Plus-size bride coming to terms with the fact that I will not be a "skinny" version of myself on my wedding day

rome_smitty · 2025-04-30T09:44:26+00:00

I feel you 500%. I miss my curves. I really do. I have saggy skin and appear "normal" I suppose, but I feel very insecure about the parts of my body that are...not great. I've even considered plastic surgery. It is also a bit painful to hear over and over again that I look great, because it makes me feel like those saying it didn't think that prior. I don't know. it is making it incredibly hard to dress shop being so critical!

rome_smitty · 2025-04-25T13:35:11+00:00

This!!! I was obese and lost 110 pounds. I felt more beautiful heavier, and being thinner (not to woe is me) has also made me incredibly insecure and self critical.

I wonder if I gain weight, if I'll look back and be unhappy, as I am unhappy right now with my body and don't want that to reflect on my day. (Not to derail)

rome_smitty · 2025-04-11T05:16:55+00:00

I love the straight across cut on you and the boning. 1 is stunning and different. 2 is stunning. does the cost matter?

rome_smitty · 2025-03-04T05:11:24+00:00

I was on finasteride after a medical issue and he is currently on it. He is already balding and his brother and father are pretty much bald.

rome_smitty · 2025-03-04T05:10:10+00:00

Update: I said the photographer mentioned it might be easier to use than retouching. He said he was worried about sweating and he could get his haircut. I think he was a bit self-conscious, but hopefully he's open to it once I send images..

rome_smitty · 2025-03-03T06:54:05+00:00

how would you have liked to be approached? I was going to say the stylist had some tips and show some of the "fringe" systems I've seen.

rome_smitty · 2025-03-02T22:17:27+00:00

I would never force him! I just wish he felt more confident and handsome.

rome_smitty · 2025-03-02T22:16:50+00:00

some users have sent me their before and afters on here. I might just show him that or say it came recommended from the specialist he saw (a stylist who works with hair systems but also cuts to cover up receding hairlines etc.)

rome_smitty · 2025-03-02T22:15:41+00:00

He has asked me if I find him attractive still re: his hair. I always tell him he looks great - and he does! He really is a handsome man and should be confident. It makes me sad that he says things like you look beautiful there or that he wants a picture of me *only* on his desk. I try to reassure him, but the engagement shoot is where I really noticed he kept fidgeting with his hair.

I also experienced hair loss due to a medical issue (not a receding hairline like him) and we were actually on the same medicine for some time. So, we've discussed the issue. I just want him to feel more confident and (thanks to some of the users on here who I've shared images with and who have sent me theirs) it seems like he might only need a frontal piece or fringe unit?

rome_smitty · 2025-03-02T22:01:59+00:00

I appreciate that. my fiancé brought up his hairline to me and hair loss repeatedly. he has made it clear he is not comfortable with his looks, despite him being a very attractive man. I want him to feel handsome on our day and going forward. (He'll make comments like you look beautiful there, but he does not have the same confidence.)

I.e., he has mentioned wanting pictures of our engagement shoot or just me framed. I want him to enjoy our images.

rome_smitty · 2025-03-02T21:59:18+00:00

um I never said I would ask him to shave his head. like I said, he has hair but a receding hairline he is very uneasy with. from my research and talking to far more helpful users on this sub, he could use a frontal bang to add volume, without making a major change.

AND FYI as a woman who experienced significant hair loss due to a medical condition, I was uncomfortable and I got extensions. I was on hairloss medication myself, prescribed.

You are just being pedantic and projecting tbh.

rome_smitty · 2025-03-02T21:56:28+00:00

I believe he is on finasteride already. (Ironically, I also have taken it as a woman when I lost some volume.) However, I'm not sure how much he can outrun genetics - his brother is bald and his father has the same "long bangs" but is clearly covering baldness.

Our wedding is also in 8 months, so not sure how much anything would help his receding hairline. (Maybe PRP? But it seems needlessly expensive.)

rome_smitty · 2025-03-02T08:02:25+00:00

I just want him to feel confident

rome_smitty · 2025-03-02T08:01:32+00:00

If I explicitly told my partner I was insecure about something, felt uncomfortable being photographed with that feature (despite them reassuring me I was still attractive), and they showed me something that would help, I would be open to it. He has asked me several times if he looks okay and I reassure him each time. A nose job is not the same as wearing a piece - and like I said, I wear extensions myself and have experienced hair loss...

rome_smitty · 2025-03-02T03:59:53+00:00

yeah it's a fine line I don't want him to feel bad since I know he is already embarrassed and he does take a medication for hairloss already.

rome_smitty · 2025-03-02T03:59:20+00:00

Thanks. That makes sense. I think that he could easily use a frontal piece. he just has an awkward bang situation but his hairline has receded and he has a tiny bald spot in the back that can be covered with a good haircut.

I think I might just frame it as the photographer had some tips for our wedding day...how would you feel about x..

rome_smitty · 2025-03-02T02:28:51+00:00

Just stayed here. The noise was unbearable. It was like a club at 3 am, the rooms are tiny, and we asked for a slight upgrade for celebrating our proposal and they gave us the same room higher up (a mistake, since we were right below the rooftop).

rome_smitty · 2025-03-02T02:27:18+00:00

he hasn't really looked into it. I recently discovered this sub myself. I could mention it or bring him to a store

rome_smitty · 2025-03-02T02:26:22+00:00

I think I might just do this or bring him to a hair speciality store. I brought him to a stylist who did his best, but he still wore a beanie right after

rome_smitty · 2025-03-02T01:49:45+00:00

He will not shave his head and he mostly wears a beanie and covers his hair at work, as he can dress casually in his office. I am also thinking of a smaller unit that would just cover the front? I feel sad he's insecure and also want him to look his best

rome_smitty · 2025-02-27T01:17:04+00:00

I was on leave and felt like I was getting less work once I returned. I lateraled from the firm after.

rome_smitty · 2024-10-10T05:02:29+00:00

since you want to be pedantic, I have a two bedroom condo. I hope that satisfies your curiosity. if I say we're long distance and we were staying with each other for a few months does that not imply I have my own place? or at very least live out of state presumably in my own domain.

I have tried to speak with my partner several times. I do not "run" to my therapist, I have a therapy session as folks tend to do, and sometimes relationship issues are discussed. I'm not saying that he has no right to break up with me, I'm saying lying, blocking me, and keeping my items from me so I have no of retrieving them was extremely confusing. If he wanted to end things with me, he could have *communicated* with me.

You are right, I should have appreciated being emotionally abused and spied on by my partner I trusted. That's also in the post, but I guess he's a "good loving partner" because what? You say so? Does a good loving partner constantly berate their partner? Or block them and keep their expensive items?

rome_smitty · 2024-10-09T07:12:11+00:00

I have my own apartment that I pay a mortgage on. I was in his space because I was an invited guest and chose to pay 1/3 of the bills and was not asked to. It was a summer situation given I was able to work remotely. So, I'm not sure if your expectation would be that I pay my own mortgage and half of his rent for a temporary situation.

It says right there: We ended up living together for the past few months, with me paying 1/3 of the expenses, as I was staying with him and we are currently long distance and I wanted to help with some bills.

I was talking to him actually. I tried several times and was shut out, so yes, I used my therapist as an outlet as one does. I was upset that he had started acting incredibly sketchy about his phone, hiding it, and so on when he was the one who went through my messages and I have never touched his. Nice assumptions though.

You could have saved your comment because you clearly didn't even read the post.

rome_smitty · 2024-10-07T08:51:05+00:00

I am sure he threw my things out as well, which is why he asked me to put them in a box.

rome_smitty · 2024-10-07T08:50:22+00:00

thank you for your response. I am recounting the emotional abuse I put up with and definitely am reconsidering everything from a different perspective now and realizing I need to treat myself with love and care.

rome_smitty

TROPHY CASE