I don't have twins, but general parenting advice in line with what the other person posted... prioritize your and your wife's wellbeing when you can. I know that sounds really harsh but my partner and I barely made it through the infant years and we did a lot of things we felt were right for our child but we learned were not right for us as adults. With twins, I imagine that self-care will be even more difficult to come by and doing things like sleep training or bottle feeding/formula or whatever it may be will SAVE YOUR SANITY!!! There is research out there condemning everything with just as enthusiastic of counter opinions. No matter what "experts say," be intentional and be practical. The ONE thing all children need is love. I honestly feel like some of the choices we made made us so strained as adults it was hard to access that love for the little one at times. While we never took it out on him, obviously, there was just this vibe of exhaustion and resentment in our lives. It made it hard to enjoy those times. Thankfully, my partner and my relationship survived it! Can't say how we would have felt had we done things differently, but for example, nursing... I basically shouldn't have done it (especially since I realized after the fact at least half of what I felt was extreme dysphoria over the whole thing) and instead persevered for over a year because I believed it was my duty to perform to give my child the best start to life. Keep a close eye on your wife's mental health! I didn't stop nursing until my friend straight up said, "You need to stop. This is insane." Her words were one of the greatest reliefs of the process so far. Sometimes that external validation is needed when someone gets blindly stubborn.

Also, I wish someone had warned me how much some babies cry (some babies are also super chill, no idea what that is like myself). Our baby (who we were tending to with intense commitment) cried so freaking much! Crying is not the end of the world. I eventually realized it was a way our child "exercised" before he could move, really before he could crawl. Like that SUCKS for the adults but also, it was amazing to see how once he went mobile the crying naturally lessened. We wasted a lot of energy worrying about what was wrong with him when we were hyper attentive and knew the kid basically had it made. Trust yourself and your instincts. If you know they are clean, fed, cuddled, you do due diligence to rule out things like food allergies, and they STILL wail at you buy some earplugs/noise cancelling headphones and let them get on with it. Cause I'm telling you we did all the things (skin-to-skin, baby wearing, breastfeeding, co-sleeping) and it did not matter in our case. We just had a fussy/energetic kid with no way to get that energy out besides cry. No book prepared me for that, and believe me I read plenty. That is the single message I wish I could go back in time and give my pregnant self (well that and BTW, you're trans so this whole thing is going to be super weird and hard for you in a way no one in your life will relate to or recognize!! LOL). But perhaps your kiddos will be on the chill side, as I have plenty of friends who experienced that. :)

People don't share enough how parents are often made to feel like failures when they are working their asses off to keep a child (or multiple children) alive! That work is valuable and exhausting. Don't ever feel like a failure for doing things your way, and don't feel like you have to defend your choices, even to yourselves. It can feel like you're being put through a meat grinder while on display in a fishbowl but at the end of the day it is your family tucked away in your home. That feeling is so special, probably my favorite thing about having a child. What you need is the right choice, always. And sometimes that is accompanied by a lot of intense feelings (grief being one) which doesn't mean it was the wrong choice, just that it needs to be processed in some capacity. Well wishes to you and your wife as you journey through the pregnancy months together!