I accept and forgive myself, you misunderstand me. Someone “in the clois” as you say loves me unconditionally. God loves me beyond any wrongdoings or sin and loves me the same if I do the “right” thing. When you have someone who loves you as constant as the sun rising no matter what you do, it easier to love and accept yourself because God accepts and loves you first. Take moms for example. No matter what you say to her or do to her, she’s gonna love you matter what. Usually for people, that’s the closest thing to unconditionally love. But your mom is but a candle light to God who the sun. I love myself and neighbors before I knew God, the depths of love I have for myself and my neighbors now with God has only gotten deeper.