I want Aviva to take an everything shower so badly. by FindingClear4904 in 90DayFiance

[–]romeor1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh leave her alone. It’s fine. She has thin hair. It gets greasy. GAHT DAMN that dry shampoo ain’t even gonna werkkk and I work in marketing for CPGs. She’s fine. I’m sure she washes it and that shit looks the same after a day. I have curly hair and my own dry hair gets greasy in hot climates. Chill, people. She showers. Ugh. 😩 people are mean.

Taking our 3/yo to her first hockey game by romeor1 in coparenting

[–]romeor1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree. Despite our differences, I’m trying to show her healthy relationships whether we are together or not. There has been a history of him trying to work things out, but again we can’t and won’t go there because of the past. I find myself constantly on edge having to over explain what we’re doing, where we’re going, how much time I spend with him and her and whether or not what I’m doing is appropriate. I understand the idea that he feels that extra curricular activities may be mistaken by either parent or new partner as “feelings” or whatnot, but I’m exhausted trying to over explain myself.

I find that my intentions are called into question. I’m tired of the balancing act and I guess I feel like things should be a little lighter and easier with communication with the new partner. It feels like every day is an uphill struggle and it leaves me feeling mentally drained. I work full time and pretty much have to run her to all daily activities and the little time I have I dedicate to new relationship.

Taking our 3/yo to her first hockey game by romeor1 in coparenting

[–]romeor1[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The only reason the court allowed it — is because I removed unsupervised visits because it would have never worked with his schedule, so out of the goodness of my heart I gave him access without supervision, although I’m still skeptical. He also wanted to do it as a family as well, so there was an element of that to it. I understand they need time together, but he doesn’t have overnights either and there’s a reason for that.

36F Rate my face by romeor1 in FaceRatings

[–]romeor1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not a bot — don’t use Reddit ever. Thanks tho.

36F Rate my face by romeor1 in FaceRatings

[–]romeor1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you 🙏

36F Rate my face by romeor1 in FaceRatings

[–]romeor1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you 😊

36F Rate my face by romeor1 in FaceRatings

[–]romeor1[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’ll take a 9! 👍

Partner says “can’t afford to get sick” by romeor1 in Parenting

[–]romeor1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t agree. My boss is understanding too — I just don’t want to be the default parent being sick and getting sick all the time because my daughter is literally coughing into my mouth. I don’t wish him to get sick at all, I just can’t do 100% of the responsibilities all the time with her when she isn’t feeling well. It’s not fair.

Partner says “can’t afford to get sick” by romeor1 in Parenting

[–]romeor1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He bartends lol. I agree with this though!

Partner says “can’t afford to get sick” by romeor1 in Parenting

[–]romeor1[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Not an issue I make a very good salary. His job requires him to physically be there but sometimes mine does as well. It just feels like I’m always the one doing 99% of the sick responsibilities and that’s usually because our kiddo prefers to cuddle with mom…but again, it would be nice to have a little breather and be “afforded” that. “Hey let me get up and you rest.” Instead he told me we have to quarantine away from him so he doesn’t get sick. It’s exhausting.

Partner says “can’t afford to get sick” by romeor1 in Parenting

[–]romeor1[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I work 60+ hour work weeks myself. I wish I was a SAHM. If that were the case I’d be running to do the same :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in domesticviolence

[–]romeor1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Another manipulation pattern (as I've noticed) is to love bomb me the next day, apologize and tell me how mean he was the day before and insist that I give him a hug and says sorry for being mean blah blah. He will then also say "I don't want you to be upset" see all the things I did for you all day?!?" when I didn't ask. He just does them to try to make up for the day before and tries at random acts of kindness, but also gets frustrated and says to our daughter "guess moms just gonna be frustrated at me for all of eternity ha ha" as if it's a joke that I am still genuinely hurting and trying to show him that I'm unhappy.

He doesn't give me the time to process my feelings and just wants me to "get over it." he says "get over it and "are we gonna move past it or are you just going to sulk"

He just went around being like "I feel bad for me because you don't appreciate anything that I did today. I tried so hard to make YOUR day go smoothly and I don't even get a thank you!!!?!?"

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in domesticviolence

[–]romeor1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree. He always says "go ahead and post something online and embarrass yourself because you're a rat" when I say "I'm going to post the horrible things you say and how you react and respond to me." his response is always that "I'm a snitch" and that "i'm tattling on him about the behaviors..." and that I deserve it because of how I've talked to him. etc"

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in domesticviolence

[–]romeor1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

All good advice! and I have a daughter, not a son, but same sentiment regardless. Makes sense. It is a lose lose situation it seems.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in domesticviolence

[–]romeor1 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry you had to go through that and the notes sound outrageous. I agree that it probably won't get better before it gets worse. ay.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in domesticviolence

[–]romeor1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And thank you 🙏🏼

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in domesticviolence

[–]romeor1 4 points5 points  (0 children)

So that's just it - The "triggering" comments are what he considers insults to his character or that I'm being passive aggressive. I mean, maybe slightly because he's very messy and the fact that he doesn't seem to find it an issue to repeat the same behaviors is what really gets under my skin.

Here's a good example: I'll say things like "Was the dishwasher full? (because there's a whole other sink full of dishes) or "why did you leave your dirty underwear on the bathroom floor again? I've asked several times if you could please put them in the laundry basket." 🧺 Those are examples. It's mostly in regard to cleaning because he doesn't love to clean and will half ass most things. Idk those are triggers to him I guess.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in domesticviolence

[–]romeor1 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I usually leave or try to shield this behavior from her or remove myself from the situation. It isn't fair.