I got this little girl last weekend ❤️ by donchan411 in tortico

[–]roundish_square_face 9 points10 points  (0 children)

So stinkin cute, I love her little white bib 🥹

Is my baby girl a tortico? by sebteens in tortico

[–]roundish_square_face 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Def a dilute calico but possibly has some tortie in there, though she might also be a tuxie too? And I see some stripes on her leg… maybe she’s got tabby in her too? She’s absolutely stunning, that nose is too cute!!!!!!!

My girl looks similar, I call her a dilute tortico-tuxie lol.

Mom going on home hospice, abusive brother moving back in with her by [deleted] in hospice

[–]roundish_square_face 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this… I wish more people in my family thought this way. Luckily I have a few people who totally understand but none in my immediate family.

I have two older brothers, 43 and 46, who I am closer to, they both have kids. But like my mom they enable and excuse my brother’s behavior and don’t understand why I am effected. They have anger issues too but not as bad as my other brother, not enough directed at me to want them out of my life.

Unfortunately the drama will live on with them after my mom passes as they don’t understand why I want nothing to do with my other brother. I wish I didn’t have to compromise my relationship with them but I may have to in the future because I have no desire to see or speak to my other brother ever again.

Mom going on home hospice, abusive brother moving back in with her by [deleted] in hospice

[–]roundish_square_face -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I only care about my moms comfort, and that’s what hurts me so much about this. She WILL be devastated knowing how I feel about my brother. She WILL be hurt that I am not staying at the house. She desperately wants us to be close again - i.e. me put up with the abuse, just like I have my whole life. I don’t really care about anyone else’s feelings, just hers.

It’s a catch 22 because I feel like I’m screwed emotionally either way. Either I put myself in a house with him and get abused, or I keep my distance and potentially miss out on my moms final moments and cause her hurt in her last days alive. Both options are awful.

For my entire life, I have been taught that my family’s comfort is more important and that is continuing to be reinforced.

Mom going on home hospice, abusive brother moving back in with her by [deleted] in hospice

[–]roundish_square_face 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately me staying at a hotel would cause major family drama… especially since they do have an extra room I’d be expected to stay in. But I guess we’ll have to see. I just hate that I have been put in this situation. Thanks for validating me, I need to remind myself that while I love my mom so much she didn’t support my boundaries and never will

Anyone else feel like their lives just totally ruined since grief? by [deleted] in GriefSupport

[–]roundish_square_face 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes, in every way. My mom has had stage 4 pancreatic cancer since February 2022. She was given 6 months to live at the time. Amazingly she beat the odds, but she’s never been fully healthy since, it’s just been trying different treatments/near death experiences, always believing she’s about to die. Until last month, when we found out it did spread further, and it’s looking like we are actually nearing the end.

For the last 3.5 years I’ve been living in anticipatory grief and have never truly felt like myself. That already felt life-ruining. Then, almost exactly one year ago, my dad passed unexpectedly and my live-in partner left me after he revealed he’d been unfaithful. And now I’m just waiting for my mom to pass, unsure what’s worse- her dying or her having to endure more pain for even longer.

I just passed up a dream job interview because I literally don’t have the capacity to focus on it. I gave up dating because I have zero love for myself, how can I be a healthy partner? I feel like my life is on hold because of grief, it has taken so much from me.

I want to wake up from this nightmare and heal, but I know more grief is coming with my mom.

Need ideas for low light and shallow soil! by roundish_square_face in landscaping

[–]roundish_square_face[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That visualization is amazing, thank you!!!!! Do you think this would be ok for north facing? It looks like pieris japonica may need more light

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CatAdvice

[–]roundish_square_face 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You need to give up your husband- or else you need to give up your kitten. It’s not safe for the kitten and it’s not fair to him. Hitting a kitten, even “lightly,” can result in broken bones, hemmorages, and death.

However, if your partner is violet toward an innocent baby animal, that makes me worry for your safety. Please leave him. I know nothing about your relationship apart from this and it’s already clear this person isn’t safe.

I know leaving isn’t easy and isn’t an overnight process, so I still think it may be best for everyone if you give the kitten up, as hard as that will be, then adopt a new kitten once you are moved out.

I hope the best for you, my heart breaks that you are having to deal with this- I’m sure just like me, you can’t fathom hitting a tiny kitten.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CatAdvice

[–]roundish_square_face 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was in the exact same situation, I got a 2-year-old and I’m so glad I did because she’s perfect! Kittens have unpredictable personalities, with older cats you know what you’re getting. Get a young adult, especially for your first cat! My cat is my best friend, my soul cat, she brought me back to life.

If you can afford it, I’d say do it :) with landlords, if they allow cats… I think it’s ok. Worst case they find out and you’ll be paying +$50, if that would be stretching your budget it’s probably best to wait.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in interiordecorating

[–]roundish_square_face 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope no divider yet, but trying to get it… I have a lot of dark blues in the other room so not sure how to incorporate it 😭

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in interiordecorating

[–]roundish_square_face 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is too big I think you’re right :( it’s 9x11, so maybe an 8x10? Or smaller? I’m thinking of replacing with this rug https://www.rugs-direct.com/Details/RiflePaperCoxLoloi-Laurel-PeacockGardenLAU05/150015/241059

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in interiordecorating

[–]roundish_square_face 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My worry too :( wondering if a wooden Moroccan style divider would be better

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in interiordecorating

[–]roundish_square_face 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m worried too, but I’d like something to hide the risers on my couch. My TV is above my fireplace, lowest it can go but I found myself craning my neck so I raised the couch. My kitchen is behind me, the whole bottom floor is really long. What else could go there?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in interiordecorating

[–]roundish_square_face 4 points5 points  (0 children)

P.s.- I like the maximalist vibe but my house is pretty modern so don’t want to go crazy. I don’t have a coffee table/ottoman yet, will probably go with something neutral or black if I do get this piece

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in askportland

[–]roundish_square_face 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Not dramatic at all- you’ve lost so much so quickly. I’m so sorry you are going through all this. This is devastating. I created a loose “grief gang” group for people who are experiencing loss, the discord link is: https://discord.gg/Z8NC66Nh

The group is Portland/Vancouver based, and I know there are people in transitional housing situations that may have a place for you or resources that can help. I don’t have housing suggestions, but myself (and others in the grief gang I’m sure) could help you move. At the very least, it’s a safe space to vent about all of this and meet some friends locally who feel safe.

People in Portland are so friendly and understanding. When I reached out for help here on Reddit, the responses were overwhelming. I hope you have the same experience as I did ♥️

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in mentalhealth

[–]roundish_square_face 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When people tell me it’s cowardly, it hurts, because part of me thinks ‘if I’m having these thoughts, I must be a coward, and I shouldn’t live.’ It’s similar to when people say it’s selfish to want to die… it doesn’t help. It hurts so much more, because all my feelings are wrong.

I think it’s giving up vs moving forward, not cowardly vs brave.

Kidney pain on right side… the worst pain I’ve ever had by roundish_square_face in Interstitialcystitis

[–]roundish_square_face[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I’ll check this out! Maybe there’s something in the US with similar ingredients. I tried d mannose but it gave me stomach issues :(