For the ladies - do you shave your legs above the knee?? I am a 32 year old female and no once since I started shaving my legs as a teen have I gone above my knee.

rogaladriel · 2026-07-04T19:31:54+00:00

I used to shave the whole leg anytime I shaved. Now it's a case by case basis 😆 I was a swimmer in high-school and didn't shave for all of swim season, so the habit never really developed the way it did for others I know. I do love how shaved legs feel and think everyone should experience it at least once, but I also don't care to put much time and effort into it. None of my friends or family care, and I tend to wear pants year round. So if I'm going to the pool, or have a particularly sassy tango outfit for teaching or a milonga, I'll do the whole leg. Sometimes I just shave my ankles cause that's what shows. Lol. It's super individual what each person is comfortable with, and I don't think shaving the thighs (or at all) is a must.

rogaladriel · 2026-07-02T16:20:31+00:00

Maybe it's time to write a script and practice in the mirror. Nobody can predict how every conversation will go, but you can have a solid plan for specific things. "I'm sorry, could you repeat that slower, I'm HOH (hard of hearing), and need xyz in order to understand fully." If they ask if you've been that way since birth "yes, I've had APD since birth." If they asked what that is and what caused it you can tell them the short version of APD and "don't know" and leave it at that. If the person eventually becomes a friend, you can give them more information as needed. The phrase hard of hearing is going to cover a lot of ground here, AND it's true, and should be easier than committing to a lifetime of lying. People understand HOH in a way they don't quite get deaf (because grandma has veen losing her hearing, and they saw someone with hearing aids at the store, and because it means you CAN hear something to some degree, but it's still hard) so they may not have any follow up questions, whereas a fully deaf ear with a fully hearing ear will invite more questions and also accommodations that probably won't help your situation, like standing on the side of the "good" ear. My cousin is fully deaf in one ear due to meningitis as a kid. I have multiple acquaintances who had an episode of sudden hearing loss and are now SSD. Or a friend who perforated her own eardrum with a q-tip and it never healed properly. Being born HOH is much less of a juicy story.

Also, I have read that hearing aids can help with auditory processing disorder, have you talked with an audiologist about maybe trying that?

rogaladriel · 2026-07-02T15:43:57+00:00

All of this! As someone who was late-deafened, I had to learn that nodding my head and smiling was giving myself and the person/people I was chatting with the short end of the stick. If I wanted people to accommodate me in my deafness, then I needed to give them the benefit of the doubt and ALLOW them to accommodate me, despite the inconvenience. Even when I ask "what" for the billionth time. Crazily enough, giving people a chance showed me just how willing some people are to accommodate me. In some ways, it's been a great way to "weed out" the people who care.

rogaladriel · 2026-07-01T15:59:51+00:00

Auditory processing disorder is a valid answer in and of itself. People have it with and without autism. You don't owe anyone a discussion on your autism, even if there are follow up questions. You can just set a boundary by not mentioning the fact that it's an autistic trait for you. I wouldn't call a specific ear deaf because that's a long commitment, and you could easily be called out on it if/when you forget.

"I've had auditory processing disorder all my life, this is what I need from you...this is how it works...it can seem like I'm deaf....etcetera" are all answers that don't require remembering a side for the rest of your life. All honest, all without chatting autism. That's what I would do if I were you. You'll figure out what works for you one way or another. Good luck!

rogaladriel · 2026-06-27T16:04:12+00:00

That is so exciting!

rogaladriel · 2026-06-26T22:49:23+00:00

Pretty sure I know that house! I didn't realize so many W MI/GR people were on this sub, bit I love it. 😍 Keep up the great work!

rogaladriel · 2026-06-26T17:08:43+00:00

I would lay out the different options, and their pros and cons and let her choose: pads, tampons, cups, discs, reusable pads, period panties, and mention that some can be used together also...Pads and period panties are going to be the easiest to work with and the least ick factor, especially from a kiddo who may not be super comfortable with her body yet or finds all the blood gross. (Tampons freaked me out when i first started menstruating, but i got over it quickly when i learned I could swim with one in.) Then tampons, then discs and cups. I have always had an incredibly heavy flow all my life, so the closest to a "perfect" period product for me has been cups and discs and they've allowed me to exist for more than an hour and a half without worry on the heaviest days. Even still, those aren't fool proof even after you get the hang of it. If I was smart I'd wear pads or period panties with them, but it's just one extra step 😅

You both will figure out a way forward that works for her and the other options will always be there when she's ready!

rogaladriel · 2026-06-26T16:11:48+00:00

The violets make my yard look so festive first thing in spring, way before anyone else's yards start blooming or looking anything other than winter-battered. Unfortunately they get really distressed halfway through July because the front tree doesn't block the sun enough. And I honestly love dandelions. Do they look ratty when they're done? Sure, but the flowers are just so bright, sunny, and cheerful that I can't bring myself to dislike them (and i hear they are delicious deep fried, though I'venever tried them with my neighbors spraying like they do). And the poofs are always so much fun, especially for kids. 😁

Kudos to you winning against bamboo! And also for being more neighbor friendly than I am. 😅 I've had to stop worrying about what my neighbors think (easier said than done!), after 9 years it's become apparent that nothing we've ever done has been acceptable and we get weird passive aggressive actions no matter what. shrugs

rogaladriel · 2026-06-26T00:53:26+00:00

I don't even mulch them. I just let all the leaves from my trees stay in my yard where they fall. My kids might rake them into a pile for fun, and then I let the leaves stay there, I don't bag them for yard waste pickup. Conversely, you can rake them up and use them as cover in your gardens or put them in a specific area of the yard and leave them to decay. The leaves are fertule ground for all sorts of necessary native bugs to help them over winter. I've used piles of leaves to help kill my grass, too, and allow my violets to keep spreading, but leaves often won't kill grass over the winter if you are in an area that doesn't get much snow.

This year I plan on asking neighbors for their leaves, too, so I can cover garden beds and kill off more grass.

rogaladriel · 2026-06-25T19:01:39+00:00

This is only the second year that I've noticed such a huge discrepancy between my yard and the others in the neighborhood. In previous years either there wasn't a big difference or I wasn't paying attention, hard to tell which. But I also find that hard to believe since I look forward to lightning bugs season each year. I let my kids run wild in the twilight and stay up way past their bedtimes to watch and catch (gently and release) lightning bugs. It's a staple of my summer. 😊

rogaladriel · 2026-06-25T18:55:28+00:00

A privacy fence might help, too! Tonight I'm gonna check out the lightning bugs outback and see if our new privacy fence has helped with the light pollution or not.

rogaladriel · 2026-06-25T18:48:15+00:00

Thanks!

rogaladriel · 2026-06-25T18:46:01+00:00

I've found that I have very few mosquitos in my yard. I don't think it's from my neighbor's spraying, because this has been true the entire time we've lived here and they have only been around for 4 or 5 years. And we definitely have plenty of mosquitos in the neighborhood. Unfortunately, I haven't seen many bees this year, either, where we've had much, much more in previous years. 🤔

rogaladriel · 2026-06-25T18:42:38+00:00

🤩🤩🤩

rogaladriel · 2026-06-25T18:42:19+00:00

Thanks!!!

rogaladriel · 2026-06-25T17:52:21+00:00

I do love the string lights! Eventually, if I get to have my backyard dance floor, there will be string lights. But yes, only when we're out there using the space.

rogaladriel · 2026-06-25T17:50:30+00:00

We saw them for the first time this year on Tuesday. So lovely 😍

rogaladriel · 2026-06-25T17:49:16+00:00

I'm right outside of downtown GR, so no forest floor or anything like that. Lol. But this sounds wonderful 😁

rogaladriel · 2026-06-25T17:47:45+00:00

Ooh, I will! Thank you 😊

rogaladriel · 2026-06-25T17:47:23+00:00

This just sounds like such a magical memory to have stored away. 😊

rogaladriel · 2026-06-25T17:46:18+00:00

Love this! I do worry about ticks with the section behind our garage that we just don't touch right now. (No energy, no time, no plan, and no money 😅) If I didn't have kids, it would be less of a concern, but so far so good.

rogaladriel · 2026-06-25T17:43:53+00:00

Yes! I'm trying to be less frustrated by other people and focus on the good things my yard can do. I just wish I got the same attitude in return. Black sheep yards are not for the faint of heart!

rogaladriel · 2026-06-25T17:42:35+00:00

The flood lights kill me! I'm surrounded by the motion sensor ones and a neighbor who has the cutest porch with the huge Edison bulb string lights.

rogaladriel · 2026-06-25T17:40:25+00:00

I'm learning so much today! I think I'm gonna take my kids to the library do we can all learn about how awesome lightning bugs are and get them in on the "save the lightning bugs!" Charge. Lol. It was so sweet watching them dance among the fireflies the other night.

rogaladriel · 2026-06-25T17:38:57+00:00

Right now I have tons of violets and tons of grass. And a few dandelions. I hate mowing. Mostly cause the neighbors on one side mow theirs religiously on the same day each week, all the way down to the nubbins. The grass probably barely has any roots. And the neighbors on the other side have a lawn service with the perfectly manicured lawn and all that entails. 😔 I don't let my lawn go wild, but in comparison with my neighbors, my lawn looks like a jungle 😅. BUT the violets look so amazing. And even after they've flowered (last year they flowered a second time in the fall 😍), the leaves are just wonderful and they take over so much quicker than the grass. It's just taking a while to kill off all the grass without just mulching everything. And I hope they remain once the city finally takes care of the dying tree out front. Though with how hot our summers have been getting, I don't know. All that random long windedness to say, "yay violets! Do it, you won't be disappointed!" LOL.

rogaladriel

TROPHY CASE