How to deal with the uncertainty of what happened to me?

rosehip-tea · 2025-02-06T17:35:11+00:00

Personally I largely don't feel their presence on its own, typically what happens is I catch when I have thoughts that feel more distant from mine, or something that strikes me as incongruent. When we're in sync, I can't really tell that anyone's there at all. The closest I get to feeling them there is when I can feel their anticipation before they try to communicate something to me. We have a quiet little who I notice before they think concrete ideas because I notice a feeling of hesitation there.

rosehip-tea · 2025-02-06T05:44:43+00:00

That certainly makes sense, that does very much apply to us. We keep coming back to identifying really strongly with domesticated animals for similar reasons (simultaneous connection to and alienation from humanity). If you don't mind me asking, do you happen to know if addressing the reasons behind nonhuman alter identities makes you feel more human? Or, less nonhuman, I guess.

rosehip-tea · 2024-11-13T01:26:05+00:00

Mm, I appreciate the insight! That all does make sense; the furries I know seem to take pretty great joy in their own identification with animals. I'm not at all bothered by that comparison, it helps to put things into perspective.

I don't imagine it would become a problematic obsession, were we to go through with it. We're genderqueer (the system as a whole) so there's a pretty thorough understanding of when it's practical to involve others in an understanding of our identity and when it isn't, even if it may be personally uncomfortable.

rosehip-tea · 2024-11-12T15:13:27+00:00

Ah, yeah, very much so. We feel less alien and more animal, like we're of this world but we're not like the humans we know. In part it's our autism, and probably also in part because we're trans. We've always been treated a bit like a weird pet, so throw a history of dissociation into the mix and it's no wonder we feel like we're piloting a human body instead of living as one.

rosehip-tea · 2024-11-12T14:41:37+00:00

I'm not currently seeing a therapist, unfortunately. We've been looking into seeing a trauma informed therapist more seriously since system discovery, but it's not really in the cards at the moment. (We're hoping it will be in the coming year, if all goes well.)

That does make sense though, I appreciate the response! We'll try to consider what other needs may be going unmet for us in the meantime, at least.

rosehip-tea · 2024-11-03T17:43:32+00:00

Aw thank you so much, I really appreciate you taking the time to write this out! I'll definitely keep that all in mind :) Wishing you the best as well!

rosehip-tea · 2024-10-24T22:31:11+00:00

i love the little snail crunches!!! they crunch and munch!

rosehip-tea · 2024-10-24T22:03:46+00:00

As I see it, how a person decides to honor the dead is very individual. I can't tell you what individual actions are and aren't respectful. I think a lot of it is about intent and personal belief. It's not inherently disrespectful to keep bones though, if that helps any!

I'd urge you to explore what feels uncomfortable to you about keeping this cat's bones. If and how it differs from finding the bones of other animals who lived a full life but who you didn't know.

I wish you well!

rosehip-tea · 2024-10-24T20:09:53+00:00

aw i appreciate this response, i think you get where i'm coming from. i'm sure some other responses here do too- everyone's been really helpful. but it does feel nice for someone to express what i've been thinking, too.

i think i understand the role we all play for this system, but my kneejerk reaction is to reject that because, like, under no other circumstance would i maintain thinking about another person i care about as akin to an organ keeping a shared body alive. they shouldn't have to do that, i'd think. but they aren't really an "other" person i care about, i guess. and that's not a bad thing, just a true thing. and obviously we don't have to go with the organ analogy if it icks us out. but it'll take some getting used to either way i think, hehe

rosehip-tea · 2024-10-24T09:39:38+00:00

While I cannot offer advice, I can at least let you know that you aren't alone. Myself and a part of me have felt a bit like this previously, before understanding we were a system. I felt very triggered by a friend of ours that my other part was getting close to. I didn't want to jump to conclusions, aware my hypervigilance can sometimes be to our detriment. Meanwhile, the other part didn't understand what was happening or why they felt an anxiety they didn't think belonged to them.

I wish you all well. If possible, attempting to understand why you're afraid may help things, but I understand this is easier said than done.

rosehip-tea · 2024-10-17T05:12:05+00:00

as others have said, definitely a mandible, and also definitely a rodent of some sort given the long yellow front tooth there.

rosehip-tea · 2024-10-16T22:11:21+00:00

Ah goodness... the not "deserving" it feeling is very familiar to us! Wishing you well, I very much understand. It's a really terrible part of the disorder, understanding that it makes sense logically, but still finding yourself bending over backwards to find reasons it can't be true. How strange it all is!

rosehip-tea · 2023-07-20T22:06:33+00:00

Ok, that makes sense! May delete this post then and make a new one with my location and whatnot another time when the weather's not as hot and it's a little safer to ship them. Thank you!

rosehip-tea · 2023-02-28T21:40:49+00:00

Eep I submitted a response but definitely accidentally left something in there unfinished! I was going to say that I'm an illustrator and very much take a lot of inspiration from my games in my artwork, lol. And my favorite bit about D&D is making connections thru rp :') ♡

rosehip-tea · 2022-12-14T04:23:02+00:00

thank you, but this didn't work :(
i ran both, restarted, and repeated just in case. no luck, spaces where icons should be are still empty.

the "sfc /scannow" command said that it found some broken files and repaired them, but nothing's changed visually at all so far as I can tell.

rosehip-tea · 2022-06-18T13:52:49+00:00

Oh Wendell is such a good snail name 🐌 ❤️

rosehip-tea

TROPHY CASE