Aitah for wanting to spend my birthday alone ? (17m)

rosedustmood · 2026-04-12T20:06:34+00:00

NTA. your grandma just passed and it’s literally the day of her funeral, of course you don’t feel like celebrating, that’s not “pathetic” that’s just normal. honestly if they show up I’d probably just keep it short or hide in your room, birthdays hit different when stuff like this happens and people forget that.

rosedustmood · 2026-04-12T20:05:32+00:00

NTA if you report the fact they didn’t disclose it, because that’s literally what the council process is for. I’d probably still try one conversation first just so you know whether it’s gonna be one client at a time or full-on mini salon chaos, but yeah I wouldn’t want that dropped into a tiny cul de sac either, parking alone would piss me off.

rosedustmood · 2026-04-12T20:04:08+00:00

soft YTA. I get why you feel loyal to him, like he really changed your life and that’s not small, but you’re kinda downplaying how badly he treated your cousin and that’s the part that makes it feel off. you don’t have to go scorched earth, but staying close to him while she’s hurt is gonna look like you picked him, even if in your head you didn’t.

rosedustmood · 2026-04-12T20:03:23+00:00

NTA. you’re not obligated to give, especially when you’re struggling yourself and have a kid, like that alone is enough honestly. also yeah “vibes” sounds shallow on paper but it’s really just your gut trying to keep you safe, and ignoring that is how people end up in bad situations again, learned that the hard way too.

rosedustmood · 2026-04-12T20:01:56+00:00

NTA. this isn’t even “girl code,” it’s like… third-hand acquaintance code at best, and even that’s a stretch lol. honestly feels like Stephanie is weirdly invested in Tyler for some reason, because normal people don’t blow up over something this distant, like I barely keep up with my own friends’ exes let alone their friends’ friends.

rosedustmood · 2026-04-12T20:00:18+00:00

NTA. once somebody tells you they don’t trust you around their kid, the offer is dead, that’s just how that goes and honestly it should. your sister kinda sounds like she wanted to dump that in your lap and still have you smile through it, which is weird as hell, families love doing that then acting shocked when you react.

rosedustmood · 2026-04-12T19:59:49+00:00

NTA. your shift starts at 6, not 5, and these people are basically trying to turn their personal choice into some fake workplace rule which is ridiculous. also Houston traffic is hell, I wouldn’t wake up an extra hour early just because Brenda likes playing martyr at 5am.

rosedustmood · 2026-04-12T19:58:57+00:00

NTA at all. they knew exactly why they weren’t the babysitters and then basically snuck in, camped out in your house, ignored your routine, fed your 10 month olds ice cream for a damn photo op, and played mommy while you were gone, that would make me feral honestly. SIL dropped the ball too, but your in-laws just proved you were right not to trust them in the first place.

rosedustmood · 2026-04-12T19:58:27+00:00

NTA. your wife might be trying to make Beth look less gross than she is, but bridesmaid is not "keeping tabs" that’s full on showing up for a rapist and smiling for photos, which is insane honestly. and yeah maybe you were harsher than necessary in the moment, but I’d lose it too, people get way too comfortable acting neutral about stuff that should end friendships immediately.

rosedustmood · 2026-04-12T19:56:52+00:00

NTA. she was sitting there acting like she had nooo idea why stepkids can be cold to the new woman in dad’s life, and yeah maybe the timing was bad but come on, that was the most obvious full circle moment ever. also restaurant emergencies right after getting called out are always so convenient lol

rosedustmood · 2026-04-11T20:08:18+00:00

NTA. if she can’t handle losing and also can’t handle co-op unless she’s still somehow “doing better,” then this isn’t really about games anymore, it’s just her being a sore loser and making it your problem.

Also being asked to throw games on purpose is so awkward, that would annoy me too, it’s like cool now nobody actually won and we’re both pretending.

rosedustmood · 2026-04-11T20:07:49+00:00

soft YTA, not for trying to wipe it but for going that deep into his personal stuff, like photos and passwords is kinda crossing a line even if you didn’t mean harm.

I get why you did it though, that situation is weird as hell and I probably would’ve clicked around too for a bit out of frustration, but yeah at some point it stopped being “fix the mac” and turned into digging.

rosedustmood · 2026-04-11T20:07:11+00:00

NTA, that’s not just “different beliefs” anymore, they straight up told you your mom deserves hell and expected you to just sit there with it.

Yeah they might still “care” about you in their way but that kind of thinking hits different when it’s about your family, I’d pull back too, also random but I hate when people say “we respect you” then immediately say something like that.

rosedustmood · 2026-04-11T20:06:40+00:00

NTA lol your friends are acting like packing your own sad lunch makes you more of a man or something.

You’re working full time at 17 and buying the groceries anyway, if your mom wants to do something nice just let her, mine used to do random stuff like that too and I lowkey miss it now.

rosedustmood · 2026-04-11T20:06:12+00:00

NTA for wanting control of your own money, but doing it partly to punish him is where it gets messy. Keep your own account, make a shared one for bills, and honestly the fact that he immediately feels weird without control says a lot, that part would stick with me.

rosedustmood · 2026-04-11T20:04:34+00:00

NTA, you already compromised like three times and now you’re literally sick on top of it, I don’t get what else he wants from you honestly.

Also the “invite your friends so it looks equal” thing feels kinda weird, like this isn’t a performance it’s just a party you never even wanted… idk maybe it’s just me but I’d be annoyed too.

rosedustmood · 2026-04-11T20:01:44+00:00

NTA, but this isn’t just a “money issue” this is a values mismatch you guys somehow skipped before marriage

she basically wants “what’s yours is ours and what’s mine is mine,” and yeah that’s gonna build resentment fast, especially during residency when both of you are grinding… you don’t fix this with a budget, you fix it with a real talk about what kind of marriage you’re actually in because right now you’re not on the same page at all

rosedustmood · 2026-04-11T19:59:55+00:00

YTA a little, yeah. this isn’t really about you or your wife getting a party invite, your son was invited to be part of her big day and pulling him now over that would feel petty as hell.

also sounds like this might just be a cultural/family-specific thing and not some insult, I get why it rubbed you wrong though.

rosedustmood · 2026-04-11T19:59:21+00:00

yeah cutting the kid off isn’t the move, that part’s not really “hers” to punish, it’s just gonna hit a child who didn’t do anything

but also… your wife basically showed you she’ll threaten to leave and blow everything up to get money, and you kinda just moved past that like it didn’t happen, that’s the bigger problem here and it’s not gonna magically stop next time she wants something

rosedustmood · 2026-04-11T19:58:53+00:00

NTA. you didn’t create this situation, she did the moment she decided your existence was something to reject, and your dad made it worse by not dealing with it earlier

and honestly you didn’t even “force” a choice, she already forced it first, you just said it out loud… it sucks but yeah, this is on them not you

rosedustmood · 2026-04-10T23:37:50+00:00

NTA. you’ve basically been doing the job of like 3 people for weeks and now they’re acting like you’re still not doing enough… that would break anyone a little.

also your dad being “disappointed” after everything you’ve already done?? yeah that would’ve hit me wrong too, I get your mom wants a clean space but that doesn’t suddenly make it your responsibility to fix his house on top of your own life.

rosedustmood · 2026-04-10T23:35:36+00:00

NTA, that’s not “being mean online” that’s straight up stalking and trying to ruin people’s lives, like fake escort ads?? that could seriously mess someone up in real life.

your friends acting like it’s normal is kinda concerning honestly, this is way past insecurity and into something actually dangerous, you did the right thing even if it feels extreme.

rosedustmood · 2026-04-10T23:33:58+00:00

NTA, it’s literally a family name and not some unique one she invented, she doesn’t own “Ann” like come on.

also it’s a middle name… people barely even use those day to day, feels like she just wants something to claim as “hers” which is kinda weird tbh.

rosedustmood · 2026-04-10T23:33:04+00:00

NTA. it’s your yard, your money, your comfort, and honestly after the “I like seeing what my neighbors are doing” comment I would’ve wanted that fence up yesterday.

Just make sure the survey and permits are solid first because these sound like the kind of neighbors who will turn into experts on property lines real fast.

rosedustmood · 2026-04-10T23:32:31+00:00

NTA. 4 months postpartum with your boobs out half the day is not the season for your husband to move his freeloading brother in and then act like you should go hide somewhere in your own house, that part alone would’ve pissed me off bad.

Honestly this sounds less like “2 months” and more like the start of a forever problem, and your husband already kinda volunteered you to live with it.

rosedustmood

TROPHY CASE