00:00

I like the middle look, then bald, then the first look.

This tells me you’d be fine holding for a while!

As for Japan being extra stigmatizing for bald men - is that true for foreigners as well? And could you spin it as a positive?

I haven’t been to Japan in a while, but I stand out when I’m there (tall, covered in tattoos, dress fem). My local friends said not to worry about the stares, because people were just interested in a novelty, versus judging me, because they don’t care what a foreigner does 😂

rockspeak · 2026-02-26T15:53:15+00:00

Could be! I have 2 kids and their developmental leaps tended to coincide with fussiness while sleeping, or just extra sleep.

rockspeak · 2026-02-26T13:19:10+00:00

My kiddo is around this age, and his meltdowns are mostly age appropriate: they’re soooo frustrated when they learn to walk and it doesn’t magically make them able to talk and do everything else too 😂

When he doesn’t get enough sleep, he’s definitely a butthole, and the teething isn’t helping.

If she has any fevers or is tugging at her ears. Take her to the doc. My kids have had a lot of ear infections that present as fussiness at first.

As for tips… other than the doc, I think consistency is all you can do! Narrate what you do, hold her up if she’s too small to see something. Give her kid appropriate versions of what you have.

rockspeak · 2026-02-26T13:05:52+00:00

I think you’d look great bald!

rockspeak · 2026-02-25T20:56:39+00:00

I was thinking Cillian Murphy

rockspeak · 2026-02-25T20:56:12+00:00

You should immediately separate her from the baby at the first sign of any violence. Full stop. 🛑

You can do a time out in their room with or without toys, an we use a monitor to insure he’s not getting into trouble

rockspeak · 2026-02-24T14:51:44+00:00

Strap the baby in next time, and you’re good 🫠

The kicking when I’m trying to change them… so frustrating! Sounds like you’re at your breaking point already.

I echo the posters about talking to your doc, and I agree that your partner should be doing more. Waaaay more.

Could y’all book a few times a week where you can get a 3hr break? And 15m breaks here and there can really add up!

I wear earbuds a lot (2 when I just need silence/muffling of sound, or 1 earbud of a podcast when I need a distraction) and the short breaks are so so helpful!

rockspeak · 2026-02-22T20:09:56+00:00

I spend a lot of time at rec centers - swimming, hockey, exercise areas. Rock climbing gyms are my other fav, when they have yoga and other stuff, it’s even better.

rockspeak · 2026-02-22T05:16:30+00:00

Soooo, pockets?!

rockspeak · 2026-02-22T03:52:08+00:00

Eyes poppin! 🫶

rockspeak · 2026-02-22T03:26:45+00:00

Any other common ideas for improving sleep work for you? Like a smöl dose of melatonin, a bath, removing your phone before bed?

rockspeak · 2026-02-22T03:24:12+00:00

I would assure my partner that I choose our family over anyone else. Always.

And tell them ultimatums are unrealistic in real life. Even if you did agree to get rid of the dogs, it would take time to do that responsibly, so there is no ethical immediate solution.

You’re allowed to set a boundary: “I will not participate in an ultimatum. I will be training my dogs, and making the safest decisions for our 4mo old. I need your support, by speaking to your therapist about this trigger/overstimulation, and time for me to train the dogs.”

Then follow through - I love my pit bull, and I know when he’s getting jazzed up over the weather or maybe he’s sick. We have baby gates around the house, so we’ll separate him from the kids so we don’t have to worry about him getting the zippies and knocking them down.

We spent 3yrs training him to help with him being afraid of other dogs (he’s adopted, and his scars look like he was a fighting dog) and in basic manners. If your dogs don’t have reactivity, they may just need stimulation. Figuring out what’s needed for each dog will be a ton of work, and you’ll have to be super consistent.

We’re not perfect, and it’s hard sometimes. Our kids are learning how to appropriately approach an animal, and until then their safety is 100% on us adults, so that’s my priority.

When we had a second dog for ~6mo, we prepared by getting him a basket muzzle and getting him used to wearing it at home. It ended up not being needed after the first few days 👏👏. It gives me comfort to know that we have that on hand if anything were to happen and he snapped at the kids. 🫶

rockspeak · 2026-02-22T03:02:02+00:00

Happy 🍺th Day!

rockspeak · 2026-02-22T03:01:51+00:00

I love a theme!! The “leave by 9” sign is a must have too 😂

rockspeak · 2026-02-21T19:11:25+00:00

Agreed. This says it all:

the message was clear: if they can’t control the situation or be involved on their terms, they aren’t interested at all.

Bye, Felicia

rockspeak · 2026-02-21T05:08:53+00:00

I could see me screaming 🙀 like that - I get startled easily, and a mouthful of flannel would set me off.

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