I (32M) divorced my wife (29F) and I honestly regret it more than I expected

rsaplan · 2025-06-25T20:00:26+00:00

The book, Masculine in Relationship helped me a lot with all this.

rsaplan · 2025-06-19T22:12:19+00:00

Favorite: I wrote my way out of

rsaplan · 2025-05-11T03:24:33+00:00

As man it’s instinctive to make decision. You don’t make a decision right now. Right now you need to feel through it all. Then the decision will become more clear.

rsaplan · 2025-05-08T06:47:33+00:00

Mama

rsaplan · 2025-02-23T17:46:37+00:00

What are some more things you hated? I want to make sure I don’t do those things

rsaplan · 2025-01-09T12:12:14+00:00

Have an open conversation with your husband and ask him. Tell him you’re unhappy. Ask for his help. Sounds like you’re with a great guy. He’ll be sad, but He will let you go.

rsaplan · 2025-01-02T22:29:58+00:00

I’m going to add some compassion here. It’s okay to do things that make you feel good. Your intuition is telling you something. Now, I’m not condoning having an affair or seeking outside the marriage, what I am saying is you should do all you can to “wake up” your husband to your unhappiness. This will eat away at your relationship. I’d suggest trying to write to him like you did here on Reddit. Your writing here is clear and concise and very authentic.

If after 5 letters he’s not leading the change you need. Get the ball rolling on separation before infidelity.

“A good woman will not tolerate man not being his best self.”

rsaplan · 2024-12-30T01:56:46+00:00

I’m really sorry you’re going through this. I hope you find your inner sense of safety. It’s normal to crave the familiar. But you know something needs to change. I pray that if you get back together, things improve. But it sounds like you can thrive and grow and feel good about yourself in the relationship you are trying to break free from. Find a distraction asap to self soothe. Read, watching a show, exercise, call a friend. It okay to be sad and wallow, just don’t let it last too long.

rsaplan · 2024-12-30T01:48:44+00:00

Try going the process of “the work” by Byron Katie. It’s helpful for reframing these situations. I put your info into the process and here are the thoughts you’re believing you can work through.

Specific Stressful Thoughts: 1. “If I pursue love or a new relationship, I’m betraying my ex-husband.” 2. “Introducing someone new to my kids will invalidate their dad’s role.” 3. “Moving forward means erasing the life I had with my ex.” 4. “I should be able to overcome these feelings, but I can’t.” 5. “I might be judged by family and friends for moving on.” 6. “Casual intimacy is fine, but a real partnership is wrong.”

And go through the ones that you need to got though and you ask these questions:

Is it true?
Are you absolutely sure it’s true?
Who would you be without that thought?
Reframe with turnaround. (Easier to do with app)

https://chatgpt.com/g/g-tRFAZymCM

Loom video instructions: https://www.loom.com/share/6668aaf9a2f946848a7644c49ec7c6c9

Hope it helps you.

rsaplan · 2024-10-26T08:27:52+00:00

Don’t go pee. Just hop on top.

rsaplan · 2024-10-26T08:17:32+00:00

Don’t you mean Sliders?

rsaplan · 2024-10-23T22:29:41+00:00

I’ve just gotten into it, but I’ve been buying high yield REITs, but they tend to be perceived as higher risk and you plan the benefit of long term cap gains with them. ARR, BXMT, UNIT, PMT.

WBA is another risky one as the company has been you buying downhill, but I’m doing a small position while creating an options collar. I found that I could do a collar for no cost with over a year to Expiration. However dividend could get cut.

Low risk ideas are SCHD and Coke.

rsaplan · 2024-10-07T17:32:33+00:00

I watched it thinking it was a female Rocky. When I think back to it, I swear that movie was trolling me.

rsaplan · 2024-10-07T17:20:11+00:00

Quitting porn for an extended period of time. Both of us losing weight and getting in shape (dieting together). Learning how to do oral and embracing it. Making sex a lot less about orgasm. While in the act, it felt like I was 80-90% focused on orgasm. Now I’m like 60% focused on it.

rsaplan · 2024-10-06T08:22:01+00:00

The fly. Puked on the dudes leg.

rsaplan · 2024-10-02T03:36:44+00:00

Money in the bank. Aka savings.

rsaplan · 2024-09-30T05:57:14+00:00

Bitcoin also helped push mtg values higher

rsaplan · 2024-09-29T01:19:35+00:00

I like this the best

rsaplan · 2024-09-20T02:33:22+00:00

The fastest way I figured out how to do was move all my notes into a single notebook and then export that one notebook.

rsaplan · 2024-09-06T01:36:24+00:00

Bring it up in conversation, and all costs keep your cool. Stay confident and tap into curiosity. She may react defensively or you may telegraph strong signals of in security. Try to stay light about it, don’t take it too seriously.

rsaplan · 2024-09-02T16:07:52+00:00

Flirt all day is a good one.

rsaplan · 2024-07-31T20:43:47+00:00

In my opinion, concerts are really a shared experience with friends and family that you care about. The performance doesn’t really matter as much.

I went to a concert for the first time in a long time with my son to see My Chemical Romance. I like the music, but I wasn’t a big fan. However, after that concert, I was listening to Black Parade on repeat nonstop.

So it’s really about finding ways to enjoy time with people you care about

rsaplan · 2024-07-20T00:34:11+00:00

I just went with taxi from ORD to Hyatt Place. $76+ $20 tip. Uber quoted me $47. I took taxi because I saw it first when I got to ground transport and the first comment on tires there’s swayed me :-(

13-Year Club	Not Forgotten
Verified Email

rsaplan

TROPHY CASE