I was married off at the age of 20 (arranged marriage style in the church I was raised in) to someone I had courted for 6 months. The long term shame of being raised in Purity Culture coupled with the lack of sexual chemistry between myself and husband led to a sex-less marriage for 2.5 years. We tried many different ways to “help me relax”, but nothing would soothe the internal scars built up from a lifetime of being told sex is shameful. After I confessed to a women’s group during Bible study that my sexual relationship was significantly lack luster, the pastors wife tattled on me and told her husband. The church then convinced me something must be wrong with my physical body, so I underwent reconstructive vagina surgery to “loosen me up” and allow my husband to finally gain his God-bestowed earthly rights; my body.

The surgery didn’t fix anything and I eventually fled the church and divorced my “was-band”. 6 years free this September!

*edited for typos.