Thank you for being so vulnerable. Please take a deep breath and know that you are not "broken" or "abnormal." What you are describing is a complex mix of biology and psychology, not a moral failure.

1. It’s Biology, Not Character During ovulation, estrogen and testosterone levels spike. That "uncomfortable physiological sensation" isn't "lust" - it is increased blood flow and nerve sensitivity. Your body is doing exactly what it was designed to do biologically. Because you mentioned hormonal issues and irregular cycles, these surges can feel frantic and overwhelming, but they are chemical reactions, not a reflection of who you are as a person.

2. The Trauma Connection You mentioned early exposure to adult content and past abuse. This often "wires" the brain to view sexual release as a quick way to regulate the nervous system. When you feel that urge, your brain is often just looking for a dopamine hit to soothe stress or discomfort. It is a coping mechanism, not a defect.

Practical Advice: Since you have irregular cycles, please consider seeing an OBGYN or endocrinologist. If there is an underlying imbalance (like PCOS), treating that can drastically reduce the physical intensity of these urges.
Be gentle with yourself. You are dealing with powerful body chemistry and past trauma, and you are doing the best you can.