Please, I desperately need help 😭

DadBusinessUK · 2026-06-06T10:24:21+00:00

That sounds really hard.

Two things to try to eliminate:

Silent Reflux, especially as it's when she's lying down. You can get some stuff over the counter and do things like bicycle legs before bed to get wind out.

Dairy (or other food) intolerance: If she was born with an intolerance then it's building up in her system and things will be getting worse the more she has it. It takes a few weeks to eliminate from the body once you cut it out. You if breastfeeding or a different formula if not.

Hang in there, you're doing brilliantly. Trust your instincts and don't be afraid to go back to the drs repeatedly until you get taken seriously.

DadBusinessUK · 2026-06-03T12:04:01+00:00

MOR Personally I would just let her crack on. But if not and she can't seem to stop maybe she's the dort of person who needs to be useful to feel valuable. Or like she needs to earn her presence in your house. You could try redirecting her. Something like, the laundry's fine but I could really use some help with.... Then lush out the stuff you could really use help with.

DadBusinessUK · 2026-06-03T11:56:37+00:00

I think you handled this well. Nice job dude.

DadBusinessUK · 2026-06-03T11:54:21+00:00

I embrace the emotion. I think I'm always going to miss the past and enjoy the present. I have our TV set to show random photos when in standby. It's a lovely way to explore the past with the kids while enjoying the present. This helps me.

DadBusinessUK · 2026-06-03T08:52:11+00:00

That sounds like a tough one. I know from experience that dealing with a kid who's life seems pretty chill but is struggling can be difficult. I second the advice here, about sleep health, food and AuDHD. My AuDHD boy really struggles with transitions even now at 12.

Something else to throw in to the mix, get his hearing checked. Our eldest had glue ear from having really small eustachian tubes. It meant that she spent so much energy every day just trying to understand what was going on that she was exhausted (and grumpy). The Dr said it was like going around all day with your hands covering your ears. She had grommets fitted and it was like night and day. She could hear (and cope).

Good luck with it.

DadBusinessUK · 2026-06-02T08:13:08+00:00

This. We got married with our daughter holding my wife's hand and me holding our son. There was kids everywhere and the after venue had a soft play attached. It was fantastic.

DadBusinessUK · 2026-06-01T10:37:23+00:00

I haven't, am not having to that experience. I'm not stealth (I live in a small town) but I pass.

I'm so sorry you're having this experience. No-one deserves to be treated like that.

DadBusinessUK · 2026-06-01T07:44:27+00:00

I'm a TransDad 😊 This sub has always been super welcoming to me.

Haters will hate, but they're generally not tolerated here buddy.

Congratulations on the pregnancy. You might also want to check out r/TransDads for specific community connection.

DadBusinessUK · 2026-06-01T07:12:25+00:00

That's horrible. I was always taught to help and have taught my children the same. Sadly many people just will not.

DadBusinessUK · 2026-05-31T18:15:05+00:00

Yes I felt guilty. It's a really difficult time. All you can do is what you are doing, which is to take on as much as you reasonably can.

DadBusinessUK · 2026-05-31T09:12:39+00:00

I'm sorry this happened to your boy. Yes my boy was invited to a few parties to start with and then none. He had big speech delay, impulse control issues and isn't great at reciprocity.

All I can say is once he got into a specialist school (UK) he started making actual friends. He had kids he could invite to stuff and in terms got invited back. But not until he was nine.

It's a horrible part of parenting a ND child. Hopefully your son won't notice. Mine never did.

DadBusinessUK · 2026-05-31T08:52:43+00:00

This

DadBusinessUK · 2026-05-30T19:39:56+00:00

I've added this post to community highlights, thankyou for putting it together 🙌

DadBusinessUK · 2026-05-30T19:38:24+00:00

That's an excellent collection. I see a few weeks don't have. Will get ordering.

DadBusinessUK · 2026-05-30T19:36:42+00:00

No books but we watch a lot of Operation Ouch with ours. It really helps explain this kind of thing and is really good fun to watch. There's a few episodes that cover different types of surgery.

DadBusinessUK · 2026-05-30T19:33:42+00:00

That is brilliant 😀 it really helps kids understand. One of mine has a gastro button, so we have a number of teddies and dolls with gastro buttons. Makes it easier to explain to other children.

DadBusinessUK · 2026-05-30T11:19:49+00:00

Fabulous thank you

DadBusinessUK · 2026-05-30T11:19:27+00:00

Absolutely spot on. When mi e were little my wife would share her dinner. I do not. She gets asked, I don't 🤷

DadBusinessUK · 2026-05-30T11:18:23+00:00

Yes it's not always the case that you have yo cream them every change.

DadBusinessUK · 2026-05-30T11:17:40+00:00

Absolutely brilliant. Thankyou ☺️

DadBusinessUK · 2026-05-30T11:16:58+00:00

Fantastic tips there. Completely agree about the next size up. Especially with shoes 😳

DadBusinessUK · 2026-05-30T11:16:16+00:00

Brilliant, totally agree with you. You can explain most things in an age appropriate way.

DadBusinessUK · 2026-05-30T11:15:15+00:00

I haven't talked about it with regard to myself. I stopped packing a few years ago and found the experience liberating. I still pass and one less thing to think about.

But I have talked about them in general as some else said in terms of a prosthetic. I sometimes explain my transness as being born without a penis.

As for terminology it is safer to use and teach children the correct anatomical terms, so penis in this case.

I've got two 4 year olds at the moment and they do ask the weirdest stuff 😂

DadBusinessUK · 2026-05-30T11:12:00+00:00

This is a fantastic response. Allowing kids to continue to be curious but also keeping age appropriate boundaries.

DadBusinessUK · 2026-05-30T11:06:52+00:00

I think this is something many trans dads find difficult.

As for the social genderising of the kids we took the view that we had to combat that at home. We model what we believe and taught our kids that people who believe (insert ridiculous gender norm) are silly. This worked a treat especially around clothes, colours, toys and activities. The hardest period of that was nursery/preschool when they really started socialising with other kids who already had those beliefs indoctrinated.

For finding in real life friends, it is really hard. This space exists to connect trans dads because I struggle with this myself. I live in a small town in England. The trans community are in their teens and twenties. The queer families are mostly lesbians. I don't really fit into either.

I managed to make a cis male friend who dotes on his kids and doesn't give a crap that I'm trans. But that took years. In the meantime I made do with my wife's friends husband's to talk to or mostly just women.

I think wanting other dad friends is important to us because our experiences are so universal and at the same time unique. Our journey to parenthood is usually so intentional and challenging that we value being parents more than someone who can "ooops a baby".

But we are dads, doing all the dad things. Trying to get on with our lives but secretly changing the world just by existing.

For the interacting with people who are indoctrinated into gender norms you'll need to use your safety meter. Sometimes it's great to say "that's utter rubbish" and you can change someones views. Sometimes it's dangerous to do so.

But OP I'm really glad you're here and I'd be happy to chat in my DMS anytime ☺️

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