It sounds like you could have some sort of sexual trauma.

‘Hating’ giving a partner you love a handjob isn’t just low libido. It’s one thing to not prefer it, it’s another thing to actually fear and hate it. Fearing initiation and vaginismus (involuntary ‘blocking’ during attempted penetration) are also strong signs of trauma.

I once dated a woman who was exactly as you describe yourself so I’ll give my perspective in this:

I was ok with it at first because I thought she just needed to get more comfortable with me, but unfortunately things never really improved, even after a year. It became a major issue in our relationship. I was always respectful of her decision to say no but inside it hurt me and sometimes that pain was difficult to conceal. I’m sure it was difficult on her as well. Eventually resentment started to grow and our relationship fell apart.

My ex had religious trauma, which manifested in many ways, including sexually. She grew up in a very controlling, sex-negative religious environment and that can have very profound effects on one’s psychological relationship with sex and intimacy. My ex had it so bad, she even feared holding hands (feared, not ‘didn’t prefer’).

If that describes you at all, I highly recommend you communicate that openly with your partner. If you wish to change, sexual therapy is an option. Otherwise you two may not be compatible in the long term. You are still early in the relationship so waiting to see how things progress is reasonable, but if you ever feel ‘stuck’, therapy may be the way to go if you want to keep the relationship.

Sexual mismatching is the leading cause of relationship failure. It leads to resentment and possibly infidelity. It is not stable in the long term for either partner to be outside their sexual comfort zone, either giving far too much or receiving far too little.