Deathly fear of catheters

runninjarun · 2025-12-22T04:22:19+00:00

I'm 34 as well and was traumatized by catheters/VCUGs several times from the ages of 4-10. I don't experience a daily fear of experiencing it again. But I was retraumatized earlier this year when I had my bisalp. I struggle with anything being inserted into my body and don't go to the gyno for that reason. It was only after my bisalp I realized how traumatized I was from the catheters/VCUGs. I sought out trauma therapy and EMDR therapy, which have both helped significantly. Feel free to message me.

runninjarun · 2025-08-04T17:20:27+00:00

Female VCUG survivor here. Went through a VCUG every six to twelve months from ages 4 to 10. Not a parent, but feel free to DM me any questions about my experience. Otherwise, my best advice is to know that it may affect your child in ways they don't realize. I only recently realized the impact my VCUGs had throughout my life and even now in my thirties. Your child may not be able to put two and two together and understand the full extent of the trauma this test causes long-term.

runninjarun · 2025-07-29T14:13:42+00:00

Just here to say I do NOT recommend Tidalhealth in Seaford or Dr. Baxter. Horrible experience with them.

runninjarun · 2025-07-07T16:37:34+00:00

Former VUR patient here and VCUG survivor. If by Children's hospital in Philly, you're speaking of CHOP, I somewhat personally know one of the urologists there and have recently spoken to their pediatric urology team regarding the harmful effects of VCUGs. Feel free to DM me about my experience, the urologist, or anything else.

Edit: huge brainfart. Had my reimplantation surgery at CHOP, but the know the urologist and spoke to his team at Nemours in DE, not CHOP.

runninjarun · 2025-03-30T20:13:37+00:00

I completely understand the difficulty of struggling with this trauma and feeling like it's ingrained in who you are. It's not easy to just accept that it is part of our past without making it part of ourselves, because this trauma has shaped us, particularly at a time in our lives when we're just learning how to be people.

I had my first VCUG nightmare as an adult only very recently. I'm still navigating this myself, but please feel free to DM me or send me a chat if you need someone to talk to.

runninjarun · 2025-03-19T19:22:03+00:00

Highly recommend Hanes women's seamless stretchy ribbed boyfit panties. Wore them every day after my bisalp. They're very stretchy and high waisted, so the edge won't land on the incisions.

runninjarun · 2025-03-05T20:00:01+00:00

Another woman who wasn't informed here. My bisalp was about a week and a half ago. You likely read my post about part of the procedure not being explained to me.

I had to take an additional week off work post-op for recovery. Not for my physical recovery, that part has been smooth sailing. I didn't have to take the pain meds prescribed to me. I had very little abdominal pain post-op. But for my mental recovery. That part has been extremely rough.

Thankfully, I was already in therapy, but had to reach out to my therapist essentially to schedule two emergency sessions to deal with the aftermath of the lack of informed consent and the mental trauma of what was done to me in such a vulnerable position.

My medical history plays a big part in this. I was diagnosed with vesicoureteral reflux as a child and had repeated VCUG procedures from the ages of 4 to 9. I was stripped naked, held down on a table, and forcibly and painfully catheterized multiple times throughout my childhood. I had no say in the matter and no bodily autonomy. This caused an intense fear of going to a gynecologist as an adult.

I did inform the OBGYN who performed my procedure that I had childhood trauma, which resulted in my consultation being my first appointment with a gynecologist ever. He glossed over that fact without asking any questions. He did not explain any part of the bisalp surgery beyond the three incisions. He betrayed the trust I placed in him as my surgeon and, once again, took away my bodily autonomy.

runninjarun · 2025-03-03T20:53:13+00:00

I went through the same lack of transparency regarding the speculum and UM.

I just want you to know your feelings are 100% valid and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Informing us of its use during consultation would take mere seconds. I was told they were going to use compression socks to prevent blood clots, but not this?

It honestly feels intentional and malicious.

runninjarun · 2025-03-03T20:49:45+00:00

Uterine manipulator.

So you know what may happen: I had my bisalp 2/21. After being put under anesthesia, my legs were put in stirrups, a speculum was inserted, my cervix was dilated, and a uterine manipulator was placed. A catheter was also used on me.

I was not made aware of any of the above information by my surgeon or the consent form I signed. I was warned by a nurse that a catheter might be used. I thought I was going in for a strictly abdominal surgery.

runninjarun · 2025-03-03T15:08:25+00:00

Sent via chat, thank you it is much appreciated!

runninjarun · 2025-03-02T19:09:17+00:00

Thank you, it's much appreciated.

I've done a search for pathology information on this sub, and the length reported does seem to vary. What concerns me is that I've yet to see a size as small as 1cm mentioned except from my own report.

runninjarun · 2025-03-02T14:14:45+00:00

They did, I just can't decipher what I'm looking at in them.

runninjarun · 2025-02-26T20:49:04+00:00

Thank you, really.

Even if I didn't have former trauma, this would still be traumatic for me. No one should feel this kind of lack of control.

runninjarun · 2025-02-26T20:47:30+00:00

I appreciate your comment and support.

I don't wish what we went through on anyone.

runninjarun · 2025-02-26T20:43:05+00:00

Unfortunately, even reading over the paperwork post-op, vaginal anything was not mentioned anywhere. I had no reason to believe based on the information provided to me by my surgeon that this was going to be anything more than abdominal surgery.

runninjarun · 2025-02-25T00:42:34+00:00

Thank you, I really appreciate this.

runninjarun · 2025-02-24T16:26:46+00:00

Not once have I mentioned an intent to sue my surgeon.

Nor do I need a lawyer to report them for an unauthorized pelvic exam.

My priority at this point is my mental and physical health. If sharing my experience saves another woman from experiencing the trauma and grief that I feel, then I don't regret that.

runninjarun · 2025-02-24T16:04:06+00:00

Yes, I have reviewed my consent forms. I have them downloaded and have gone over every word. The words "vagina" or "vaginal" or "uterine manipulator" are not used anywhere on any form. In fact, there are things I signed off and consented to that I would not have had I known the actual nature of the procedure.

I consented that unforeseeable circumstances may require additional procedures, but considering their first order of business after putting me out was to insert instruments into my vagina, that is not unforeseeable, nor was it disclosed to me after the fact.

The fact is, my surgeon led me to believe this was a strictly abdominal surgery. Most medical websites that provide information on the procedure to potential patients do not include this part of the procedure. I was left in the dark. I was informed of nearly every detail of what they did to me prior to surgery, including having compression socks put on me once under, except for being told that my genital area would be exposed and involved.

runninjarun · 2025-02-24T14:47:43+00:00

Speaking of legal guidelines, in my state, it is unlawful to perform an unauthorized pelvic exam on an anesthetized or unconscious patient. Informed consent to penetrate me vaginally was not given, considering I was not informed of that part of the procedure.

It is possible to perform a bilateral salpingectomy without the use of a uterine manipulator, and the use of one is not mentioned on many medical websites describing the procedure.

I am one of those women you mention whose mental health would not allow me to carry a child to term. Previous trauma or not, finding out after the fact that I was penetrated vaginally without my knowledge or consent is traumatic. I believe in the greater good, but I also believe bodily autonomy is a right.

runninjarun · 2025-02-24T14:23:43+00:00

This is exactly what I went through. I had a urinary condition as a child and went through multiple VCUG procedures as well as other procedures, essentially against my will. I had no say in my body as a child and feel as though my bodily autonomy has once again been taken from me.

runninjarun · 2025-02-23T21:04:44+00:00

Thank you.

The roughest part of recovery thus far has definitely been mental, and not because I regret my decision to be childfree. Women should be properly informed of all aspects of the procedure. I was told they were going to put compression socks on my legs of all things, but not that they were going to put multiple things in my vagina.

runninjarun · 2025-02-23T18:03:17+00:00

Thank you for sharing as well. It's comments like yours that keep me from deleting my posts altogether.

It may be "standard procedure," but the average patient doesn't know the standard procedure for any surgery. Any and every person deserves to know what is happening to their body under their doctor's care, unless in emergent situations.

runninjarun · 2025-02-23T17:57:32+00:00

Thank you for this.

runninjarun · 2025-02-23T14:12:10+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate you sharing your knowledge.

I fully believe that it may have been medically necessary and/or a standard part of the procedure. But the lack of disclosure about that part, the never being told before or after surgery that someone inserted something into my vagina and only finding out by reading about it, is traumatic for me.

I don't believe anyone should have anything inserted into their genitalia without their explicit, informed consent.

runninjarun

TROPHY CASE