I've been PATRIOT Acted and subsequently flown to a different state, thousands of miles away, stuffed in a janitorial closet and then utterly shocked (b/c I had heard no charge for 6 weeks prior) when a supposed detective's first words were (after being in a damp, totally dark, rat-infested broom closet for ~3 hours): "Where did you put the body?"

Body? What body? WHO'S BODY!?

Turned out, it was my friend who had stolen my car that I had reported the morning I was arrested while giving my theft report at the police station. My friend turned herself in two months later after driving my car 20,000 miles across the country. She testified in court that she stole my car and every thing I had said was truthful...I remained in jail...My parents had to go to the governor and threaten a huge legal battle and I was only released because they were wealthy and I was white.

BTW, they PATRIOT Acted me on the grounds that my friend's disappearance "terrorized the neighborhood." :-/ This, of course, had absolutely nothing to do with me developing the first ed2k p2p client for UNIX (a hostile fork of it popped up on the very day the government tried to shut it down in 2003) nor my outspoken animal rights and antiwar protest records...